come have a cup of coffee with us...

2011 to 2012

2012-01-01T19:45:00.003-06:00

2011 is over. With a baby, a year sure does go by fast! I already know my memory is failing regarding what last year held for us since I was sleep deprived for a good part of it, so I'd like to write out some of the highlights of last year, for my own sake.

-Traveled to North Carolina for Zac & Cara's wedding - Elliot did great. Having a baby in a hotel room is much easier when you can put them on another bed & know they won't fall off!

-Got food poisoning on my birthday (not a good memory, but memorable nonetheless).

-Visited our friends in Houston a couple of times - the Yaws, the Smiths, the Lamberts, Kristin, Aaron.

-Paige & Jason came to visit.

-Celebrated our anniversary at a yummy French restaurant then went to see a movie.

-Got away for a weekend to Dripping Springs & stayed at a B&B while Elliot stayed with my mom & sister.

-I quit my job, worked for a few more months, then was able to really quit. :)

-Josh started looking for a new job in a different industry in June, got an offer a couple of weeks later, started with a new company & is thriving (won the first MVP award!).

-Found out we were going to become an aunt & uncle in March 2012!

-I went to a girls' weekend in August with my close friends from high school.

-Started leading a Life Group.

-Elliot turned one year old! We had some close friends & family over for a Pooh themed party.

-Went to our second Family Life Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference at the Hyatt Hill Country (love that place!). It was really good for us to get away & be able to talk about our marriage & see how far we have come in the past 4.5 years.

-Went to Disney World. Elliot did great with traveling & having a crazy sleep schedule, though he ended up in our bed instead of the pack n play - he would have none of it! Got food poisoning the last day & missed out on Epcot :(. I don't think I've ever had food poisoning, then twice in one year!

-Had our second Roberts family Christmas at home, & rang in the new year at home by ourselves - I think it's the first year that I've never had any plans. But it was nice!

Now on to 2012! As a friend wrote on her blog, I know two things: 1) I will experience trouble, & 2) Jesus will be with me!

It's Christmastime

2011-12-10T07:27:00.006-06:00

I refuse to do anything Christmas-y until the day after Thanksgiving, but once it's Christmastime, I'm all in! I love the trees & the lights on the mantle & the smells & the songs. (Have you ever really listened to the words of Christmas songs? The ones we've always known & have sung since we were little kids? They're about Jesus! [Okay, maybe not Jingle Bells.] Amazing really, that those words are played over secular radio every year. I pray that they bring people to a saving knowledge of Jesus!)

If you know me well, you know my middle name might as well be "tradition." My family jokes that if we do something twice, that means we'll do it forever. I do get stuck in my ways. They are familiar & bring back memories while making new ones all at the same time. But every Christmas, God causes us to think about the ways we celebrate. We want Christmas to be about Jesus. So how do we do that? How do we keep our hearts focused on Him during this time of busyness, traffic, & materialism?

I read this blog yesterday & I love the heart that it comes from. I'm so thankful other families can help lead the way in this desire to do Christmas a little differently. Here is a resource regarding the season of Advent. If you have any great websites, please let me know!

It's all a process, & we just want to make sure our hearts are in the right place. What is eternal & what is pleasing to Jesus? We want to do those things! So every year we consider, & every year something changes. Who knows what Christmas will look like for us in the years to come! But it's a wonderful time of realizing that one night, so many years ago, a baby was born who would become the Savior of the world, & one day that Savior will come back again, riding on a white horse, in victory, to take those of us who love Him to be with Him forever. Amazing!!

Survival Mode

2011-11-09T12:03:00.002-06:00

Last week, Elliot got a cold. This really isn't a huge deal, he was just really snotty & kind of grumpy since he didn't feel well. But that meant no Bible study & no gym all week, since that is how long his symptoms persisted. We got out one day & I meandered around Target for as long as I could because we had been stuck at home so long. Elliot also gave his cold to Josh, but I was able to fight it off.

He got better for the weekend, so I was able to go to MOPS & to church on Sunday. Then Monday he got the snots again, so no gym. Then Monday afternoon my throat started hurting. I woke up Tuesday feeling horrible, & went to the doctor to rule out strep since I felt a lot like I did when I had strep a few months ago. Fortunately, it's not strep, but unfortunately it's a viral infection that feels a lot like strep, but since it's viral I can't take any meds to fight it, I just have to let it run its course. Blahh. My throat hurts really bad & I have a lot of fluid on the right side of my face (& ear & throat, etc.) My ears are pressurized. My body hurts. & I have a baby to take care of! Lucky for me, he recently has been much better about playing by himself. So the past couple of days have been me sitting or laying on the floor while he plays. Insert feeding or changing him as needed. & that is the extent of my physical exertion.

I know he won't remember me being a completely lame mom for a few days here & there when I am sick, so I don't have any guilt about it. It is what it is, right? It's not fun, but it'll pass.

So pray for healing for our household! Elliot still has the snots a small bit, but overall seems better. I'm hoping after this week we can get back to normal!

The Early Bird

2011-11-05T06:28:00.003-05:00

I have learned, more so now that I am a mom, that if I had to pick one, I'm probably a morning person rather than a night person. I went to bed last night (on a Friday night) at 9:15 because I wanted to. & though I don't necessarily enjoy getting up early, I do enjoy my time in the morning, when it's still dark outside & the world seems quiet... I can make some coffee (pumpkin spice these days, yum) & spend time with Jesus before Elliot wakes up & before I start going on my to-do list for the day. It's quite nice. I woke up at 5:45 this morning (Saturday, you know!) just so I can have that time... me + Jesus + coffee + quiet = a really good combo. :)

Toddlerhood

2011-11-01T14:16:00.005-05:00

Something happened when Elliot turned one - it's like his brain switched into toddler-mode. He started the obvious toddler thing to do, which is walk full-time. He decided to get a little louder (which, since he's been a pretty quiet baby so far, still isn't too terribly loud all the time). He decided to exert a little more of his opinion. He lets me know when he wants something, usually by making noise & pointing to it, & also lets me know how upset he is when I don't let him have it. He's letting more of his personality show. Toys are littered across every floor in the house - things that are meant to be toys, as well as empty water jugs, hand towels, & rulers. It just all happened so abruptly! It's all of a sudden a whole new world. Toddlers are very different than babies! But it's been fun. & every time he acts out is just an opportunity for us to show him we don't approve of that kind of behavior, & to show him the right thing to do, which is building the foundation for being a completely obedient child. (Okay, I'm kidding about the "completely" part - but training up a child in the way they should go does start now!)

This past weekend we went to a wedding of a good friend from high school. We got to spend the whole weekend with several of our closest friends, who do not live in San Antonio. Times like those are so sweet & such a blessing. We are totally blessed to have such great friends who have the same values & priorities that we do, & we're so thankful that we are able to maintain those relationships even at a distance. It was a fun & refreshing time. I pray that one day God allows us to live in the same city as some (or all!) of those friends.

Guess I better go clean the bathrooms while Elliot sleeps... sigh. Not my favorite chore... hence the blogging!

So it's been over a month...

2011-10-18T10:08:00.002-05:00

I know, it's ridiculous. I mean, I don't work anymore, so shouldn't I have time to blog? The problem is, Elliot doesn't really like for me to do anything on the computer while he's awake. I can get away with cooking or doing laundry (most days), but the computer, not so much. Which leaves only nap time or after bedtime. & I have other things to do, so blogging gets pushed to the back burner.

Elliot is a whole year old!! This year has gone by so fast & at the same time, it feels like it's been forever. It sure causes me to reminisce over what things were like a year ago, & remembering being hugely pregnant & being in the hospital & all of that... crazy. He's definitely a little toddler now. He walks really well, though still enjoys crawling about half the time because he's just faster that way (he tried almost running the other day, which didn't really work out!). He has a sweet little personality, & seems to be a rule follower like his mama - though we also see that human nature rebelling at times! He seems to do new things weekly, many of which crack us up!! The other day he was sticking his tongue out & moving it around for a good five minutes. Good cheap fun! :)

We are entering the busy fall season. First of all, it finally feels like fall outside which is AMAZING. I am enjoying a cup of pumpkin spice coffee as we speak. We went to the pumpkin patch last week & I got my must-have caramel apple. I love this time of year - it is my favorite!

God has been teaching me a lot lately, as well. It has been a good season of growth & really seeing Him move in the people around me. I praise Him for being so intricately involved in our lives - He truly orchestrates even the tiniest details for His glory.

Okay, time to go fold laundry before Elliot wakes up! Thanks for hanging in there during this dry blogging season. :)

The Commitment of Marriage

2011-09-16T13:07:00.004-05:00

Sometimes, Christians (whether they actually are Christians or not) say or do really wrong things. It's frustrating & the main reason people don't buy into Christianity - we look like a bunch of hypocrites. I'm the first to say that sometimes I do what I shouldn't, because I am human, but repentance follows (sooner or later!) & I am praying to be more & more like Jesus every day.

Sometimes, I wish I could tell the world - look at JESUS to find out what He is like. He is faithful & true, loving & strong, compassionate & victorious. Read Scripture to know what God says, what His priorities are, what He values & desires.

That being said, I really liked the article I received from Family Life today:

Is It Okay to Divorce a Spouse With Alzheimer's?

by Dave Boehi

I was surprised this week when I read about the comments Pat Robertson made about divorce and Alzheimer’s on The 700 Club. On Tuesday, in a segment where he answers questions from viewers, he was asked the following question:

I have a friend whose wife suffers from Alzheimer’s. She doesn’t even recognize him anymore and, as you can imagine, the marriage has been rough. My friend has gotten bitter at God for allowing his wife to be in that condition, and he’s started seeing another woman. He says that he should be allowed to see other people because his wife as he knows her is gone … I’m not quite sure what to tell him. Please help.

Robertson obviously felt a lot of compassion for the man. “I hate Alzheimer’s,” he said. “It is one of the most awful things, because here’s the loved one, the woman or man that you have loved for 20, 30, 40 years, and suddenly that person is gone, they’re gone. They are gone.”

The next words were disappointing and controversial: “I know it sounds cruel, but if he’s going to do something, he should divorce her and start all over again, but, to make sure she has custodial care and somebody looking after her.”

His co-host broke in and asked, “But isn’t that the vow that we take when we marry someone, that it’s for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer ... ?”

Robertson answered, “Yeah, I know, if you respect that vow, you say ‘til death do us part.’ Well, this is a kind of death. … I can’t fault him for wanting some kind of a companionship, and if he says in a sense she is gone, he is right. It’s like a walking death.”

The importance of your wedding vows

This is an issue I’ve thought about the last few years as I’ve watched different people cope with similar situations. As you grow older, you view your marriage vows through a different lens. Most young married couples, with stars in their eyes, have little idea what they’re saying when they vow to remain together for a lifetime, “for better, for worse … in sickness and in health … ‘til death do us part.”

But after two or three decades of marriage, you begin to understand in a deep way how important those vows are. You realize there will likely come a day when one of you will devote much of your time and energy to taking care of the other.

That’s the normal course of marriage, and of life. Nowhere in Scripture can you find justification for divorce because of old age, illness, or memory loss. And I’ve got to say that it gives you a great sense of comfort and security to know that your spouse is totally committed to you and will never leave, no matter what happens to you.

Caring for a patient with Alzheimer’s may be one of the greatest tests of a marriage. But I think we need to be telling the church today that God will give us the strength to fulfill our vows no matter what situation we find ourselves in. There are ways for a caregiving spouse to meet his needs for companionship without starting a relationship with another woman.

A marriage marked by unshakeable commitment is a beautiful picture of Christ's relationship with the church. Here are some great comments that blogger Russell Moore made yesterday:

Marriage, the Scripture tells us, is an icon of something deeper, more ancient, more mysterious. The marriage union is a sign, the Apostle Paul announces, of the mystery of Christ and his church (Eph. 5). The husband, then, is to love his wife “as Christ loved the church” (Eph. 5:25). This love is defined not as the hormonal surge of romance but as a self-sacrificial crucifixion of self. The husband pictures Christ when he loves his wife by giving himself up for her.

Moore points out that when Christ was arrested, “his Bride, the church, forgot who she was, and denied who he was. He didn’t divorce her. He didn’t leave." Moore goes on to say,

A woman or a man with Alzheimer’s can’t do anything for you. There’s no romance, no sex, no partnership, not even companionship. That’s just the point. Because marriage is a Christ/church icon, a man loves his wife as his own flesh. He cannot sever her off from him simply because she isn’t “useful” anymore.

Someday you or your spouse will likely be faced with this type of test. For your sake and for the sake of your legacy, may I suggest that you choose today how you will respond. Look your spouse in the eye and say:

“No matter what ever happens to you, there are two things you need to know: First, God will never leave you or forsake you. And second, neither will I.”

Bittersweet

2011-09-02T10:16:00.003-05:00

I have not known, by experience, the definition of that word as much as I have come to know it in the past couple of weeks.

Four years ago, I started working for our church part-time from home. Long story short, I had prayed a ton about what I should do work-wise, & everything I thought about pursuing, God told me no. He told me to wait. So I did, & then was approached with this opportunity in the right time. It was perfect. I had no desire to pursue a career, I just wanted something to do before we had kids. I loved the people I worked with, it was flexible, & I still had time to hang out with friends during the week, take care of our home, & exercise.

I had always said that I would work until I couldn't both work & be a mom well. Josh & I felt strongly about me being a stay at home mom, so I decided that if my role as a mom was suffering, the job had to go. That realization came a couple of months ago. I knew I couldn't do it any longer, & God confirmed for me that this season was over.

Yesterday was my first day unemployed (though we are still transitioning the role, so I'm still working a smidgen). Sometimes I'm really excited about what God has for me in this new season. We are new Life Group leaders, & I just signed up for MOPS, & am doing a Bible study with our church this fall. & I just know, because the Lord is faithful & I have seen Him do it time & time again, that when I am obedient to what He wants me to do, He blesses me. There is much joy in obedience. So I know it will be good. But I am so, so sad to not be in weekly community with the church staff anymore. I am sad to say goodbye to what has been the past four years. I have had such crazy emotions lately - so very bitter at times, so perfectly sweet at others. I know as I continue to walk this through, it will become more & more sweet. Because my Jesus is good to me. & His ways are perfect.

Giveaway!

2011-08-24T07:38:00.001-05:00

My Phi Lamb sister Katy is hosting an Erin Condren giveaway over at her blog... go check it out!

2011-08-10T07:42:00.002-05:00

I know of a Christian who was in solitary confinement for years and experienced much hunger and pain. Sometimes he was aware of Jesus asking him, "Is it too difficult for you? Shall I ease your lot?" Again and again he replied, "Please, Jesus, see to others. I can bear it. I'm all right."

This is the bride's mentality. She tells Jesus to follow His calling as a king. She can carry the cross allotted to her in the hope that, when the evening comes, He will return to her. She is reluctant to make continual demands upon Him.

Excerpted from The Midnight Bride (pp. 154-155), by Richard Wumbrand

I have time...

2011-07-21T07:00:00.003-05:00

I decided I should blog, but I don't feel inspired. I feel like anything I write will be mundane. There have been times I have wanted to write, but didn't have time. Thus the lack of writing! Oh well. Maybe you should read this at 9 pm to help you fall asleep, because it's now or [later than now] so this might be boring.

The past couple of weeks have been busy around here. Not necessarily time-busy, but emotionally busy. Josh searched for, found, & accepted a new job, quit his current job a couple of weeks ago, & is in the last couple of days before he's done. This has been stressful for him - quitting a job is never easy. & neither is the transition. But he is excited for his new opportunity & ready to get going. Fortunately, next week he will be in between jobs, so we get the whole week to hang out! That is a nice consolation prize, considering we don't get to take a vacation this fall now that he won't have the vacation time. (I'm pretty sad about that.) I wrote up a to-do list for the week, which includes important things like babyproofing the cabinets so Elliot can roam the house, & getting new internet & cell phone plans, & also equally-important-but-in-a-different-kind-of-way things such as "get a snow cone" & "go to the pool." It should be fun.

That's it for now, must enjoy some coffee before Elliot wakes up... I'll have more to share, but I won't say it'll be soon, because really, who knows. :)

Parenting 201

2011-06-17T10:22:00.003-05:00

We have entered a new realm of parenting - discipline. Eek. Elliot is now crawling all over the place, pulling up, reaching for everything, & even exhibiting a bit of the "human sin nature." Oh boy. Now, if you don't think disciplining an 8 month old is appropriate, stop reading now. Josh & I believe that babies are smarter than they seem, & we want to teach him what is okay & what is not. We believe he has reached the stage where it is time to create boundaries. The problem is, how do I decide what those boundaries are?

You see, I am the type of person that lines up the kitchen table with the floor tiles. It's got to be straight. So, when my baby heads for my photo albums, do I get over it & force myself to think photos warped by drool is adorable? Or do I attempt to keep him away from everything that is not sold in the baby aisle of Target? You see my quandary.

It's hard to think about disciplining him. Who wants their child to get upset? I can see how parents end up letting their kids have or do whatever they want. But I also see what kind of kid that produces, & I don't want one of those!

God is SO teaching me right now to look to Him in EVERY moment. Stop - get my heart in the right place - pray & ask for wisdom/patience/peace - & let Him do it. Be obedient. What a process. It seems He is bound & determined to change me. How about that? Well, I might as well go with it. He really does have my best in mind, & Elliot's best. He is good. I really can rest in that!

Living radically

2011-06-10T10:13:00.004-05:00

If you haven't read the book "Radical" by David Platt, I recommend you do so. Even more, I recommend you read it with your spouse. Josh & I are both reading it, & are only about halfway through, but it has caused many conversations between us. Reading it is much more impactful than my summary could ever be, so I won't even try. But here are some of the ways we are being challenged.

We have always been pretty frugal people (some may say "cheap"). But now we are considering - okay, when we choose not to spend our money on something, then what do we do with it? Are we frugal so that we can save save save? Or do we realize what eternal purpose that money could serve?

Now, the basis behind ANY question we ask is motive. Saving in itself isn't bad. Buying a house or a car or going out to eat aren't in themselves bad things. But when we save, is it because we are putting our security in our finances? We need a "safety net?" Is it taking away from our trust in the Lord, that He provides for all of our needs? Maybe. When we buy something, is it because the Lord is leading us to do so? Or because we want the new thing, the bigger thing?

We have, until now, thought that we would need to buy a new car soon - a new (used) SUV for me to truck our kids around in. I drive a small car & Josh drives an SUV with almost 150,000 miles on it. But what about me driving Josh's car until it dies? Well, I tell ya, I get much more excited about the thought of a newer car. But why?? I'm not saying we won't eventually buy a car. But we want our hearts to be in the right place. We want to be willing to sacrifice. We desire to live simply. We don't want our money to go toward "earthly trinkets," but "eternal treasures."

When we save money by not buying something, we are now challenged to consider where we might give it. We have always given money to our church & to other organizations. But maybe we should go above & beyond. Do we give out of excess, or are we sacrificing? God already gave us somewhere to give some money, & put it on Josh's heart for us to do so. I gladly submit to a husband who desires to give to something that will have eternal benefit!

I am also being challenged to consider my purpose. God wants to use us to make disciples; to change the world. Yes, being a wife & a mom is a huge calling that the Lord has placed on my life. But I know that's not all He has for me. & I want to be used where He wants to use me.

It may sound huge & lofty, all good & well, or it might sound crazy or legalistic. (Sidenote: One other thing I am trying to do right now is to make sure I'm not making "rules" for myself. As a rule follower, that is so easy for me. But I want there to be reason behind the things that I do.) Read the book! Platt's heart behind every word is that we might do what GOD wants. Die to ourselves that He might live through us. I am excited to see how the Lord is moving in our lives. He has GOOD things for us, & I want to be a part of it!!

Follow the rabbit trail.

2011-06-02T20:44:00.006-05:00

So, one day after Elliot started crawling, he started pulling himself up to standing. Whaat? He is getting so big! It's so cute to walk into his room after his nap & he is sitting up in his crib waiting for me. We are going to buy him a convertible car seat this weekend. Unfortunately he is not a big fan of being in his infant seat longer than about 45 minutes, which makes 5 hour drives really, really long. So we're hoping the next step up will be more comfortable for him. Or I may need to invest in sedatives. For him or for me? I guess you'll never know! (Just kidding. Kind of.)

Last night I went to bed at 8:15. It was awesome.

Tomorrow is National Donut Day. Free donuts at Krispy Kreme & Dunkin Donuts. You're welcome.

Speaking of sugar, is there really anything better than a Double Stuf Oreo? Oh, oreo ice cream & oreo dirt pudding & oreo cake balls... good point.

We are excited for the Winnie the Pooh movie coming out soon. Elliot has two Pooh Bear stuffed animals, & a super soft Pooh diaper that says "Small Pieces of Fluff." It's so cute. I told Josh he is the Tigger to my Eeyore.

I love going through closets & drawers & getting rid of things. Throwing away, giving away, selling; doesn't matter. I love simplifying. Josh came home in a simplify mood so we cleared out our bookshelves & he cleaned his closet & some drawers in the bathroom. It's kind of like our house loses weight every time we get rid of things. It's great.

Here are a couple quotes at my desk that I like:
"The circumstances of life, the events, of life, & the people around me in life, do not make me the way I am, but reveal the way I am." Dr. Sam Peeples

"You are never more valuable to God than you were the day you were born." (I don't know who said that one, but it's good for the performance-driven types like me.)

It's 9 pm. Way past my bedtime!!

Crawling & marriage

2011-05-27T10:15:00.005-05:00

I tell ya, if I didn't have things to do with my time, I'd have an awesome blog. But for the next 25ish years, this is what you are stuck with. :-)

Well, it looks like we have a crawler on our hands! After a couple days of being very frustrated over getting up on all fours but not being able to move, he figured it out & is shimmying his way across the living room. Usually toward me. Moving any previously folded laundry out of the way to get there. I tell ya (there I go, tellin' ya again), I am definitely learning how to let go of things, like always having everything neatly picked up. I do however have a nice looking living room after Elliot's bedtime! I refuse to become sloppy, but I will try not to be anal.

Yesterday was Josh & I's four year anniversary. Three years ago we were in Dallas, two years ago we were in Florence, Italy (gosh, like we'll ever be able to top that), & last year we found out Elliot was a boy, so this year was definitely low-key in comparison, but being able to go out to dinner babyless was a much needed treat!! Uncle Tyler & Aunt Kelsy watched Elliot while we went out to a delicious dinner (escargots, crab cake, bacon mac n cheese with steak, truffle lobster risotto, s'mores chocolate tart & tiramisu.... I'm drooling at the memory).

Lately I have become a little more aware that I am really, really blessed by my husband. It has surprised me to see several couples our age already divorced. I don't pretend to know or understand their circumstances, but for me, I can't imagine my life without Josh. I even have dreams where we're not married, but I know that we are supposed to be, or where another guy is pursuing me & I'm like... where's Josh??? I know people say it a lot, but he TRULY is my best friend, the person who I confide in & who I have the most fun with. Even if you stripped away every bit of romantic feelings, that would remain, as it was the foundation of our relationship for several years before romance even entered the picture. & I am so thankful for him & our relationship. I don't mean for it to say that I somehow got lucky to find that special person, or something... marriage takes a lot of work & a lot of learning to die to yourself. You can't be selfish & have a good marriage, & even if our marriage wasn't great, it is still a commitment we made before God that represents Christ & His relationship with His church, & we take that very seriously. We obviously have to work at it. But, he is wonderful. & he puts up with me. For that I am thankful!

My Identity Crisis

2011-05-15T10:29:00.006-05:00

You know, it's amazing the things our identity can get caught up in. I think some are more obvious than others. There is the "I'm a stay at home mom;" the "I'm so successful in my job;" the "Why yes I am that person's spouse;" the "I am loving the single life;" etc. Those are identities we are more aware of. But what about roles like:

"I am so knowledgeable on this particular subject."

"I can't believe this is my life; let me tell you about my horrible life."

"I am the world's biggest fan of (insert sports team)."

"I am told I am so pretty all the time."

"I am (insert negative quality)."

"I live in a big house & drive a nice car."

We see these things that may or may not be true about us, & we dwell on them & allow them to become who we are. They determine whether or not we see ourselves as successful, valuable, or of any purpose. That's a problem. Even if those things are "good," they will eventually leave us empty & desperate for more.

I have been in a funk lately, & I am beginning to think that I have been grabbing onto these things that I see in my life, & letting them become who I am & what I am about. For instance, "I am sleep deprived & a slave to the nap schedule." My baby doesn't sleep well, & I take that to mean I am somehow failing, & afraid that others view it that way too. (That being said, if you come at me with advice, I might kick you in the shin.) Or, "this is what my body looks like now after having a baby, & the world tells me it isn't good." Great. So, if I allow these thoughts to happen, & I begin to see myself in these ways, I get frustrated & it wears on me emotionally & spiritually. Because that is NOT who I am. I am chosen by God; set free from the old, self-focused me. I have at my disposal the ability to feel freedom, peace, & joy. I want to choose those things! He has given me the role of wife & mom, & when those things are difficult, I'm not supposed to wallow in my circumstances, I'm supposed to ask Him for wisdom, for the solution to my problem. God says that what I look like on the outside doesn't matter, but my heart & my intentions do. So which one should I spend more time worrying about?? Who said my baby should be sleeping through the night every night at 12 weeks, anyways? Does God value that? (I'm not saying you're bad if you try to get your baby to sleep. I just need to make sure my heart is in the right place about it.)

I'm certainly not saying that I've figured it out. I'm trying to. I don't like being in a funk! & I think I need to focus on where I am putting my worth. That will definitely help. This is not what God has for me. He has much, much better - He has promised good things for me. I just need to allow Him to make it so.

The Royal Wedding

2011-04-29T08:25:00.007-05:00

I have to admit, the thought of waking up in the wee morning hours to watch the royal wedding seemed kind of crazy, especially considering I truly value my sleep these days. But in the end, the desire to make a memory won out (not to mention not having a DVR; I had no "watch it later" option). I set my alarm for 4:30, & of course Elliot woke me up at 3:45, so it's 8:30 & I've been up for almost 5 hrs. I'm on to breakfast & cup of coffee #2. (It's gonna be a long day).

Anyways, it was pretty great. It was so cool to watch the royal family driving to the church, & to see everyone walking in. [Side note: I want to wear fastenators (sp?)! I think they are awesome! Can someone please start selling them on this side of the pond?]

Then to see Kate getting into the car, to see the dress, her face behind a veil - all the anticipation (that has indeed been media-driven, but nevertheless, it was there) culminating in seeing her heading toward her groom. I got emotional, it's true. & I realized that the way that we see this bride, looking amazing on her wedding day, is only a small picture of one day, when the Body of Christ, all believers, the bride of Christ, is presented to her Groom. It is going to be more amazing, more exciting, more passionate than any wedding we've ever seen or experienced. His love for us is greater than the love of a prince for his princess. It is the love of a King for His creation, for those He literally laid down His life for.

I think there is a part of every woman that loves the fairy tale; that wants to be the princess in the gorgeous dress. Because we were made for that! We were made to be saved, to be redeemed, to be passionately loved & desired & treasured. Marriage is a picture of that, but it's not perfect. Your earthly husband will let you down - he is incapable of loving perfectly. The only way we can truly fill that need is to understand the way that Jesus passionately loves us. I would say sometimes I feel I understand it, but largely, I continue to pray that I would really experience the love that He has for me, & be able to comprehend how that love was shown at the cross. He doesn't need to prove His love for me (though He still chooses to, every day if I choose to see it) - He already did. I just need to understand & accept it in order to live in it.

One day our knight on a white horse will come for us. We will be rescued from pain, hurt, sorrow, death. We will finally be in the presence of our King, Father, Creator, Savior, Friend, Groom. Revelation gives us a little bit of an idea what it will be like, but really, we can't fathom it. But I do know, it will be more spectacular than the wedding I watched this morning (as lovely as it was). THAT will be a royal wedding, my friends. The One that has the authority over all kings & princes & governors & earthly officials will come for us, & we will be presented to Him - beautiful, adorned, pure, radiant.

And I will betroth you to Me forever. I will betroth you to Me in righteousness & in justice, in steadfast love & in mercy.

Hosea 2:19

For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name; & the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth He is called.

Isaiah 54:5

As the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.

Isaiah 62:5

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing.

Zephaniah 3:5

Then I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse! The one sitting on it is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and makes war. His eyes are like a flame of fire, and on His head are many diadems, and He has a name written that no one knows but himself. He is clothed in a robe dipped in blood, and the name by which He is called is The Word of God. And the armies of heaven, arrayed in fine linen, white and pure, were following Him on white horses. From His mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations, and He will rule them with a rod of iron. He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty. On His robe and on His thigh He has a name written, King of kings and Lord of lords.

Revelation 19:11-16

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Revelation 21:1-4

Teething, & things you do with your teeth

2011-04-26T19:25:00.007-05:00

So I don't think that I realized how much I would hate teething. Hate it! First of all, it's one of those things that sometimes is hard to figure out... okay, fussy baby... been fed, been changed (though Elliot doesn't fuss over a messy diaper), being entertained... teething??? The past couple of nights, he has woken up & screamed & screamed, even when I'm rocking him. We've busted out the Tylenol on those occasions. It's just sad that he is hurting & I can't do anything! & that it interrupts sleep - no one wants that!! & no teeth to be seen. I do think his gums were swollen today, so maybe soon.

Elliot started solids a couple of weeks ago, which didn't start out so well, but we are sticking with fruits for now while he gets used to things & develops a taste for different flavors. He likes apple. Bananas kept him from pooping for 2 days, so I think we'll keep those away for now! That, plus his need to reach & grab things, his constant movement - I have realized I have a real live baby. No more little helpless infant, but a growing boy that is developing personality & will get into trouble (hopefully not too much; we're hoping he's lame like his parents ;-) ) that will soon be crawling then walking & talking - ah! I get ahead of myself. It's fun though. It'll be totally crazy one day when we have multiple kids. In a good way. :-)

I'd also like to mention that I started up the food blog again! You can find it on the left side of the page under my favorites - Tried & True Recipe Share. It started out with several women all contributing, then we all kind of fell away from posting recipes (my excuse was that I was not experimenting in the kitchen while pregnant). But lately I have been trying lots of new recipes, so I started posting the ones that turn out good, mostly so I have a place to store them all because my recipe box is only so big. So take a look!

Baby, massage, hummus

2011-04-05T19:00:00.005-05:00

I am still constantly amazed that Elliot is like a real live baby now! My little infant is gone. He no longer just lays there. He always wants to play & move & grab things now. It's just crazy! This past week he has pretty much mastered sitting up. He loves to reach out to grab his toys, which sometimes includes face-planting, which he seems to find entertaining. He's going to be a mobile little guy once he figures out crawling!! He isn't a big fan of bending his legs, so I don't think crawling will happen anytime soon... of course, he changes week to week so I could be completely wrong! It's so fun to see him growing. It is a challenge on some days, especially when he's a little fussy (teething, I think) or won't nap or wants to be entertained (by me) all day. It's tiring! But so fun, & I wouldn't have it any other way.

That being said, I am cashing in Thursday on the gift certificate my parents gave me for a massage, & I am SO EXCITED. Oh man. My back has been hurting pretty bad the past month or two, so I know it will help, not to mention the relaxation factor & spa experience. Oh how I love going to the spa. It doesn't happen often, so it is indeed a treat that I REALLY enjoy!!

I made a black bean hummus last week that I must share with you. I got the recipe from Jenny Rigney, & it is DELISH! I am motivated to make different kinds of hummus. I'll have to experiment soon when I have some free time.

Here it is:

Black Bean Hummus

1 Garlic Clove
1 15 Oz Can Black Beans, rinsed and drained
3 Tbsp Olive Oil
2 Tbsp Water
Juice of 1/2 a Lemon
1/2 Tsp Cumin
1/4 Tsp Salt (we use kosher)
1/4 Cup Cilantro, chopped

1. Place garlic clove in a food processor and pulse for 1 minute.
2. Add the remaining ingredients and puree in food processor until smooth.
3. Serve with toasted pita bread, tortilla chips, or fresh veggies.

I didn't add the lemon juice because I didn't have any, & I didn't add cilantro because it makes me want to barf. I loved it with black corn chips & with Sun Chips.

Enjoy!

Dedication is more than just a day...

2011-03-23T10:27:00.005-05:00

My oh my, poor blog, how I have neglected you. Or rather, I have neglected the five of you who read it. I hope you are sticking with me. :-)

Life has been good. I feel like I have hit a good, new normal. My work load has evened out, for the most part, & I am able to delegate the time for each part of my jobs: wife, mom, homemaker, part-time employee. My house is even clean! How about that! I have definitely learned to extend grace to myself for the times that I just can't do it all. Josh & Elliot are my priority, & so if something else doesn't get done perfectly, that is okay. Life will go on! I am thankful to work for someone who cares about our family, & understands when I need to put work on pause to tend to Elliot. I feel like I have a good balance going on right now - well, minus exercise, that one is still lacking a bit. But as time goes on, I get a little more energy, so high hopes for getting back to some kind of exercise routine.

We dedicated Elliot to the Lord on Sunday at church. It was a special time for us to stand before our church body & say that we will do everything we can to lead him to the Lord, & for them to agree with us to come along side us & do what they can as well. I know God has created Elliot's life for a good purpose, & our role is to try our best to raise him to know God & to love His Word & obey His leading.

Part of that, that I am having a hard time with, is knowing that Elliot's life is in God's hands. As a mom, I take care of his basic needs - feeding him, keeping him clean, helping him sleep, etc. I protect him as best I can. But this has also brought a heaviness on me, an anxiety. I am responsible for this little person's well-being?! What if I mess up?? What if I do something terribly wrong? Oh, what a heavy burden to carry! It is not mine to carry! I am taking on more than my role. His life is NOT dependent on me. He is God's, & God will protect him regardless of my actions. Now, I'm obviously not saying I have no responsibility - but I am not fully responsible for him. I can't be. I do what I am supposed to do, & make decisions as best I can, but I am not going to mess up God's plan for Elliot, I'm just not.

I'm trying so hard to walk in faith, trusting God fully. A result of that will be peace & joy over my role as a mom. I haven't succeeded yet; I still deal with a physical feeling of anxiety. I have always struggled with fear, in different ways, & this is just a new version of it for me. But I know that this is something God wants to do in me, so I am prayerful in it. I want to trust Him with my children. I know I can. It's just walking that out, day by day, in my actions & emotions.

In other news, Elliot is five months now. He is continuing to grow like a weed. He is at least 27 inches long & about 16 lbs (these are my measurements so I know they are not exact) - 91st% for height, 32nd% for weight. Our little string bean! His weight had dropped off a month ago to 20th%, so I'm glad he bumped it up this month. He loves to stand (it's really hard sometimes to get him to sit!), loves having his fingers in his mouth (or anything, really), & has developed some fun new squeals & talks a lot more now. I think he may be teething - he has had some super grumpy moments lately, which is sad for our normally happy little guy.

Jason & Paige are coming to visit us this weekend, so we are very excited to spend time with old friends. I also got to spend time with a couple of friends last week. I am so thankful for the friendships that we have & are able to keep up with, though we don't live close to each other. I also love to see them loving on our little man. It is a blessing!

Walking in the Name of the Lord

2011-03-10T09:38:00.008-06:00

For all the peoples walk, each in the name of its god,

but we will walk in the name of the Lord our God,

forever & ever.

Micah 4:5

I love flipping through my Bible & reading verses that I have underlined in the past. I've had this Bible for at least 5 years now, & there are a lot of verses that have been significant during that time. I came across this verse above this morning. For me, it is one that I could easily read & agree with it & the truth it holds, then move on. But in the midst of the things I was thinking about this morning, I really read it - I will walk in the name of the Lord my God. This scripture points out that all people walk in the name of a god, whether they know it or not. Some people profess to be Christians, but do not "walk in the name of the Lord."

For our family, in this time, it could be easy to walk in the name of planning - the name of financial security - the name of good intentions - even the name of trying to make God's plan happen. Ah! We could so easily be deceived to think that we're doing what is good & right. But what does it really mean to "walk in the name of the Lord?" Seeking to know Him & to serve His purposes on earth - Matthew 6:33. & verse 34! "Do not be anxious about tomorrow... sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Don't concern myself with the future. As someone who desires to know Jesus & walk with Him, I am called to TRUST His plans for me. & I do not get to approve of them first! But I know that His plans for me are good (Jere. 29:11) & that He will provide for our needs - back to Matt. 6:33 - when I seek Him & His purposes first, "all of [the things that I need] will be added unto [me]." & He doesn't need my help!!

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer & supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts & your minds in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:4-7

"Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, & we cannot take anything out of the world."

1 Timothy 6:6

"And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists & that He rewards those who seek Him."

Hebrews 11:6

So... walk in faith (I could go into what it means to do that, but I only have so much time!). Trust Him with our needs, our future, our desires. I pray that He gives us the desire for what He has for us, then the patience & faith to wait for His provision. I pray that He gives me the desire & ability to please Him in my actions, thoughts, & intentions, & to walk in obedience to what He has for us, "giving thanks in all circumstances" (1 Thess. 5:18).

I rest in this promise:

"Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely, & may your whole spirit & soul & body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it."

1 Thess. 5:23-24

The Hospital Bag

2011-03-04T16:22:00.008-06:00

If you are a male, or if the thought of having a baby freaks you out, skip this post. For reals.

So I have several friends who are pregnant, & I wanted to write a post that would've been helpful for me in the last few weeks of pregnancy regarding -

THE HOSPITAL BAG.

Dun, dun dunnn.

What to pack, what to pack? That is the question. I'll answer what was in my bag (& some comments about why), so take it for what you will! Take my birth experience into consideration too; these things may not be necessary for everyone.

For you

* Comfy pants/shorts: like yoga pants, or goucho pants - you want to have plenty of space to be retaining water, & not getting anywhere close to where you just experienced much damage! I wore these when I left the hospital, & for a couple of weeks at home.

* Nursing bras, loose tops

* Warm socks: I heard you might need these for the hot/cold phenom, but in labor I didn't wear them, then afterward I was SO HOT I never put them on.

* Nursing gown: I stayed in a hospital gown from the time we got there until 36 hrs after Elliot was born due to not being able to stay standing up without passing out so no shower, but after I showered, a nursing gown was a very comfy option for lounging. You want to be able to hike it up when you're laying in bed so that you don't bleed on it!

*House shoes: I barely got out of bed while I was there, but did use them.

* Bigger-than-normal undies: I didn't wear them in the hospital but did when I got home. You want to make sure they wouldn't be right where a C-section scar would be, just in case. But in case you don't like the mesh underwear the hospital provides (I did!), take your own.

* Your own pillows w/ a non-white pillow case: it's nice to have them to sleep on, & you want to be able to identify them.

* Towels: their towels are like hand towels. Bring your own!

* Toiletries: shampoo, soap, etc. I didn't shave (sorry if that is gross but I don't care), didn't plan on blow-drying my hair (seriously, just gave birth, don't expect me to look good!).

* Breast pump: you never know if you might need it. You can leave it in the car & just send your hubby to run out to get it if you need it.

* Nursing pillow: we brought it but I am not sure I used it? I think I just used a normal pillow while there.

* Birthing ball (exercise ball): I did use it but it definitely didn't help my contractions, so I won't take it next time for sure.

* Chapstick: your lips get dry!

* Nursing pads & cream (though the hospital will probably provide a cream sample)

* I-pod: we brought a dock too so we could play classical music during labor. I definitely didn't pay attention to it the whole time, but it was nice to have something playing in the background - I wouldn't have liked silence.

* Computer: good for loading pictures for long hospital stays (like our 4 days!)

* Snacks/flavored water: definitely came in handy for labor! & good for in between meals.

* Baby book: I took it but never pulled it out. We just stored away the things we wanted to keep for it, like the footprints & other documents.

Hubby

* Shirts/shorts/socks/underwear

* Towel

* Snacks

* Toiletries

* Camera: Josh was all over the place after Elliot was born, & I was useless

* Blanket: might be a good idea if you are boiling hot after delivery & want the room freezing cold

* Cell phone charger

Baby

* Pacifiers: we took I think 4 different kinds, which I am glad because the one that everyone said he would LOVE, he did not take! So glad we took more.

* Homecoming outfit

*Clothes: I don't think this is necessary, because they supply little shirts & hats for baby. You may want to take socks to put on their hands, or feet when they aren't swaddled.

* Receiving blanket: good for the ride home since the hospital provides them while you are there.

* Car seat

What you'll need at home

I've already mentioned a couple of things that you need (comfy pants, big undies), but here are some other things. I took them to the hospital but they provided what I needed, however it was good that I already had them at home because they definitely got used!

* Big, heavy pads: for those first few days, you need the big heavy-duty kind. (Not to mention, it was really great I had these at home when my water broke! Ew!)

* Lighter pads & pantiliners: need these for when "things" slow down a bit

* Witch-hazel pads, Dermaplast spray: while you are in the hospital, ask the nurses for an ice pack (or at my hospital, they froze wet diapers), then in this order from the bottom-up, make this combo: ice pack/diaper, witch-hazel pads, Dermaplast spray (in the mesh undies) = ahhhhh. Great relief when you HURT! When you get home, you should be okay without the ice pack, but still use the WH pads & spray on top of pads.

* Ibuprofen: my midwives provided me a prescription for hospital-grade ibuprofen (w/ 3 refills!) so I didn't need it, BUT you will if you don't get the heavy hospital stuff.

* Stool softeners: yep.

Some people use the sitz bath thing, & your hospital may provide you one, but I never did. Seemed like a lot of trouble... I probably should have used it though.

I think that's it... luckily all of this not fun stuff comes with an adorable little baby. :-)

I'm. So.

2011-02-23T10:09:00.003-06:00

Tired.

Elliot is sleeping so well at night (he was sleeping completely through the night, but now most nights he wakes up once in between 4-6 am to eat, which I'm okay with since he could stand to gain a little weight), so it's certainly not that I'm not getting enough sleep. But I seriously feel like I could sleep for days. &/or that I need a coffee IV hooked up to me, pole & everything. & I'm not one of those coffee addicts who jokes about "needing their coffee," but seriously... so tired. I was talking to a woman at church the other week about it, & she said that I need these 9 months post-partum to get back to my normal self. That my body needs that time to recover. Well, that makes sense! I have been walking around thinking I should be completely back to normal now. Heck, I thought I'd be back to my regular routine 2 weeks after delivery (psshh!! not sure where I got that idea). She had a baby 10 months ago & is just now feeling normal again. Phew, okay, so there are better days ahead!

Oh, & don't joke about how I'm going to be tired for the next 18 years, or that I'll have a messy house for the next 18 years, or that I have forever lost my brain. My mom managed to be a mom & volunteer for a million organizations when I was a kid, as well as keep our house tidy & cook dinner without seeming to go insane, so I know it can be done!

Maybe I should write a "Things You Should Not Feel Free to Ask, Say, or Advise People in Regard to Parenting" post. (For my "TYSNFFTASOAPIRT Pregnancy & Babies" post, see here.) Hmm, there's a thought....

K, baby's awake, gotta go! :-)

Welcome, month five!!

2011-02-10T08:54:00.004-06:00

(Okay, this can be confusing, but Elliot is entering his fifth month of life, so he is just now four months old - so when I say "Welcome, month five" that means, he is in his fifth month, not that he IS five months old... k.)

I feel like Elliot has changed so much in the past week or two! Let me tell you all about it. :-)

In regard to sleep, month four was a tough one. Elliot had been sleeping 6-7 hrs, waking up to eat, then sleeping another 4 hours every night, like clockwork. Then the "four month sleep regression" hit, & predictability went out the window, as did good sleep. There was no telling when, or how many times, he would wake up. Basically, during the sleep regression period, babies are learning how to sleep like big people instead of like newborns, which includes being able to put yourself back to sleep after waking up. So for about a month, every time he woke up, he'd need his paci & perhaps some shushing to get back to sleep. There were, I think, three nights that he woke up 6-8 times. AH! Finally, about a week ago, he started waking up only two or three times, & enter this week: Sunday & Monday night, he woke up once for his paci & went all night without eating, then Tuesday & Wednesday night, slept all night without waking up at all. WOW! What a difference it makes, sleeping all night without waking up - I'm talking about me! It's been a full year since I started waking up during the night to pee, then to tend to a newborn, so it's pretty nice to be sleeping again.

Also about a week ago, he started talking more. He has been pretty non-verbal up until now, just choosing to check things out around him without contributing a lot. Now he's just a little talker! He lays in his play yard & talks, talks, talks. I'll hold him & he'll look up at me & talk, talk, talk. I'll talk back to him & he'll smile, then talk some more. If only I knew what he was saying! It's like all of a sudden, he's just a little person, part of the world, & not just a little newborn. Sigh. Soon enough, he'll get teeth & be eating real food & sitting up then CRAWLING... oh I can't take it. Slow down, little guy!!!

Aggies & sicknesses

2011-02-01T19:47:00.007-06:00

A lot has happened in the past couple of weeks! We went back to the Motherland (College Station, of course), Elliot got a staph infection, I got food poisoning at my birthday dinner... what fun! Well, I guess only one of those things was fun.

We hadn't been back to College Station in a long time, which is not okay, so we went back for a basketball game & tailgating (which was really just hanging out inside of an RV; no tailgate involved). I love driving into that town... seeing the sign off of Highway 21 - "College Station - Texas A&M University," rounding the corner to see Kyle Field & the smokestacks appear above the trees, passing Research Park (our park, where we had many dates, including our first date & the our engagement)... all the memories come flooding back. Such a good time. I love that all my memories of those four years are good ones.

Naturally, we went back to Sweet Eugene's for a java shake... twice. :-) Oreo & vanilla. The vanilla was superb, just as good as any I had while studying for hours on end in that place. Sigh.

The day before we left for CS, I noticed that the tip of one of Elliot's fingers was really red. It didn't look like an ingrown fingernail, & it was hot, so we took him to an urgent care clinic Saturday morning. Staph infection sounds scary, & it is really contagious, but we got him on some antibiotics (that turned his poop green, like he had eaten grass... gross) & they cleared it right up.

Then it was my birthday! I love my birthday, & I usually enjoy making a big deal of it & taking advantage of my birthday... & birthday week... & birthday month... but this year, baby + work kept me so occupied, my birthday almost just slipped by. What a shame. But Josh baked me a funfetti cake (my favesies) & took me out to dinner Saturday night, where I had clam chowder & fish & chips... let's just say I won't be eating clam chowder again for a while. I can't be too sure, but I'm banking on the yucks coming from those big chunks of clam. The next morning at church, my stomach started hurting, so we went home & I had some soup & went to take a nap, & woke up with chills. We thought it was the flu, but the fever was gone Monday morning & I felt significantly better. I am still getting queasy now & then, which probably means I should not eat cake & enchiladas....

So, there is our life as of late. That, plus a lot of work, that will hopefully slow down very soon. I need to clean my house!

(I am fully aware I could have just spent this time cleaning instead of blogging. But who does that??)

Oh how He loves us!

2011-01-20T16:51:00.004-06:00

Wow... I didn't think when I wrote that last blog post, that hundreds of people would read it! My friend Heather works for VOM, & sent my blog along to the newsletter department because they had received so much negative feedback from that picture I wrote about. & somehow it ended up on their facebook page!

This was a huge blessing to me... last night, I met with the woman who is discipling me, & I was explaining that yes, I find much eternal purpose in being a wife & a mom, but sometimes I wonder how the Lord wants to use me outside of that. I believe that He does, but sometimes I don't see it. I mentioned that sometimes I feel like a failure, because I don't have this certain character trait or that natural ability. But the Lord revealed to me through this, that He can use me right where I am. A simple wife & mom, blogging about our boring lives & occasionally about what Jesus is teaching me - He can use something like that for His glory & for the encouragement of the saints. Amazing! I am so thankful for that word from Him. Continue in the way that the Spirit leads me, & He will use me, as the part of the Body that I am.

I love when He chooses to show us... "I do love you... you are valuable... & significant in My plan..."

Beauty

2011-01-17T12:40:00.005-06:00

I receive a monthly newsletter from The Voice of the Martyrs (if you don't receive it, I recommend you contact them to do so - it's free - www.persecution.com). This month, the cover is a picture of a woman, Yubelina, from Indonesia. She was burned in an attack by Muslims on her Christian village.

Her skin is splotchy & ranges in color from light brown to red to white. Much of it is leathery. Her nose is disfigured. She has a purplish-colored patch of skin in between her bottom lip & the bottom of her chin. Her upper lip is peeling. Her left eye is white & red; her pupil is clearly no longer able to see.

But she is smiling. A huge smile. Joy radiates from her. Why?? She must receive stares. Children are probably afraid of her. The world would call her damaged. Ugly.

Yubelina has figured out where her identity lies. She is a treasured child of the King. She has traded "a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning" (Isa. 61:3). Her smile reveals Jesus.

Yubelina is beautiful. I guarantee she has a joy, a contentment, that no name-brand, trendy clothing; no perfect haircut & makeup; no flawless skin or toned body can bring.

I want to be beautiful like that. I want my face to shine like Moses, because I have been in the presence of God. I want my treasure to lie in heaven & not in the tangible, the material. I want to be joyful & content & full of peace.

Jesus, make it so.

"I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall exult in my God, for He has clothed me with the garments of salvation; He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." Isaiah 61:10

Rainy Saturday

2011-01-15T16:32:00.003-06:00

It is really yucky out. It's been in the 30's & 40's almost all week, which is REALLY cold for San Antonio, & today it is drizzly too. Yuck.

Elliot has a cold :-( so he has been feeling snotty, sneezing & coughing & sleeping a lot. It is pretty sad.

These two things happened to coincide with our one free Saturday of the month. We had decided to work on the house today, specifically the study, cleaning it out & organizing. We have two old computers that we are in the process of clearing so we can donate them, & I have sorted through all my work stuff, thrown away lots of old unnecessary papers... ah, it feels good to throw things away! Josh & I have also had some work to do today for our jobs, so all in all, it's been a fairly productive, inside kind of day.

We went to the doctor yesterday for Elliot's cough, as a perfectly normal nervous first-time mother would, & found out his weight is 13 pounds, 7 ounces. I measured him today at 25.25 inches. That makes him at the 78th percentile for height, & the 41st percentile for weight. Our little guy is looking long & lean! He's 3 months on Tuesday... crazy.

That's all for now, just thought I'd check in... back to being productive!

Time for Normal

2011-01-05T15:05:00.004-06:00

Today is a big fat *sigh* to me. In a good way. Finally, Christmas gift buying is over, traveling is over (for a couple weeks, anyways!), busyness is over... phewwwww. This week, I have time to clean my house, how about that??

I am feeling thankful for newness today, as well. Yes, it's a new year, but that is just a coincidence for me - for me, it's getting back to normal like I mentioned, but also I feel like I'm getting a new start with things - back to eating well, back to exercise (at least, I have high hopes for this one starting soon, I just need to find the time), & back to spending time with the Lord in the morning with my cup of coffee. It's these things that are just good to me! & a good mixture of busyness & laziness have kept those things from being the norm lately. Since Elliot was born, I have felt like I've been in a bit of a funk, unable to get to normal routine & do anything more than the things that were pressing. All I did was take care of Elliot (because his life kind of depends on me), do laundry (because we need clothes), grocery shop (because we need food), & work (because I had a deadline). But in a less pressing way, I NEED to spend time with God every day, in the Word & in prayer; I NEED to exercise; I NEED to be purposeful about eating well. These are not New Year's resolutions to me - this is getting back to normal. This is starting fresh, full of grace. Oh yeah, & the desire to fit into my jeans again, sooner than later. :-)

We rang in the New Year in North Carolina at Zac & Cara's wedding. It was really fun to spend time with them, & their reception was a blast. Elliot did really well the first 3 days, then all that lack of napping & too much car-seating caught up with him, & he didn't do so well the day we came home. But today he's back to normal, sleeping lots. Anyways, Zac & Cara have moved overseas, so no vacations with them for at least a year & a half, but they will resume one day, & until then, plenty of Skype dates.

This month is filling up with fun, less stressful plans, like a Cotton Bowl party Friday, going to College Station, & my birthday :-) . It'll be a good month.

11 Rules School Won't Teach You About Marriage

2010-12-17T10:48:00.003-06:00

I received this in an email from FamilyLife, & thought I'd share... good stuff!

Rule 1: Marriage isn’t about your happiness. It’s not about you getting all your needs met through another person. Practicing self-denial and self-sacrifice, patience, understanding, and forgiveness are the fundamentals of a great marriage. If you want to be the center of the universe, then there’s a much better chance of that happening if you stay single.

Rule 2: Getting married gives a man a chance to step up and finish growing up. The best preparation for marriage for a single man is to man up now and keep on becoming the man God created him to be.

Rule 3: It’s okay to have one rookie season, but it’s not okay to repeat your rookie season. You will make rookie mistakes in your first year of marriage; the key is that you don’t continue making those same mistakes in year five, year 10, or year 20 of your marriage.

Rule 4: It takes a real man to be satisfied with and love one woman for a lifetime. And it takes a real woman to be content with and respect one man for a lifetime.

Rule 5: Love isn’t a feeling. Love is commitment. It’s time to replace the “D word”—divorce—with the “C word”—commitment. Divorce may feel like a happy solution, but it results in long-term toxic baggage. You can’t begin a marriage without commitment. You can’t sustain one without it either. A marriage that goes the distance is really hard work. If you want something that is easy and has immediate gratification, then go shopping or play a video game.

Rule 6: Online relationships with old high school or college flames, emotional affairs, sexual affairs, and cohabiting are shallow and illegitimate substitutes for the real thing. Emotional and sexual fidelity in marriage is the real thing.

Rule 7: Women spell romance R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P. Men spell romance S-E-X. If you want to speak romance to your spouse, become a student of your spouse and enroll in a lifelong “Romantic Language School,” and become fluent in your spouse’s language.

Rule 8: During courtship, opposites attract. After marriage, opposites can repel each another. You married your spouse because he/she is different. Differences are God’s gift to you to create new capacities in your life. Different isn’t wrong, it’s just different.

Rule 9: Pornography robs men of a real relationship with a real person and poisons real masculinity, replacing it with the toxic killers of shame, deceit, and isolation. Pornography siphons off a man’s drive for intimacy with his wife. Marriage is not for wimps. Accept no substitutes.

Rule 10: As a home is built, it will reflect the builder. Most couples fail to consult the Master Architect and His blueprints for building a home. Instead a man and woman marry with two sets of blueprints (his and hers). As they begin building, they discover that a home can’t be built from two very different sets of blueprints.

Rule 11: How you will be remembered has less to do with how much money you make or how much you accomplish and more with how you have loved and lived.

Quick update!

2010-12-14T18:10:00.006-06:00

Oh my, I have been horrible at updating this thing. If you still read this, way to go you, & my apologies for being a blogging loser!

Elliot is 8 weeks old as of yesterday. He has gotten so big already (almost 13 lbs & 23.5 inches). He smiles lots at me & Josh & occasionally at other people. He sleeps from about 10pm - 7/8am, & usually wakes up every 4 hrs, but a couple times has gone 6ish hours, which was awesome! He is content & happy most of the time, unless he's tired, & he's not a huge fan of being in his carseat unless he's sleeping so he can get fussy then too.

I am loving cloth diapering! He's getting to the size that the one-size pocket diapers I have are starting to fit, which is fun because I have so many cute ones! I think I'm going to prefer them over the other types, though only time will tell. Up until this point, we have been using prefolds & covers, which is more the old-school type of diaper, but I must say, they hold in those pees & poops - I have only had one poo leak!

I have been busy lately - besides the normal feeding/changing/holding Elliot, we have had a lot of appointments (thrush/mastitis - yuck :-( ) & have been doing Christmasy things, which explains the lack of blogging! My house has taken a definite hit to my busyness, & I'm working on it. We are falling into a more predictable schedule & I know life will slow down soon. Plus, it's so hard to be "productive" when I would much rather just hold my baby! So we are working out that balance. I am also inching back into work; I have been so blessed to have been able to take this much time off. I am thankful to work for an amazing group of people who value the role of a mother! & so thankful to be able to work part-time from home so I can still be with Elliot.

Okay, time to go check things off that pesky to-do list!

Elliot's Birth Story

2010-11-04T16:07:00.006-05:00

Elliot is napping, so I suppose I should blog!

I should warn you, if you don't care to know things about labor & delivery, don't read below. I won't go into too much detail, but either way, read at your own risk! Oh & considering how long it is, I'll be impressed if anyone reads it at all. :-)

So Saturday the 16th, we went to the pumpkin patch in Medina (like I had told you we would) to try to walk Elliot out. It didn't work, but we had fun. That night we went to bed around 10 (which is late for us!) & I woke up just after midnight & felt like I had to go to the bathroom (which wasn't unusual), but as I got up I felt like something was different... then my water broke. (I had NO DOUBT my water broke, either!) After yelling at Josh & "dealing" with the situation, if you will, I called the on-call midwife to tell her. Due to certain factors, she advised us to go ahead & head to the hospital instead of waiting until morning. So we got showered & packed up & headed out. We got to the hospital around 2 am.

I should go ahead & say, we had taken Bradley classes & were desiring to have a birth with no intervention. I planned to have no IVs (I hate needles), no meds, just a natural birth. We had great midwives that completely supported this, & were at a hospital that has more natural births than most in San Antonio. So now that you know that, we continue.

I hadn't been contracting this whole time. Once we got to the hospital & they drew blood (ugh), got us all registered, & got me on the monitor, we saw I was having small contractions every 5-7 minutes. But since they weren't strong, we decided to sleep while we could. Josh fell asleep fairly quickly & got maybe 3 hours of sleep, & I eventually fell asleep & got maybe 1.5 hours. When we woke up, I wasn't contracting noticeably at all, so Josh ran out to get us breakfast. That morning we walked, bounced on the birth ball, rocked in a chair, etc. to try to get contractions going. Nothing worked. Around noon, our midwife told us we had two options: we could continue to wait & hope that contractions started, but we needed to have labor started in another 12 hours (due to risk of infection), or we could induce sooner. She has seen many natural births & felt that I probably wasn't going to start contracting on my own any time soon. Josh & I talked... this was really frustrating, to think of inducing when we wanted no interventions & had been told that induction most often leads to an epidural as well because of the intensity & quick progression of labor. But we felt inducing soon would be better than waiting until we had been up for basically a day before starting labor, so after 2 pm (& after eating lunch & walking some more), we started Pitocin.

When we started Pitocin, I was checked & was at 1.5 cm dilated, & 70% effaced. I was really discouraged that I had barely dilated at this point. Contractions started to hurt about an hour later. By 7 pm, I was hurting really badly. Our midwife came in & stayed for the rest of my labor, helping me through contractions & rubbing my lower back. I wanted to be checked again to see how I was progressing; because it hurt so bad, I wanted to know where I was in the whole process. I was at 3 cm. THREE! In almost 5 hours, I had only dilated 1.5 more centimeters. Somehow I made it another hour, & the pain was worse, so I demanded to get checked again, saying if I wasn't progressing much still, I wanted pain meds. I couldn't imagine the pain getting worse, or dealing with it for several more hours. I remember saying, "I just don't care anymore!" But at the same time, I knew that the things I was saying had to mean I was in transition (as we had learned in our classes). I was at 6 cm at this point - I had dilated 3 cm in one hour. Josh was so encouraging & was an awesome labor coach. He knew the goal we had set & tried to remind me why we were doing this.

(By this time, I was definitely out of it. Sometimes I knew what I was saying & sometimes I didn't. I honestly wondered at times if this was actually happening - was this a dream? Was I saying those words, or was that someone else? I think that I had to separate myself from what was happening in order to handle it.)

The next 2 hours were a blur to me (for the reasons I just mentioned). I was exhausted at this point & was actually falling asleep in the 60 seconds between contractions. Around 10 pm, it was time to push. So it had taken me almost 5 hours to dilate from 1.5 to 3 cm, then 3 hours to dilate from 3 to 10 cm.

I'll spare you the details of pushing, but I pushed for 2.5 hours - this was the hardest workout of my life!! Basically, Elliot's head didn't really mold into that lovely cone head that so many babies have, so his perfectly round 35 cm head didn't exactly fly out (in fact, I heard a nurse in the room saying, "Man, he just doesn't want to come out!" Awesome.) Oh, speaking of, there is a problem with that math - 35 cm head, & full dilation is 10 cm - not cool! Anyways, for this reason recovery has been a little hard on me, as you can imagine!

I was so out of it when he was born - they put him on me & I remember thinking, "...he's purple." It took some time for me to come back mentally, plus my eyes had been shut for a few hours, I was told (that whole separating myself thing, I guess). It was 24 hours from water breaking to delivery - Elliot was born at 12:32 am on Monday morning the 18th (his due date!), at a whopping 9 lbs 5 oz, 20.25 inches long. I was so tired. We got moved up to our post-partum room & slept for maybe a couple hours before morning.

When the nurse took me to the bathroom for the first time after delivery, I kind of passed out in the bathroom & Josh thought I was dying. Oops. My heart rate was so high it wasn't showing up on the machine, then it dropped to 164(!), so I got poked with MORE needles for an IV to be pumped with fluids, had to be put on oxygen, etc. Oh boy. I severely needed rest & food! We didn't really sleep until that night though... a good 44ish hours after water breaking.

SO, labor & delivery was not really what we had expected. Things happened that we didn't have control over. But we had an awesome midwife, great nurses, were in a wonderful hospital, & I had the best labor coach, best friend, best supporter ever. So though it's not something I care to do again (Pitocin-driven contractions & hours of pushing), we are pleased with the way things turned out, & we have the cutest little guy ever as a result. He was worth it!

I have a couple other blogs I want to write, so hopefully those will come soon. :-)

waiting...

2010-10-15T14:41:00.006-05:00

As it turns out, this waiting thing isn't very fun. I am very thankful that my job has slowed down significantly so I have plenty of time to rest, & I know that when Elliot comes I won't need to worry about something not getting done. I'm pretty easily bored these days. I try to get out of the house every day, if just to run one errand, & my house has stayed pretty neat & clean (not spotless, because I have no desire to deep-clean my house, which is a bummer), but the days crawl. Every morning when I journal during my time with Jesus (SOAP anyone??) & I write down the date, I wonder, will I go into labor today? How does the next day sound as a birthday?

waiting, waiting...

The practice I go to does not induce before 42 weeks unless there is a medical reason to do so. So the latest Elliot will be born is November 1st (eek! hoping for October). In about a week & a half, at just over 41 weeks, I'll start the non-stress testing if he's not here yet, so they can monitor him & make sure he's still doing well in there. Other than that, the plan is to wait. Wait. Wait.

I don't do so well with this unplanned stuff, you know.

I do have a couple of things to look forward to, which helps. I am excited to head out to the pumpkin patch tomorrow. We went a couple years ago & loved walking out in the cool weather with all the pumpkins & eating caramel apples. I love fall. It's my favorite season by far.

Zac & Cara will be in on Monday, & we are excited to spend time with them before they move even further away. :-( Even if they don't get to meet Elliot, I'm glad we'll get to see them.

I do pray, though, that this time will not go by wasted. I want to suck every bit of what God has for me out of this period of waiting. I want to catch every lesson, I want to enjoy spending time with Him before I have an infant vying for my time. I am enjoying every bit of time with Josh, & I am trying to enjoy the slowness in my schedule. I don't want to wish time away. So if you pray for me, for us, pray that we will grow in this time, & take hold of the things available to us, specifically peace & joy.

Now I shall go watch the Ellen show with a caffeine-free Diet Dr. Pepper. :-)

& I'll keep waiting.

Week 39

2010-10-13T14:10:00.002-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

Mini watermelon (weight)

Size

20 inches, over 7 lbs

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

Still.. just getting fatter. Elliot, you can do that out here you know!

Best Moment this Week

Hmm... it's been a pretty dull week. We had fun with some friends at dinner last weekend, & we've had some good times together, taking walks, watching movies, & last night got what we assume to be the last snow cone of the season. Josh & I are enjoying our time together.

Gender

BOY! Elliot James.

Movement

Same...

Food Craving

This week's fruits: apples, peaches, strawberries. I've had chips & salsa several times in the last week too, trying to get him moving, which it does, but not out of my belly. Bummer.

Sleep

I have been trying to take naps every day, at least a little one, so that I'm consistently rested, or as much as I can be.

What I am looking forward to

Tonight starts Josh's basketball league with the church, which I'm excited about; I love going to his games (in college it was basketball & football, then he's played softball a couple times here too). We also decided to make plans to go to a pumpkin patch on Saturday; I told him I need something fun to look forward to so we're not just sitting around waiting. So I am looking forward to that. A caramel apple sounds real good right about now.

Symptoms

A little nausea, exhausted, sore back & shoulders, not sleeping well, Braxton Hicks, arthritis hands.

To-Do List & Progression - ALL IS DONE!

-Wash clothes newborn - 3 mos.

Status: done! I might wash the rest of his clothes just for good measure.

-Wash diapers

Status: prefolds & covers washed; pocket & AIO diapers & wipes all washed.

-Get bookcase done

Status: done!

-Hang fabric circles, other decor

Status: Fabric circles hung! A few things have to wait until the bookcase is done, which I have no control over, so I'm going to check this off the list to make myself feel better. :-)

-Pack hospital bag

Status: packed!

-Install car seat

Status: car washed & car seat base installed!

-Make room in kitchen cabinets for bottles, sippy cups, plates, etc.

Status: Done!

-Make up crib w/ mattress pad & sheet

Status: done!

-Buy home coming outfit

Status: done!

I thought of another reason...

2010-10-11T13:40:00.002-05:00

...my clothes keep getting tighter & I don't want to buy any more!!

The Reasons Elliot Should Come Now

2010-10-08T13:51:00.003-05:00

(or within the next week or so. The first reason is really the only not selfish one. :-) )

1. So Zac & Cara can meet him when they come on the 18th - I mean, they're flying in from DC, it's only courteous!

2. So we can carve a pumpkin outside with him.

3. So we can take him to our church's Fall Festival.

4. So I can go to our church's women's retreat for the day.

5. So we can enjoy the perfect fall weather together (he should come now while it's still a smidge warm).

6. Because the earlier he comes, the earlier I can fit into my jeans again, & this needs to happen before it gets warm!! (I dream of wearing my jeans again... yes I do believe this is the most selfish reason on the list.)

7. Because why WOULDN'T I want him to come early???? I mean, he's baked for 39 weeks, he's probably nice & fluffy & ready for the world by now.

But if he doesn't come early, that's okay too... but I am ready to see him!

Week 38

2010-10-06T15:50:00.002-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

Leek (length)

Size

19.5 inches, about 6.8 lbs

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

At this point it's basically the same... he's ready for the outside world, just getting fatter the longer he's in there!

Best Moment this Week

Josh finished the bookcase & now his room is complete!

Gender

BOY! Elliot James.

Movement

Same old thing. He's pretty much hanging around in the same spot now, & not even switching sides like he used to do pretty much several times a day.

Food Craving

This week's fruits: apples, black grapes, peaches, bananas, strawberries. I have been chugging orange juice like crazy, too. I craved it in the first trimester, took a second trimester break, & now I drink at least one glass every morning.

Sleep

Well... I hate to be negative but... ugh. I have no idea why people keep saying, "Enjoy your sleep before baby gets here!" For reals? Did these people really sleep well in the last month? I know I won't sleep a ton when he's here, but I know I will sleep better than I am now, because it's pretty bad!

What I am looking forward to

LABOR! He can come now...!

Symptoms

A little nausea, exhausted, sore back & shoulders, not sleeping well, Braxton Hicks, arthritis hands.

To-Do List & Progression

-Wash clothes newborn - 3 mos.

Status: done! I might wash the rest of his clothes just for good measure.

-Wash diapers

Status: prefolds & covers washed; pocket & AIO diapers & wipes all washed.

-Get bookcase done

Status: done!

-Hang fabric circles, other decor

Status: Fabric circles hung! A few things have to wait until the bookcase is done, which I have no control over, so I'm going to check this off the list to make myself feel better. :-)

-Pack hospital bag

Status: packed!

-Install car seat

Status: car washed & car seat base installed!

-Make room in kitchen cabinets for bottles, sippy cups, plates, etc.

Status: Done!

-Make up crib w/ mattress pad & sheet

Status: done!

-Buy home coming outfit

Status: done!

Week 37

2010-09-30T08:17:00.002-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

Swiss chard (weight)

Size

Over 19 inches, about 6 1/3 lbs

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

He is now full term & his lungs are likely now able to fully adjust to life outside the womb!

Best Moment this Week

Josh & I got to have a really nice dinner last week to celebrate the day we started dating/got engaged, & I got to meet up with 3 friends during the day last week & Josh & I hung out with two of our couple friends Friday & Saturday night. I am thankful for the relationships in my life!

Gender

BOY! Elliot James.

Movement

Movement is still the same. He did figure out the other night how to kick me in the ribs... that hurt. Luckily he hasn't made it a habit. My midwife does think that he is engaged at this point which is good considering I only have a little over 2 weeks to go!

Food Craving

This week's fruits: apples, grapes, peaches, bananas. Boring.

Sleep

My body has started waking up around 4 or 5 & not wanting to go back to sleep. So I have started getting up for about an hour then going back to bed, because I would not be able to function waking up that early!

What I am looking forward to

I feel like we are finally at a point where we are just waiting for him to come. Work has slowed down a bit for me, & we have no plans that can't be adjusted. So... let's go, little guy!

Symptoms

A little nausea, exhausted, sore back & shoulders, not sleeping well, Braxton Hicks, arthritis hands. Apparently my weight has FINALLY stabilized so I'm not gaining anymore, & actually lost a pound this week... AWESOME! I know that is a vain thing to be excited about while pregnant, but it's nice to know my body just needed a certain amount & once it got it, it stopped gaining. Phew!

To-Do List & Progression

-Wash clothes newborn - 3 mos.

Status: done! I might wash the rest of his clothes just for good measure.

-Wash diapers

Status: prefolds & covers washed; pocket & AIO diapers & wipes all washed.

-Get bookcase done

Status: in progress, hoping it'll be done this weekend

-Hang fabric circles, other decor

Status: Fabric circles hung! A few things have to wait until the bookcase is done, which I have no control over, so I'm going to check this off the list to make myself feel better. :-)

-Pack hospital bag

Status: packed!

-Install car seat

Status: car washed & car seat base installed!

-Make room in kitchen cabinets for bottles, sippy cups, plates, etc.

Status: Done!

-Make up crib w/ mattress pad & sheet

Status: done!

-Buy home coming outfit

Status: done!

Week 36

2010-09-22T15:14:00.002-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

Crenshaw melon (weight) - I don't know what that is

Size

Over 18.5 inches, about 6 lbs (my midwife says she thinks he's probably about 6.5 lbs now, which is still average)

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

He's shedding most of the downy hair that covered his body, as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that protected his skin during his nine-month amniotic bath. He will be full term on Saturday! (ah!)

Best Moment this Week

Umm... I don't know?? This week has been a blur!

Gender

BOY! Elliot James.

Movement

He's still moving lots, mainly stretching which sticks his bum out near my belly button, then a little foot bump out near my side. He switches sides that his feet are on, but is still staying head down.

Food Craving

This week's fruits: apples, strawberries, grapes, peaches. I made one of my favorite recipes, chicken & rice casserole, last night, & it was delicious. Not a craving... but I thought I'd tell you anyways. :-)

Sleep

Oh, sleep. One day I'll enjoy it again, I hear. Yesterday I woke up at 5:30 with a stomachache & uncomfortable so I just got up. No fun. But I'm sleeping in as much as I can. I can't seem to get enough sleep.

What I am looking forward to

I've got a hot date tomorrow, whoohoo! & this weekend we have the goal to have Elliot's room & the hospital bag completely done. It will feel good to have all that done, so we can just go about normal life & be ready when he comes!

Symptoms

A little nausea, exhausted, sore back & shoulders, not sleeping well, Braxton Hicks, arthritis hands.

To-Do List & Progression

-Wash clothes newborn - 3 mos.

Status: done! I might wash the rest of his clothes just for good measure.

-Wash diapers

Status: prefolds & covers washed; pocket & AIO diapers & wipes all washed.

-Get bookcase done

Status: not done (Josh's job)

-Hang fabric circles, other decor

Status: Fabric circles hung! A few things have to wait until the bookcase is done, which I have no control over, so I'm going to check this off the list to make myself feel better. :-)

-Pack hospital bag

Status: in progress - almost done!

-Install car seat

Status: car washed & car seat base installed!

-Make room in kitchen cabinets for bottles, sippy cups, plates, etc.

Status: Done!

-Make up crib w/ mattress pad & sheet

Status: done!

-Buy home coming outfit

Status: done!

Week 35

2010-09-18T09:44:00.003-05:00

(A little late, since today I'm 36 weeks!)

Fruit/Veggie

Honeydew melon (weight)

Size

Over 18 inches, about 5.25 lbs

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

His kidneys are fully developed now, & his liver can process some waste products. (It also says that he isn't doing somersaults because of his size, but that's not true of this little acrobat in my stomach!)

Best Moment this Week

Kelsy & Tyler got married last weekend! It was a busy week. It also marked the last time we go out of town until Thanksgiving - phew! Now we'll just be doing things around the house & waiting for Elliot to arrive!

Gender

BOY! Elliot James.

Movement

I did get it confirmed at my appt this week that he is head down, however a week ago he flipped to breech for a few hours then flipped back, & has attempted it a couple other times. He's a sneaky little guy!

Food Craving

This week's fruits: apples, bananas, grapes, peaches, white nectarines, grapefruit.

Sleep

Sleep is continually getting less fun. My back, shoulders, hips, & legs hurt; it's harder to flip or get up in the middle of the night; & I have a hard time getting back to sleep each time I get up.

What I am looking forward to

Josh & I have a special anniversary coming up next week. The second most important anniversary, I guess. :-)

Symptoms

A little nausea, exhausted, sore back & shoulders, not sleeping well, Braxton Hicks (continue to get more noticeable), & a new one - it feels like I have arthritis in my hands now. Apparently it's a less common symptom, but it hurts to do normal things now, like grabbing stuff.

To-Do List & Progression

-Wash clothes newborn - 3 mos.

Status: done! I might wash the rest of his clothes just for good measure.

-Wash diapers

Status: prefolds & covers washed; pocket & AIO diapers & wipes all washed - I have a couple of diapers/inserts that get one more wash then they'll be ready to go!

-Get bookcase done

Status: not done (Josh's job)

-Hang fabric circles, other decor

Status: not started

-Pack hospital bag

Status: in progress - some things packed, some things need to get washed, some things will have to wait until right before we head to the hospital (like toiletries)

-Install car seat

Status: car washed & car seat base installed!

-Make room in kitchen cabinets for bottles, sippy cups, plates, etc.

Status: not started

-Make up crib w/ mattress pad & sheet

Status: done!

-Buy home coming outfit

Status: done!

Great Marriage Articles

2010-09-10T15:13:00.001-05:00

Six No-No's for Relating to Your Woman

Six No-No's for Relating to Your Man

Week 34

2010-09-07T17:01:00.002-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

Cantaloupe (weight)

Size

Almost 18 inches, about 4.75 lbs

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

His fat layers - which he'll need to regulate his body temperature once he's born - are filling out, making him rounder. His central nervous system is maturing & his lungs are continuing to mature as well.

Best Moment this Week

Josh & I had a good day & a half together Sunday afternoon & Monday after we both got back in town from our respective places. We got some stuff done in Elliot's room, then just had some fun doing things like test driving Mini Coopers (just for fun) & going to a museum in town, then Josh grilled us some steaks last night. It was just a good time together!

Gender

BOY! Elliot James.

Movement

I'm pretty sure he's now head down (yay!) after flipping a couple of times on Friday. We're not necessarily in the clear, since he can still move around a lot & could easily flip back, but we are really glad to know there is not something that is keeping him from being head down (like the cord or something). I'm thinking he has some pretty long legs too, like his dad, because when he stretches his legs out, his toosh sticks out on one end & his legs on another, so I can gauge the length, & they seem pretty long to me!

Food Craving

This week's fruits: apples, bananas, grapes, peaches. I am getting more picky about food; some things do not settle well in my stomach now, & a lot of things just don't sound good to eat.

Sleep

Yuck. I'm pretty uncomfortable now, & wake up not just to go to the bathroom but to turn over or adjust my back/shoulders that are so sore now, pretty much every day.

What I am looking forward to

I am excited about a couple of upcoming things in the next few weeks, but mainly at this point I'm looking forward to Elliot being here!

Symptoms

A little nausea (it seems water makes me nauseous again now), exhausted, back & shoulders sore, not sleeping well, Braxton Hicks (those are not fun!), easily upset tummy.

To-Do List & Progression

-Wash clothes newborn - 3 mos.

Status: done! I might wash the rest of his clothes just for good measure.

-Wash diapers

Status: prefolds & covers washed; pocket & AIO diapers, wipes not washed

-Get bookcase done

Status: not done (Josh's job)

-Hang fabric circles, other decor

Status: not started

-Pack hospital bag

Status: not started (waiting a couple weeks)

-Install car seat

Status: car washed & car seat base installed!

-Make room in kitchen cabinets for bottles, sippy cups, plates, etc.

Status: not started

-Make up crib w/ mattress pad & sheet

Status: done!

-Buy home coming outfit

Status: done!

Week 33

2010-09-02T09:42:00.004-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

Pineapple (weight)

Size

Over 17 inches, over 4 lbs

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

He's rapidly losing that wrinkled alien look & his skeleton is hardening. The bones in his skull aren't fused together, which allows them to move & slightly overlap, thus making it easier for him to fit through the birth canal.

Best Moment this Week

We got a lot done in Elliot's room Saturday. Josh cleared out the rest of his stuff from Elliot's closet & we got a small shelving system to go in there. I got a few loads of blankets, sheets, towels, etc. washed & folded (& yesterday I started on his diaper stash). We got everything opened & most things put away somewhere, although there is still a lot to do.

Gender

BOY! Elliot James.

Movement

He's still squirming around a lot, but unfortunately still breech. If he doesn't flip by the 21st, an OB will do an external version to manually try to flip him. We are praying hard that he flips, I don't care how, but the sooner the better!!

Food Craving

This week's fruits: apples, strawberries, blackberries, white nectarines, grapes. I find myself these days being more picky about what I want to eat; things are starting to sound not good, not because of an aversion necessarily, but I think I'm getting tired of eating. Yuck.

Sleep

I'm starting not to sleep as well. I have a hard time falling asleep after getting up to go to the bathroom (for the 2nd or 3rd time), usually in the early morning around 3 or 4. I am getting uncomfortable toward when it's time to get up; my hips & back hurt.

What I am looking forward to

This weekend I'm going to run a few fun errands with my mom, as well as hang out in the pool (which is one recommendation for getting babies to flip). I'm looking forward to a bit of down time.

Symptoms

A little nausea, super tired, lower back pain, swelling, thirsty, HOT.

(& I'm going to add a new one... this will help me keep track of what I need to do.)

To-Do List & Progression

-Wash clothes newborn - 3 mos.

Status: not started

-Wash diapers

Status: prefolds & covers washed; pocket & AIO diapers, wipes not washed

-Get bookcase done

Status: not done (Josh's job)

-Hang fabric circles, other decor

Status: not started

-Pack hospital bag

Status: not started (waiting a couple weeks)

-Install car seat

Status: not done, but getting car washed today in order to install (fresh seats, you know)

-Make room in kitchen cabinets for bottles, sippy cups, plates, etc.

Status: not started

I'm sure I'll figure out more things to add to the list... I need to get busy!!

Week 32

2010-08-27T14:15:00.003-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

Large jicama (what on earth?) (weight)

Size

About 16.7 inches, 3.75 lbs (although an ultrasound this week showed him to be closer to 4.5 lbs)

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

He'll gain a third to half of his birth weight over the next 7 weeks. He now has toenails, fingernails, & real hair (which we also saw on the ultrasound).

Best Moment this Week

We received our car seat in the mail yesterday that was bought by our wonderful bff's Zac & Cara. We were so touched to get such a gift from them! Zac has always been one of the most selfless, giving people we have ever known, & Cara fits him so well & we are so excited they're getting married & thankful for their friendship! (Not to mention the car seat is ADORABLE!! We hadn't seen it in person yet, but I love it!)

Gender

BOY! Elliot James.

Movement

I'm not 100% sure on Elliot's position today, but during the past couple of days he has been moving around a lot, often ending up transverse across my belly then making his way back to head-up. But I'm encouraged that he's still moving around so much, so he's not just deciding to get stuck breech. Still praying for a flip & stick! :-)

Food Craving

This week's fruits: peaches, strawberries, honeydew melon, apples, grapefruit.

Sleep

Still SO tired. I am getting sleepy earlier & earlier during the evenings lately. I'm sleeping fairly well still, altho his movements during the night are becoming more noticeable so I wonder when he'll start to keep me up.

What I am looking forward to

I'm getting ready for Elliot to actually be here. I don't even feel like finishing up all the organizing & preparing (not so much nesting going on). But he can stay in there a few more weeks, I'm okay with that.

Symptoms

A little nausea, super tired, lower back pain, swelling, way thirsty all the time.

Week 31

2010-08-20T12:34:00.002-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

Four navel oranges (weight)

Size

Over 16 inches, 3.3 lbs

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

He is heading into a growth spurt. He can turn his head from side to side, & his arms, legs & body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath his skin.

Best Moment this Week

My shower was last weekend. We had friends & family come in from out of town, which I am so thankful for, & I was amazed at the effort that my friends put in to throwing my shower (everything looked so cute!) & at the love that was showered on us. The women at the shower prayed over me & Elliot at the end, & it meant so much to me to hear their words spoken over him.

Gender

BOY! Elliot James.

Movement

I found out at my appointment this week that Elliot is frank breech, so we are praying that he turns head down very soon. We definitely do not want a C-section! He's still moving pretty good, so I don't think he's really running out of room yet.

Food Craving

This week's fruits: white nectarines, strawberries, apples, & mango. I don't think I've really been craving anything in particular....

Sleep

I have been really tired lately. I think it's a mix of normal pregnant tired plus being super busy lately. I'm still sleeping pretty well.

What I am looking forward to

We actually have no plans this weekend, except to do stuff around the house. We haven't had an empty weekend in a couple of months. We'll probably sleep in, then I think Josh is going to work on a bookcase for Elliot's room while I work on organizing all the things we were given last weekend.

Symptoms

A little nausea, super tired, lower back pain, swelling (fingers, feet a little - I can't wear my wedding bands anymore so I'm wearing the fake version now).

Week 30

2010-08-11T15:34:00.002-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

Head of cabbage

Size

About 15.7 inches, almost 3 lbs

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

His eyesight continues to develop, though it's not very keen; even after he's born, he'll keep his eyes closed for a good part of the day. When he does open them, he'll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision (which we learned last night means when I cradle him, he can see to my face - God is so smart!).

Best Moment this Week

We started childbirth classes last night. I think we're really going to enjoy them, though it's going to be a bit overwhelming to have them twice a week for four weeks (then once a week for four more weeks). But I was so impressed by Josh (& I think everyone else there was too!). He asked questions & participated in the exercises we do, even though he looked silly (like everyone did). He really is the best, most supportive husband!

Gender

BOY! Elliot James.

Movement

No change in movement lately. I can't figure out which position he's in, but at this point it will be easier for the midwives to be able to tell at my appointments, since he's getting bigger.

Food Craving

This week's fruits: watermelon, peaches, bananas, apples, pears. I have still been pretty thirsty so I'm trying to drink as much water/Crystal Light as possible.

Sleep

I'm having a little trouble falling asleep some nights, but I'm still sleeping pretty well. Still super tired tho.

What I am looking forward to

My shower is Saturday! We have friends coming in that we haven't seen in a while, so it will be fun to catch up with them. I am so thankful for my friends who are so wonderful to put time & effort until throwing my shower!

Symptoms

Nausea, exhaustion, loose hips, back pain, getting swollen fingers pretty much daily (IT'S SO HOT!).

Week 29

2010-08-04T19:18:00.003-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

Butternut squash (weight)

Size

Over 15 inches, 2.5 lbs

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

His muscles & lungs are continuing to mature, & his head is growing bigger to make room for his developing brain. This trimester, about 250 milligrams of calcium are deposited in his hardening skeleton each day.

Best Moment this Week

On Sunday we got to go to the church we went to in high school in Midland (also where I met Josh & where we got married). I love going back there. It holds a special place in my heart, for all the growth that I experienced in high school: learning how to have a relationship with God, experiencing being part of the Body of Christ, the relationships that are still so important to me.

Also, I had an appointment today & learned that not only did I pass my glucose test, but I passed it with flying colors, & the rest of my blood work looked awesome. It was encouraging to know that eating well & exercising has helped me stay healthy which in turn makes for a healthy baby!

Gender

BOY! Elliot James.

Movement

I found out today that Elliot is indeed transverse, lying horizontally across my stomach. But it was encouraging to know that he was breech at my 20 week appointment, so he is heading in the right direction. Anyways, that being said, I now know that the bump by my belly button is indeed his toosh, & what I thought were his feet are actually his head & hands. The type of movement hasn't changed in the past couple of weeks.

Food Craving

This week's fruits: watermelon, white nectarines, strawberries, blueberries, & oranges. This isn't really a craving, but I have been really thirsty lately, so I have been downing as much water as possible (& when water makes me nauseous, Crystal Light lemonade).

Sleep

The hip & lower back pain still wakes me up around 4 & I am uncomfortable for the remainder of the night. It sure makes getting up easy, because it just doesn't feel good to keep laying down at that point.

What I am looking forward to

Next week we start childbirth classes. They will be twice a week for the rest of August, then once a week for all of September. So we'll be busy, but I think we'll enjoy it. I'll also be 30 weeks Saturday, which seems like a milestone! 10 weeks to go!

Symptoms

Nausea, exhaustion, loose hips, back pain, continued stomach issues (can't eat too much at once, some things make me feel yucky).

Week 28

2010-07-29T10:06:00.003-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

Chinese cabbage (weight)

Size

Almost 15 inches, 2.25 lbs

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

He can blink his eyes, which now sport lashes. With his eyesight developing, he may be able to see the light that filters in through the womb.

Best Moment this Week

This past weekend we went to Dallas & stayed with my uncle & aunt, visited our friends Jason & Paige, & got to see Chase & meet his fiancee Lisa. It was a fun weekend of hanging out, swimming, & eating yummy cupcakes. Oh, & I passed my gestational diabetes test, yay!

Gender

BOY! Elliot James.

Movement

Elliot is definitely getting to the size where his movements are starting to hurt sometimes. He sometimes, though fortunately not too often, kicks hard at my bladder. He pushes up against my belly button which hurts, & I've experienced a little soreness up near my lower ribs. He certainly is becoming a big boy! Last night Josh was talking to him & woke him up, then Josh put his ear on my stomach to hear what was going on in there (apparently he can hear gurgles of movement) & Elliot kicked him in the head several times. Josh loved it. I'm thinking that's the only time he'll love his son kicking him in the head. :-)

Food Craving

This week's fruits: Texas peaches, apples, strawberries, blueberries, pears. A slight craving for queso... we had some awesome queso at the taco place we ate with Jason & Paige at & I practically licked the bowl clean. Mmmm.

Sleep

I have been sleeping pretty hard lately, but definitely not enough hours. I'm so tired this week... I wonder if that is the new normal? Oh but I start to get uncomfortable in my hips toward the early morning hours, so that wakes me up.

What I am looking forward to

Not traveling anymore! We decided to make lots of trips this summer to visit people before life gets a little busier & less predictable, & it has been good & fun but we are worn out & ready to be here & have more relaxing weekends.

Symptoms

Nausea, exhaustion (more so), loose hips, back pain, icky stomach (besides nausea, I get full quickly then feel yucky & certain foods are not sitting well).

Week 27

2010-07-22T17:21:00.003-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

Head of Cauliflower (weight)

Size

14 1/2 inches, almost 2 lbs

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

He's sleeping & waking at regular intervals, opening & closing his eyes, & perhaps even sucking his fingers. With more brain tissue developing, his brain is very active now. While his lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning - with a lot of medical help - if he were born now. (Crazy! He's like a real-live baby now. :-) )

Best Moment this Week

Yesterday was a great day! I started the day off with some prenatal yoga, then after lunch I got an hour & a half prenatal massage. It was great! It hurt pretty bad when she worked hard on my lower back, upper back & shoulders, & they are sore today but I know they needed it. But the rest of it was very relaxing. Then I met up with my friend Angie at a coffee shop (that made a yummy iced decaf latte) & we chatted for 2 1/2 hrs, then my friend Lindsey called on the way home & we talked for over an hour! So it was very relaxing & full of good conversation.

Gender

BOY! Elliot James.

Movement

I can now feel body parts, although it's not always easy to tell which ones they are. Most of the time I think I'm feeling his rump over by my belly button, & the other night Josh & I felt something that was either a foot or an elbow. It's fun. :-)

Food Craving

This week's fruits: white nectarines, watermelon, mango, blueberries, apples, & bananas. I don't think I've really craved anything else.

Sleep

Sleep has been fine, except last night was horrible. For some reason I was waking up every 1 1/2 hrs or so, & was having trouble falling back asleep every time I had to go to the bathroom. I was having lots of dreams & couldn't get comfortable. Yuck. Hopefully that was just a fluke. Josh was gone too so that didn't help. :-(

What I am looking forward to

I feel like we're in the home stretch, which is crazy. From the fact that Elliot could be born now & survive (& look like a normal baby), to being in the last trimester & having my appointments every 2 weeks now instead of 4, I feel like this thing that has dragged along so many months is actually going to wind down! Crazy. We have lots to do! So that doesn't really give anything specific I'm looking forward to... but it is nice to be in this time now.

Symptoms

Nausea, exhaustion, back pain (mainly in my tailbone when I sit), hip pain, less stomach room, cramps when working out too hard, water aversion before about 5 pm every day.

Week 26

2010-07-16T16:37:00.002-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

English Hothouse Cucumber (I've been told these are the wrapped ones at the store)

Size

14 inches, 1.75 lbs

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

He's inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid, which is essential for the development of his lungs. These so-called breathing movements are also good practice for when he's born and takes that first gulp of air. And he's continuing to put on baby fat.

Best Moment this Week

I had a great time in Austin with my friends eating tons of food & talking up a storm, & they threw me a surprise mini-shower & gave me super cute sleepers & books for Elliot, as well as his crib sheets & some bath wash. So sweet of them! Josh also made our shower look like a fancy-pants house shower (seriously, looks so good, I'll put up pictures once everything is cleaned & such). & I won that mei tai! Yay!

Gender

BOY! Elliot James.

Movement

I have started paying attention to where his movements are because I'm thinking he might be lying transverse across my belly instead of up & down. He does some switching around but this is what it seems to be most of the time. So I'm planning on asking about that at my next appointment & doing some exercises to get him head down so he doesn't get stuck like that.

Food Craving

This week's fruits: honeydew, white nectarines, strawberries, bananas, oranges. I had a hankering for queso a couple times this week too.

Sleep

Sleep has been okay. It hasn't changed much since last week. I still occasionally (about 3/4 times a week) wake up on my back & it HURTS bad.

What I am looking forward to

We start our childbirth classes in about 3 weeks. I know that is a weird thing to look forward to, but I'm more looking forward to feeling prepared & equipped for the whole ordeal. Plus I like to learn. Does that make me nerdy??

Symptoms

Nausea (I think it's coming back, it feels the same as the first trimester onset), exhaustion, back pain (though not as bad as last week), hip pain, less stomach room, having a harder time working out so I am trading one of my four workouts a week for prenatal yoga. It'll probably soon become two workouts. I think I need to start working out longer & less intensely. I'm definitely feeling third-trimesterish!

The TYSNFFTASOAPIRTPAB Post

2010-07-12T18:26:00.004-05:00

That is, the "Things You Should Not Feel Free to Ask, Say, or Advise People in Regard to Pregnancy and Babies" Post.

The things on this list come from personal experience, so this is certainly not an all-inclusive list - I'm sure all women who have been or currently are pregnant could add to it. That also means that it may not apply in the next pregnant woman's life, as in it may not bother them, so take this for what it is - just my opinion. :-)

1. Asking "So when are you going to get pregnant?" or any version of said question (start trying, have a baby, etc.)

Okay, I used to be a person who felt the freedom to ask such a question, I'll admit. But as it turns out... it's not really anyone's business to ask. This question didn't bother me for a long time; I'm an open book, so I'd say what we were thinking about the whole situation. However, once we started trying, it seemed like such a personal ordeal. We didn't want everyone to know, because we didn't want to get asked every month if we were pregnant yet. So I never knew how to answer that question without blatantly lying (which I wouldn't, by the way; I'd just say something like, "who knows, we are waiting on the Lord"). At one point someone jokingly said something about us having 9 months to have a baby, & these comments hurt when you realize it's not as easy as just "deciding" you want a baby. Some people have to wait, & that wait was hard!! Harder than I expected. So, basically, watch what you say to people about getting pregnant. Sometimes you don't know what's really going on.

2. Telling a pregnant person a story about miscarriage.

The first trimester of pregnancy is an uncertain time (really the whole thing is, but relatively speaking, the first 3 months are the worst). So telling a story about miscarriage, whether personal or secondhand, to someone who is pregnant is a bad idea, not to mention not very encouraging. An acquaintance heard that I was pregnant, & asked how far along I was. I said 10 weeks. She proceeded to tell me about how she miscarried at 12 weeks, then struggled for 2 years to get pregnant again. This is not to discount her experience. I can't imagine going through that. I just don't think it's appropriate to tell someone who is pregnant & concerned for the life growing inside of them. It's too easy to worry - we don't need any extra reason to fear!

3. Telling someone "you aren't even showing!"

Most people know it's a bad idea to say something like, "you're HUGE!" "you're only 20 weeks? you look like you're 9 months!" I haven't had anyone say anything like that to me. But when I was first having to wear maternity clothes, maybe around 15 weeks, I had several people tell me I was tiny, that I wasn't showing at all. Now I realize this might not upset some pregnant women. But when I saw that I no longer had a waist & my stomach was pooching out, I felt like I was being told that I was poochy before I was pregnant & that nothing had changed! I wanted to hear that I was showing a little bit, not that I apparently needed to wear elastic pants pre-pregnancy without realizing it! Plus after 15ish weeks of feeling nauseous & exhausted, to finally be showing seemed to validate my pregnancy, so I felt like that was taken from me when people disagreed. Yes, I read into it big time - let's blame it on the hormones! But I finally got a perfect response from someone - "you look beautiful!" Now, how can that go wrong?? So just say that to a pregnant woman & you're golden.

4. "Eat that cake, you're eating for two!"

This one doesn't really bother me, but hello, 300 extra calories a day is not eating for two! That stuff goes on my thighs, not Elliot's! Silly people.

5. Anything except for "What a wonderful name!!" or some version of positive feedback when you hear what someone is naming their baby.

I actually haven't had any negative comments about Elliot's name (not to my face anyways!), so this one isn't personal but I know a lot of people experience it. There are so many types of names: traditional, modern, gender neutral names, old-fashioned names, names that are completely made up. Clearly some people do just have some crazy name ideas. But for the most part it's just a matter of what you like versus what other people like. Where people get confused is thinking they are allowed to share their opinion about someone else's baby's name. Nope. Not in the least. So, be encouraging! That name is special & chosen specifically for that child. That's a big deal!

6. Negative commentary in regard to a decision a pregnant woman/couple makes.

There are only about 927,461,854 decisions, give or take a few, to make in regard to pregnancy & parenthood. Doctors & hospitals, epidurals, C-sections, circumcision, breastfeeding, vaccinations, blah blah blah. & if other pregnant women are like me, they'll spend plenty of time thinking about everything & doing plenty of research about the options & praying about every decision. I am so thankful that Josh & I see so many of the issues the same way so it has been easy to make a lot of these decisions together. I try not to share a lot of these decisions with other people if they wouldn't know otherwise, because I know there are a lot of opinions. But I have had people ask me specific questions in regard to some of these things, or about cloth diapers which is not going to be a secret as soon as people see pictures of Elliot, & promptly tell me I am crazy or give me a look that says pretty much the same thing. Then let me enjoy my craziness, & you can make another decision for your child - that is okay, right??

7. Negative stories about pregnancy/postpartum/parenthood.

"You think you're tired NOW? Just wait!" Talking badly about their kids then saying, "Are you ready for that?!" "Your body is NEVER THE SAME." aka.... get ready for your life to end. Seriously people! What happened to children being a blessing? What happened in between "Congratulations on your pregnancy!" & "You don't know what you're in for!"??? For me, I have had a hard time with seeing my body get bigger, especially outside of the stomach area. I have felt yucky most of the past 6 months. But this is something I chose because I want children; we want children, lots of them! So it makes me sad to hear people say such negative things. & as I struggle with not being vain & selfish, I need to hear those positive stories instead of how women are still sad over what pregnancy did to their bodies or what having kids did for their lives.

You see a trend?? Negativity is BAD! Encouragement is GOOD! Pregnancy has been a crazy ride, & I have struggled through it so far. I have had to learn (& continue to learn) a new way of dying to myself, of letting go of things that don't matter, of getting over pride & vanity, of learning how to do what is good & right despite how I feel physically. I want to have an attitude that is pleasing to the Lord. I want to be a parent that is godly & leads her children to Jesus & takes them back to scripture in every situation. I need encouragement. I need prayer. So most of the above issues have made my struggle harder & pushed my thoughts away from trusting the Lord & resting in His plan for me & our family. I am blessed to have some people in my life who have been encouraging & wonderful through this time, & I am so thankful for them, so I don't want to make it seem like it's all been bad.

God still has a lot to teach me in the next 3 months, & I'm trying to learn as much of it as possible. I don't want to miss an opportunity or let this time pass by without changing me for the better. So, pray that that happens. Thanks. :-)

Week 25

2010-07-07T18:28:00.003-05:00

I do plan on writing up the TYSNFFTASOAPIRTPAB post in the next couple of days, so watch for it! (However I do reserve the right to not write it in the next couple of days if I don't feel like it. :-) )

Fruit/Veggie

Rutabaga (the weight of one anyways... not that I even know what a rutabaga looks like)

Size

13 1/2 inches, 1.5 lb (I can't believe something that long is inside of me!)

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

He's beginning to exchange his long, lean look for some baby fat. He's also growing more hair - and if you could see it, you'd be able to discern its color & texture. (I'm betting he has dark hair like Josh.)

Best Moment this Week

We had lots of fun with great friends on the Fourth of July. & ate horribly, too! (well, it tasted great, but I can't imagine it was too good for me :-) ). I also got to lay out at the pool today with two friends - ahh, relaxing!

Gender

BOY! Elliot James.

Movement

It's so fun to watch my stomach move around. I'm looking forward to being able to distinguish which body parts are poking out. He does get into one position fairly often where I guess a knee or a foot is pushing hard on this particular spot on my stomach & it hurts! I have to get him to move so I can be more comfortable.

Food Craving

Still eating fruit like a crazy person. Watermelon, white nectarines, cherries, oranges, & honeydew this week. :-)

Sleep

So, the pregnancy pillow does seem to help, but apparently does not alleviate my back pain. Yesterday was really bad & today I have still had to be very cautious with my movements so I don't make it worse. Last night while I was trying to get comfortable I realized my hips were hurting... that's new. I just think the days of good, comfortable sleep are over until Elliot is sleeping in his room instead of in my belly.

What I am looking forward to

I'm currently bidding on a baby carrier (a mei tai) on ebay & I'll find out tonight if I win it! This weekend I'm heading off to Austin to spend time with some friends from high school which will be fun as always, while Josh & a friend of ours work on replacing the plumbing & re-tiling our shower. I'm really excited for that to get done!

Symptoms

Slight nausea, exhaustion, extreme back pain (the past couple of days anyways), hip pain at night.

Week 24

2010-07-01T10:28:00.002-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

Ear of corn

Size

Over 1 pound & almost a foot long (he probably gained around 4 oz since last week)

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

His body is filling out proportionally & he'll soon start to plump up. His brain is growing quickly now, & his taste buds are continuing to develop.

Best Moment this Week

See post below - "Weekend Getaway." That was great. We also got his two dressers (one has a changing table top) put together (& by we I mean Josh) & we get his crib within the next week.

Gender

BOY! Elliot James.

Movement

The thing that has surprised me this week about his movement is that he is taking up a much bigger space now, so his movements are spread out & it has gotten harder to tell what he's doing in there. Less kicks & punches & more squirming & readjusting. My stomach is dancing around as I type this.

Food Craving

Hmm... nothing really. Oh I did really want chicken & dumplings this week so I made it a couple nights ago... it was yummy.

Sleep

Due to how badly my back was hurting, I started sleeping with the pregnancy pillow. The downside is getting used to sleeping with it. It's not easy to turn over so I end up sleeping on one side until I wake up to go to the bathroom so my ear hurts. But it's been 3 nights now & I'm getting used to it. The good news is, it does seem to have helped with my back pain. So I guess it will be my constant sleeping companion for the next 3 months.

What I am looking forward to

This weekend should be fun... we'll (hopefully) get to go out on the lake (if it's not raining) then spending the fourth cooking out with friends!

Symptoms

Slight nausea, exhaustion, less lower back pain, & it seems I am fighting a sinus infection (the left side of my face & head starts to hurt when I get one... I'm hoping to fight it so I can deal without taking meds).

Weekend Getaway

2010-06-28T16:16:00.004-05:00

This weekend Josh & I went away to my parents' ranch. He has been so busy with work & traveling & I have had work & baby stuff & all kinds of preoccupations; we definitely needed a break!

It was SO NICE to be away & take a mental break from everything. We slept in, laid around, made a big breakfast, went in to San Angelo & walked around the stores downtown & hung out at the soda foundation to get a coke float & a milkshake, looked at antiques, then ate an early dinner at a restaurant that used to be a bank in the 1890's with a tunnel that connected to a brothel (who knew things were so sketchy back then in San Angelo??), rode the ATV & talked with the cows, & slept some more.

We were not ready to get back to real life, that is for sure. But we were really thankful for the opportunity to go relax for a while!

Week 23

2010-06-24T14:51:00.003-05:00

FYI: I do indeed have other things going on in my life besides being pregnant, I promise! I have been so busy lately that I haven't had time to blog about anything besides this weekly update (that I have to squeeze in sometimes!). So sorry if you are getting bored with this... come back in 3 1/2 months! :-)

Fruit/Veggie

Large mango (weight not length)

Size

Over 11 inches head to foot, & over 1 pound

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

Blood vessels in his lungs are developing to prepare for breathing, and the sounds that your baby's increasingly keen ears pick up are preparing him for entry into the outside world. Loud noises that become familiar now — such as your dog barking or the roar of the vacuum cleaner — probably won't faze him when he hears them outside the womb.

Best Moment this Week

We got a couple of the pieces of furniture for his room in yesterday; I'm hoping we'll get to put those together next week sometime. Josh is working on building shelves in the garage for more storage. I also got in a couple of diapers that I had ordered (we are going to cloth diaper... I'll let you get out the whole "you're crazy!" reaction from that side of the computer). So I can't wait to start getting things put together... it's still just in piles right now. Oh ya, & we registered!

Gender

BOY! Elliot James.

Movement

Same old thing - he's a squirmer!

Food Craving

I have about 3 diet Cherry Cokes a week. Yum. I try not to have caffeine every day.

Sleep

I sleep mostly on my sides now, which is just not near as comfortable as on my back. I'm still sleeping, just not comfortably.

What I am looking forward to

Getting his room together... still!

Symptoms

Slight nausea, exhaustion (I asked about it at my appointment & after analyzing all the factors, it's just how I experience pregnancy - tired!), bad lower back pain (not constant, but piercing, & it is worse on some days than others), aversions

Week 22

2010-06-17T14:07:00.004-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

Spaghetti Squash

Size

11 inches head to foot, & almost one pound

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

Your baby is starting to look like a miniature newborn, & he's developing tiny tooth buds beneath his gums.

Best Moment this Week

My mom & I got the fabric to make his crib skirt & window treatments, & I got further in my planning for his wall decor. We ordered the furniture (but won't get it for at least 6 weeks since it's currently out of stock).

Gender

BOY! Elliot James.

Movement

He moves often from breech to head-down, so sometimes his kicks are high & sometimes they are low. A couple of times I have felt his kicks making a circle as his feet moved counter-clockwise around my stomach. It's funny to feel him squirming around.

Food Craving

Still cherry stuff, like Cherry Coke.

Sleep

I think I turned a corner in the sleeping department... onto Uncomfortable Street. Sleeping is not as comfortable anymore. I'll wake up in the night with my back hurting because I'm sleeping on it, & I don't get that "ahh, bed" feeling anymore no matter how tired I am because I just feel awkward laying down now. Poo. I knew it wouldn't last! It might be time to use the pregnancy pillow.

What I am looking forward to

We are registering this weekend... I'm hoping we make it out alive. There are SO MANY things to consider, & Josh doesn't care for a lot of it, so at first I said we could just register together for the stuff he had an opinion about & I'd do the rest later, but last time we were in there he expressed an opinion about almost everything. SO, we'll be there a while!!

Symptoms

I was excited to say that it seemed I was over the nausea... until yesterday. I felt horrible yesterday, bad headache, nauseous, tired. The headache is gone today but my stomach is still yucky & I was so tired this morning, I went to the gym, quit halfway through my workout, came home & went back to sleep. So, I don't know if the nausea is gone yet or not. I was thinking too, that everyone told me the exhaustion would be gone by week 14... so 8 weeks later, it's starting to wear on me. I'm over halfway done... I can make it!! No, being pregnant is definitely not my favorite physical state... but I want to meet our little guy! & feeling him move around makes it better.

Week 21

2010-06-08T15:29:00.003-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

Carrot

Size

10 1/2 inches head to foot; no weight in the email this week, weird.

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

Your baby's eyebrows & lids are present now. (It also mentions that I should soon be feeling flutters turn to kicks, but Elliot's been kicking the poo out of me for a few weeks now, so that's old news.)

Best Moment this Week

We bought a glider for his room, & I did some online registering. I feel productive actually getting stuff done!

Gender

BOY! Elliot James.

Movement

Still kickin' away. It's getting more obvious what he's doing in there - I am starting to be able to distinguish what his movements are. He moved a couple days ago from being breech to being head-down so now his kicks are high instead of low. He also lets me know when I'm bending over too far, like he doesn't have as much room in there all of a sudden.

Food Craving

Cherry flavored stuff... cherries, cherry flavored sparkling water, cherry Coke. Random.

Sleep

I'm sleeping okay. I have determined based on the past two Saturdays that my body needs about 11 hours of sleep a night right now. I'm definitely not getting that which is why I'm always tired. My back hasn't hurt too much this past week which is good.

What I am looking forward to

Continuing to register & get his room ready! I have a feeling this will be a project for the next month-6 weeks.

Symptoms

Slight nausea, exhaustion, aversions.

it's go time

2010-06-04T15:06:00.004-05:00

So, everything up until this point has been waiting. Waiting for our first appointment. Waiting for our second appointment. Waiting to tell people. Waiting to feel better (still kind of waiting with that one...). Waiting to find out our baby's identity.

& now... BOMBARDED! I feel like I have a million things to do. I need to register soon, so I need to research products. I need to figure out where I'm going to register. I need to create my baby shower guest list. I need to decide if I'm going to take any classes, because I need to sign up soon. AH! Not to mention, we need to clean out Elliot's room so we can order his furniture & start setting things up. Whoa! When did all this happen?! I have (assumedly [I just got spell-checked - assumedly isn't a word? it is now]) four months before he comes, but so much else going on in that time, & I feel the crunch now.

So, IT'S GO TIME PEOPLE!

Week 20 (halfway there!)

2010-06-02T15:01:00.004-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

Banana

Size

10 inches head to foot, & BabyCenter says he should weigh around 10 1/2 oz. but as of last week he weighed 11 oz, so he's a little above that.

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

He's swallowing more these days, which is good practice for his digestive system. He's also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. This gooey substance will accumulate in his bowels, & you'll see it in his first soiled diaper. (aren't you glad you know that now?)

Best Moment this Week

Our appointment/anniversary! It was a great day. I had a milkshake to get him moving for the ultrasound, which worked! At the beginning he was moving around a lot so we quickly learned he was a boy, then he chilled out & when she was filming the DVD, she was poking my stomach so he'd move & he'd have none of it. We learned he is looking completely healthy, & growing right on schedule. After our appointment we grabbed some tea at It's a Grind, bought Elliot's first two outfits at Babies R Us, then Josh took me out to a French restaurant for dinner (yum!) & then to see "Letters to Juliet." It was a great anniversary!

Gender

BOY! Elliot James. Elliot is a modern version of the name Elijah, a prophet of the Old Testament, & his name means, "My God is Yahweh" or, "My God is the Lord." James is Josh's middle name, as well as a great book of the New Testament (one of my favorites actually). We are so excited to know who is in there. One of our friends told us that he has been praying the heart of Elijah over Elliot. We know God has good plans for him!

Movement

Elliot is a kicker! I don't know that he flips around much, he just seems to kick me quite often. Which, now that we had our ultrasound, doesn't surprise me because he has Josh's strong legs! Josh has felt him kick several times now so I'm glad for that.

Food Craving

My cravings are actually backing off quite a bit. I'm trying to eat a good balance of fruit, vegetables, protein, & carbs.

Sleep

I'm sleeping fine. Some nights I lay down, my back hurts pretty bad for a good 5-10 minutes, no matter how I lay.

What I am looking forward to

Ordering the furniture, cleaning out Elliot's closet to make room for his cute little clothes, & working on the decorations I have planned for the wall above his crib... I'll wait to tell you about those.

Symptoms

Slight nausea, exhaustion (seriously, most people say "fatigue" but that so doesn't describe well enough my unlimited tiredness. Apparently a lot of women get a burst of energy in the second trimester - I don't think I'm gonna end up getting that!), loose joints (sometimes when I walk it feels like my right leg wants to dislocate itself from the rest of me), thirsty (which is still bad with my extreme dislike of water, which leads me to -), aversions (water, hot coffee, mint), lower back pain (only some days).

It's Elliot!

2010-06-01T15:18:00.003-05:00

We are indeed having a boy! We are excited to know it's Elliot in there. Here is his latest photo:

I'll update soon on week 20! Halfway done - crazy!

Week 19

2010-05-25T17:03:00.003-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

Heirloom tomato

Size

6 inches (head to rump, I forgot to specify that, no legs included), 8 1/2 oz (grew 2 1/2 ounces in one week; I'm so proud!)

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

Your baby's sensory development is exploding! Her brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. The hair on her scalp is sprouting.

Best Moment this Week

See "movement." Also, I think I finally look pregnant instead of chunky to strangers - Saturday I noticed a couple of people looking & smiling at me. & I don't think I had anything embarrassing hanging off me, so hopefully I interpreted their smiles correctly.

Gender

Tomorrow!! Hopefully! I'm praying for a good appointment & an ultrasound that reveals a healthy baby - & hopefully the gender of that baby!

Movement

Friday night baby was moving around a lot, so I put my hand on my stomach while laying down, & felt him kick for the first time! Saturday I saw him kicking lots. Unfortunately Josh was out of town so Sunday he saw one tap & felt one, but not as many or as big as I have, but in time he'll see plenty!

Food Craving

Watermelon, other fruits... cherries, peaches, mangoes, yum.

Sleep

Hmm... sleeping pretty hard lately, except last night not so much. I couldn't fall asleep & had a hard time getting back to sleep each time I woke up. I'm still sleeping on my back comfortably tho, which I am thankful for.

What I am looking forward to

Tomorrow, tomorrow! Not only the ultrasound, but our anniversary, & having Josh back in town since he has traveled for the past 6 days.

Symptoms

Slight nausea except yesterday it was lots of nausea in the morning, then upset stomach pains in the evening; lower back pain; exhaustion.

Week 18

2010-05-18T15:24:00.005-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

Bell pepper

Size

5 1/2 inches, 7 oz.

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

He's busy flexing his arms & legs. His blood vessels are visible through his thin skin, & his ears are now in their final position. A protective cover of myelin is beginning to form around his nerves, a process that will continue for a year after he's born.

Best Moment this Week

I'm gonna have to say, I got pretty excited today when I found a really comfortable jersey skirt at Target... I bought two. It wasn't maternity but it'll work with my tummy. I'm trying to find good everyday clothes that will not be too hot this summer, so if I can find some good tank tops to go with my comfy skirts, I will be good to go!!

Gender

1 week!! I'm so excited. I hope baby cooperates!! Josh will get off early afternoon for our appointment, then afterwards we're spending the rest of the day celebrating our anniversary... Josh has the evening planned & won't tell me. So let's hope for an immodest baby for one day!! Then he/she can go back to being quite modest which we know a child Josh & I would create would HAVE to be. :-)

Movement

Baby has been very active this week. Saturday he moved around a lot more than usual. A couple nights ago, I was laying in bed & I'm pretty sure he had the hiccups. Every ten seconds or so, he'd jump real big, for a few minutes straight. It was funny, & felt like he would just hop out of my stomach, the movements were so big.

Food Craving

Watermelon, but I'm able to control it now... :-) honestly who has room for a whole watermelon in their fridge every week?? Still eating tons of fruit, raw veggies with ranch dressing. Oh & double noodle soup, you know, the kids' kind. Yum.

Sleep

I have been sleeping pretty heavy, & waking up feeling so not ready to get out of bed. I could sleep for hours into the morning, but I don't, so I take naps mid-morning after my workout on most days.

What I am looking forward to

Next week! So excited.

Symptoms

Slight nausea mainly in the evenings after dinner, lots of exhaustion, dizziness (during a walk with my mom this weekend I started to veer off to one side for a second. I read this is normal, though very weird.), aversions (I'd really like to enjoy drinking water again soon!).

Week 17

2010-05-10T17:07:00.003-05:00

Fruit/Veggie

Turnip

Size

5 inches, 5 oz.

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com.)

Your baby's skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone, & the umbilical cord is growing thicker & stronger. He can move his joints, & his sweat glands are starting to develop.

Best Moment this Week

Mother's Day! I got cards from family, texts from friends, & got to spend time with Josh walking around La Cantera, ordering in Chinese food, & watching movies. I also now feel like I finally look pregnant instead of chunky - however I'm now not sure how I feel about this!! It's weird.

Gender

2 weeks!!

Movement

Not a ton this week, perhaps because I have been trying to keep more hydrated (since I don't drink water that is sometimes difficult) so more fluid may be making movements less easy to feel.

Food Craving

Watermelon. Really that's it. I did buy some (chicken) corn dogs today at the market because they sounded good.

Sleep

I have not been sleeping well. Part uncomfortable, but largely the inability to fall back to sleep when I wake up to go to the bathroom, as well as a headache that stuck around for about 4 days this week. Friday night it was POUNDING & I can't lay down when it hurts that bad.

What I am looking forward to

Starting to get the room ready! We are going to order the crib soon & are watching for a dresser. Josh is working on fixing up an old bookcase we got for free.

Symptoms

Slight nausea, exhaustion, headaches, aversions, lower back pain (I should mention, I don't know if this usually hits pregnant women this early, but I have a slipped disk that I'm pretty sure is what is being messed up now). Oh yes & pregnancy brain which leaves me mentally unreliable. You can consider this one a constant throughout pregnancy, from what I'm told. Just don't ask me to remember anything for you!

Week 16

2010-05-04T15:20:00.003-05:00

I saw this on someone else's blog, & I thought it was a cute idea! So, here we go!

Fruit/Veggie

Avocado :-)

Size

4 1/2 inches long, 3 1/2 ounces

Baby Changes (Source: BabyCenter.com. I won't bore you with everything, just the cool stuff.)

In the next few weeks, baby will double his weight & add inches to his length. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren't recognizable yet. His heart is now pumping 25 quarts of blood a day!

Best Moment this Week

I had been feeling baby only when I concentrated, but twice this week he flopped in a way that drew my attention - it was a big movement! I'm feeling him every day now, most of the time it's a ticklish feeling.

Gender

3 more weeks!! I hope baby cooperates! No, I don't "feel" one way or the other... I wish I knew!

Movement

See "Best Moment this Week."

Food Craving

Still watermelon of course, & snow cones always sound good as well. I also really like grapefruit, & celery with peanut butter. Oh, & I really like ranch dressing all of a sudden, mainly with raw veggies, & I got a ranch popcorn seasoning, yum!

Sleep

This one changes a lot. Last week I was waking up around 4 or 5 in the morning & not able to fall back to sleep very well. Then most of this week I've slept soundly, altho waking up feeling like I could still sleep for hours. But last night I woke up around 2:30 & couldn't fall back to sleep; I was thirsty & then nauseous when I drank water so that didn't help. I'm not completely uncomfortable yet though, so I'm still enjoying that. I have several dreams a night as well.

What I am looking forward to

Finding out who is in my belly! I want so badly to know baby's identity & name. I also am looking forward to my belly looking obviously pregnant - I don't like this in-between stage of just looking chunky.

Symptoms

Nausea, exhaustion, aversions, lower back pain, moodiness (oh yeah, that last one is fun for Josh :-) ).

Just want to say...

2010-05-03T17:11:00.001-05:00

Pregnancy brain is a real thing. Unfortunately.

a craving outing

2010-04-30T16:03:00.003-05:00

I really have not had many cravings; mostly aversions, so I eat whatever doesn't make me feel nauseous to think about. But, I have craved watermelon consistently, & I found a juice that I like that Josh went to buy for me one day after work because I had checked two stores & hadn't found it, so he took care of me. But last night was the first time that I really wanted something random, that I wanted immediately: a snow cone.

I googled & searched & apparently San Antonio is a snow cone desert. This was a PROBLEM; I needed that snow cone. So after I texted a friend who I knew loved snow cones, I found out that some HEBs have snow cone stands in front, so Josh oh-so-kindly called one to make sure, & we headed out there. When we got there & walked up, there was another largely pregnant woman, as well as her sister who had given birth 3 weeks ago, in line in front of us, so we got to chat pregnancy. Josh thought it was hilarious that another pregnant woman was buying a snow cone since this was the first time he'd taken me somewhere to fulfill a craving.

This place was no Bahama Bucks, but they had lots of flavor options: I got tiger's blood & Josh got coconut cream pie (yum, I'll have to get that next time). We'll definitely be going back. Lucky for me, it's open any day that it's over 70 degrees, so that will easily be through the rest of my pregnancy.

We sat out in the Adirondack chairs in front of HEB & ate our snow cones. It was a nice evening. :-)

Pregnancy until now

2010-04-29T15:06:00.007-05:00

So, I have to warn you, if pregnancy-related stuff doesn't interest you, you can skip this post (& that is unfortunate, since it is a big part of my life right now, such a topic will probably show up often).

I'll try to cover the first 15 weeks of my pregnancy with the info I think people want to know (because I have wanted to know it for others), however I will not share EVERYTHING I think people want to know, because quite frankly when it comes to pregnancy people feel freedom to ask questions they should not ask... I think I shall save that for another post: Things You Should Not Feel Free to Ask, Say, or Advise People in Regard to Pregnancy and Babies (in Stuff Christians Like fashion, that would be the TYSNFFTASOAPIRTPAB post).

Week 4.5: We find out we are pregnant. I had experienced a couple of symptoms for a day or so that led me to believe something might be up. We were excited but it definitely took a couple of days for the information to sink in.

(On a related note, I just got an email from a baby website & the subject line is "Our Best Birth Videos." Ummm, I think I'll pass for now...)

Week 5: I begin experiencing aversions to water, mint, coffee, & chocolate. So, things that had had a daily presence in my life before. I have been able to have a couple of iced coffee drinks (decaf of course) in the past couple of weeks, but besides that, these aversions are still kickin' which is not great. Especially the water one - lemonade & juice for me! Oh, & think about brushing your teeth when the smell & taste of mint makes you want to throw up. I finally bought Disney Princess Bubble Gum toothpaste, which basically changed my life for the better.

Week 6: I begin feeling a carsick-type nausea. It progressively got worse until about week 11, when I started having better days. I never threw up though, which is nice, I just felt like it all the time (all the time - whether I had food in my stomach or not; morning, day or night). I still have periods of feeling like this, mostly in the morning or after dinner now.

Weeks 8-11: The worst weeks of my pregnancy. I felt sick & exhausted all the time. Luckily, I didn't have much work those few weeks so I was able to take lots of naps & lay on the couch. After that, like I said, it slowed down a bit.

During those two weeks, I had my first two appointments. Josh loved seeing baby wave at him on the sonogram. It was nice to know everything was normal & healthy. At 10 weeks we told our family, then slowly started telling friends, church family, etc.

Week 13: My tummy pooched. Josh & I felt it was a noticeable difference, although to the normal world, I just looked (& still do look) like I am just gaining weight, all in my stomach. It doesn't scream "baby" quite yet, but people who know me have started making comments about how I'm showing. My jeans stopped buttoning at this point, so I switched to a BeBand (to keep wearing my jeans) & started wearing some maternity shirts.

Week 14: I had gotten a few headaches so far, which happens in pregnancy (a little worse than my normal headaches), but this week I had a headache for about 4 days straight. Yuuuck. Tylenol would help for a little bit, but I don't want to take medicine if I can avoid it, so I toughed it out.

I started feeling flutters, but only when I laid really still & concentrated (& sometimes still felt nothing).

Week 15: I stopped wearing my normal life pants. The BeBand is not comfortable to me, so I am pretty consistently wearing maternity at this point. My back is hurting off & on now; I have to make sure my posture is good & switch the shoulder I hold my purse on every now & then. It's getting a little uncomfortable to lay on my back.

I also now have the symptom of stuffy nose, mainly when I sleep.

I have felt a couple big kicks/flops (I can't tell which) this week, which has been fun. It seems maybe baby is switching positions because it is just one movement then it stops.

I had an appointment yesterday, which is where I got the picture below. Baby was hiding from the doppler so I got a second sonogram, which was fun. No gender known yet, but four weeks to go!! We can't wait to find out. We do have both names picked out already, but won't be sharing until we find out boy or girl, & whichever name we don't use, we will keep in the vault for next time!

I think that covers everything pretty well at this point. I still I'll start doing weekly updates on baby's size, growth, & changes with me.

By the way, baby is bigger than a Red Delicious apple right now. He'll be a new fruit on Saturday. :-)

Baby's debut

2010-04-28T10:01:00.003-05:00

I have about a million things to say on here now that I'm not keeping a huge secret (which is mostly the reason I have been slacking so badly on the blogging), but don't have time now, so for now, here is a picture of baby:

2010-04-09T10:23:00.001-05:00

This is a great article about the purpose of marriage.

Real Christianity

2010-04-07T14:28:00.002-05:00

I really liked today's devo - it hits on Christianity that is real & alive, vs. plain old religion, which is what a lot of people are unknowingly living.

"These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." - 1 Peter 1:7

"One of the great tragedies of the Christian life is that if we fail to enter into a relationship with God that is born of the Holy Spirit, we are left with a religion, not a relationship. Many a person today lives with an intellectual belief in God, but without a relationship that is based on two-way communication. This is the greatest tragedy of all. It's like having a brand-new car but never having the gas to run it. It can't move you anywhere. It only looks pretty, but one cannot enjoy the ride or smell the newness inside.

Peter tells us that until our faith is proved genuine, we will never be able to give praise, glory, and honor to Jesus, because until such testing He will not be revealed in our lives. Peter describes this in the verse before: "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials" (1 Pet. 1:6). Trials are designed to bring us to a level of trust and experience with God that we would never know otherwise. These "faith experiences" with God allow us to know firsthand the faithfulness of God, the love of God, and the personal nature of God. If you cannot recount several instances when God has met you personally, then chances are your faith has not been born of the Holy Spirit into a living relationship with God. It is easy to fall prey to a relationship to God that never experiences His real presence; rather, it is based on knowledge only. This is a tragic place to be.

If this is where you have been in your Christian experience, ask God today to make Himself real to you. Ask Him to show you His personal nature and love. He desires to do this. Those whom He has called know His voice. He will show Himself to those who are His. "He who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I too will love him and show Myself to him" (Jn. 14:21b)."

-Os Hillman

Beautiful day!!

2010-03-27T17:41:00.005-05:00

Josh & I had a fun day today!

We slept in a while, got cleaned up, ate some lunch while watching infomercials & talking about how someone would have to be crazy to spend so much money on such a thing, then headed outside to do some yard work. The weather is AWESOME these days, in the 70's with the occasional day of rain. (Sidenote: the wildflowers are in full bloom too; I love seeing ALL the bluebonnets, as well as the pretty red, pink, purple, & yellow flowers growing with all the GREEN... so pretty.) Josh did some mowing & pulling weeds while I trimmed bushes in the front & back. It was nice to just spend time outside being productive - I'm glad we had a free Saturday that was also so nice out!

Then we headed to Best Buy & bought The Blindside (in our opinions, a must-own) as well as a fun DVD pack of 4 Hugh Grant movies, including Two Weeks Notice, Music & Lyrics, & Mickey Blue Eyes, for $9.99!! What a great deal! So, we'll be watching a movie tonight!

Then we got smoothies & walked (remember, great weather) over to Target & browsed there, mainly in the kids' toy section, because that's how we roll. I showed him toys that I played with as a kid (like Rainbow Brite, Strawberry Shortcake, My Little Pony, & big buckets of chalk). They have these vintage Barbies out now; there were a couple from 1965, 1985, & some other year, so I was able to show him the progression of Barbie & what she looked like when I played with her... not so glam. We decided our girl(s) can't play with Barbie because she wears not modest clothing. Bummer.

After a quick run to the Heeb (HEB, that is), we are home for the rest of the evening. I may have to think of another reason to go outside, though....

LATE update!

2010-03-02T16:47:00.009-06:00

Wow, almost a month since I blogged... what a loser!! Unfortunately now that I sit here to try to not be a loser... I don't know that I have much to say. Let me think.

I went to five showers in the last month... four baby & one bridal. I think that's enough to last a while. Of course they were all fun, & I like being able to make people feel special. & thankfully none of them have included ridiculous games! Games, yes, just not the "grin & bear it" kind. (If you've been to a baby shower, you know what I'm talking about.) In fact, today's couples baby shower really focused on the guys/the father, which was fun! They had a competition where the guys had to wear bibs & suck prune juice through tiny bottles as fast as they could to see who could do it the fastest. It's amazing how guys will do anything to win a competition - the faces they made drinking that stuff were hilarious, but they kept going! Oh yes, & half of the guys were pastors from our church. I hope those pictures pop up somewhere expected someday; that'd be funny.

Josh & I are in the works planning a vacation with Zac & Cara to San Francisco! We decided 2 years in a row in DC was enough to see all we cared to see, so we're heading west this time. If you have any recommendations on things we should do, let me know!

So I've done John MacArthur Bible studies for the past year & a half or so, & I really enjoy them, so I downloaded a few of his sermons for a couple trips I've taken recently. I love his sermons! He speaks TRUTH unapologetically. One of the series I listened to was about how he thinks the number one problem with the American church (which, that's a whole series on its own) is the lack of ability to discern who is a Christian & who is not. God has revealed so much to me regarding this topic. Consider your definition of a "Christian" - does it line up with Scripture? ALL of Scripture??

I really recommend John MacArthur for a good Bible study or sermon.

Ah, then there's the Africa/India trip some of our pastors/leaders just got back from... God is going to be doing some stuff in our church, GOOD stuff that I'm really excited about. Maybe I'll blog about that soon....

Anyways, there is a bit of an update on our lives. Hopefully I'll get back on here sooner than later. :-)

Birthday Weekend!

2010-02-09T16:22:00.007-06:00

Two weekends ago, Josh took me to Austin for my birthday. He took Friday off & we drove up, dropped Sage off with my parents, then went to have a fun time together! I documented our trip well with pictures, so here we go!

We drove to the mall & picked up our movie tickets to see When in Rome!

Then we ate in the food court - I got this South Philly Cheesesteak, which is the REAL kind mind you, just like we had in Philadelphia!

We walked around a bit & I got a nice calf massage by the iSqueeze - ahh.

We saw the movie, which was cute! Then went to get some cupcakes at Sugar Mama's Bakery in the South Congress area. They were super yummy! Mine was vanilla on vanilla, called the Marilyn of course!

I loved these hanging light things in there!

We checked in to our hotel downtown, the Intercontinental Stephen F. Austin (yay for getting deals on Priceline!) & I took a nice nap, then we headed to dinner at Sandra Bullock's restaurant, Bess Bistro. It was yummy & a cool atmosphere. I got chicken pot pie & Josh got fish & chips.

We got a taxi there & back so we wouldn't have to pay for parking, & what came to pick us up but the Land Yacht, party central! It was funny. Loud music, crazy colors, all wasted on us just wanting to get back to our hotel!

This was the view from the hotel balcony toward the Capitol. Pretty!

The next morning, we slept in, checked out of our hotel then headed to brunch at Magnolia Cafe. I got the guacamole omelette - guac, black beans, bacon, & jack cheese, with queso on top. SOOO GOOD!

Driving toward the Capitol to take a tour - pretty view!

After our tour of the Capitol, we went to the Domain & pretended like we could afford to be there, then went out to my parents house to ride with them to one of the best meals of my life...

THIS!! Crab, asparagus, & sweet potato fries, finished with French press coffee & a birthday dessert! My dad's birthday was last week, so we always get together to do a joint birthday dinner... this was a good one!!

Then we went back to get Sage & headed back to SA so we could be at church the next morning. It was a very fun birthday weekend!!

No time to blog!

2010-02-04T16:00:00.002-06:00

Work got crazy this week & I'm helping throw a baby shower tomorrow night (YAY WHITNEY!) so I've been quite the busy bee!! But I've got a few blog ideas floating around in my head so stay tuned for when I get some free time!

"No time! There's never any time! I don't have time to study, I'll never get into Stanford!"

- anyone?? :-)

Homemade natural cleaner

2010-01-27T13:15:00.003-06:00

I'm blogging because I don't want to clean the bathrooms.

That is my least favorite thing to clean, by far. Not necessarily the toilets, although it's not that fun, but the counters & the tub... blah! The tubs mainly because I can't get down on my knees for very long so I usually can't get a good scrubbing in. But, it's next on the list - so far I have cleaned the guest bedrooms & the living room.

You know what's a great all-purpose cleaner? Equal parts water & vinegar. I have a squirt bottle with the mixture that I use in the kitchen, tile floor, window sills, etc. It's cheap, & has no chemicals. Yes it stinks a bit, but not for long. I love it (as much as you can love a cleaning product).

All right, back to cleaning....

January cleaning

2010-01-25T16:08:00.005-06:00

Somehow I decided this week I would clean the whole house. As in, even the things I don't clean on a normal basis - the top of the fans, the baseboards, etc. I really don't enjoy cleaning so I'm not quite sure how I decided this was a good idea. (I am great at tidying up - I so much prefer being neat & tidy to being meticulously clean!) It needs to be done, I suppose. Instead of breaking things into tasks, like spending one day just cleaning all of the windows & another day scrubbing all the cabinet fronts, I'm breaking it into rooms - bedrooms one day (since two of them are pretty easy), study another day, etc. I'm already behind... today I was supposed to clean the living room but had less time than anticipated. I guess since I created this crazy schedule, I could allow myself to stretch it into next week. I mean, who spends their BIRTHDAY week cleaning the house, right?!

The sinus infection still lingers in the form of a croaky voice & cough. I'm hoping in a couple days I'll be back to normal. I decided the worst part of not being able to talk (much) is not being able to sing - I sing all the time, & it's quite the bummer to not be able to.

I'm excited - Friday Josh is taking me to Austin to hang out for a couple days for my birthday! He's taking Friday off so we can have fun. I'll have to make a list of things I want to do. :-)

Have a great week!

Book Review: Safely Home by Randy Alcorn

2010-01-22T16:51:00.005-06:00

The plot: A Chinese man comes to the US for college & several years later, he & his American roommate end up spending time together in China. Basically, the American has his perception of China, then as he spends time there with his roommate, he sees the real China behind the facade - the politics, the censorship, the persecution of Christians. (This book is fiction, based on real situations & information.)

What we talked about in book club: I hadn't read it yet by the time we met for book club because our library didn't have it, so I read it after we met. That being said, I wasn't very involved in the conversation & don't remember tons of it. I do remember everyone talking about one part of the book where the Chinese man's wife had saved the box that their Bible came in, simply because it carried the book that was so holy & precious to them (since unregistered Bibles are not allowed in China).

Recommendation: Read it, read it, read it. Period. Not only is the story a page-turner, it is SO eye-opening to the conditions in China, particularly for believers. We can be so unaware of what is going on in the world, & we need to be praying for our family there. God used this book to do a lot in my heart (you can read more about that in this post) so it was life-changing for me.

Check out this color!

2010-01-21T12:18:00.003-06:00

This tree in our backyard is a gorgeous red! The leaves have just started falling (apparently this particular tree didn't get the memo that it is supposed to shed in the fall)... & it's a big tree... lots of raking, here we come! In the meantime, I am enjoying the beautiful color!

not breathing, food, laughs...

2010-01-20T17:39:00.003-06:00

I'm sick. :-(

Josh was sick last week & we're pretty sure it was a sinus infection, & pretty sure that's what I have too. The weather has been making my allergies act up, & now my sinuses are pinched shut, my head is throbbing, & it hurts to swallow (which in turn makes my head hurt worse... fun). Even my scalp hurts.

I decided the worst part about having a sinus infection is the fact that it makes sleep miserable. When you're sick, sleep is great; you have an excuse to sleep in, take naps, & rest helps you feel better. When your head feels like it's going to explode every time you lay down, it makes sleep not all that fun. Poo. I wish I could at least enjoy the fact that I can't work out by sleeping in, but no such luck.

Done hearing me whine? Me too.

If you would like some new recipes to try out, go to our recipe blog; there have been several new recipes posted in the past couple of weeks, including the recipe for beef rice curry I made last night.

Dennis Quaid was on Ellen again today... I love that show. If you want a good laugh, see the last time he was on there... it's hilarious.

A random update for you

2010-01-11T16:00:00.006-06:00

I just got in my Gevalia coffee... yumm. Isn't it fun to get packages, too?

I also have become quite the tea drinker. A year ago I didn't drink any tea - not iced, not hot, nothin. Then Josh & I discovered Teavana last summer, which pulled me in to the hot tea world. Now I drink two or three cups of hot tea a day! Always peppermint at night, then I have currently in my pantry, green tea (which I will probably always keep on hand), rooibos, & chamomile with honey & vanilla. I love that I like a drink that is actually good for you (opposed to diet drinks), plus it helps with that whole 8 glasses of water a day thing.

January is a great month. Partly because it's a new year, looking forward to what the Lord will do. But mainly because it's my birthday month. :-) I love birthdays! I kind of make a big deal out of them... which can be bad when no one realizes my ridiculously high expectations (it's interesting that I even have high expectations regarding my birthday, because I tend to live life with a "let's not get too excited so I don't get let down" kind of way... but that's another quirk for another day). But thanks to Josh & my parents & Haley, I have people who make it a very fun time. So, yay for January!

& yay for this week! Tonight Josh & I are going out to dinner... this is a rare occurance but much needed, as he has been working hard on a project he finishes today & we need to get out of the house & just have fun & good conversation. Yay for tomorrow, because with it comes the return of AMERICAL IDOL! Oh yes. We love this show. I think it's the only show year-round that we actually attempt to watch every episode of. (I know that was really bad grammar, ending a sentence with the word "of." Ah, did it again.) & yay for this weekend, because one of our good friends from high school is coming to visit us, Mr. Aaron Schrank himself. It should be good times... except for the obligatory game of Settlers of Catan that I agreed to (what was I thinking???).

I just remembered, I have a couple of book reviews to write up... hopefully coming soon!!

Here's to January!! :-)

The purpose of your life

2010-01-05T16:46:00.001-06:00

Today's devo... good stuff!!

"You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something" (Psalm 139: 15). (Msg)

If you are going to discover how God wants to use your life and work, you must know why you were created. If you start trying to determine your purpose in life before understanding why you were created, you will inevitably get hung up on the things you do as the basis for fulfillment in your life, which will only lead to frustration and disappointment.

First and foremost, God created you to know Him and to have an intimate relationship with Him. In fact, God says that if a man is going to boast about anything in life, "boast about this: that he understands and knows me" (Jer. 9:24). Mankind's relationship with God was lost in the Garden when Adam and Eve sinned. Jesus' death on the cross, however, allows us to restore this relationship with God and to have an intimate fellowship with Him. The apostle Paul came to understand this when he said, "I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrection power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself" (Phil. 3:10, THE MESSAGE).

Establishing this relationship with God is vital to understanding your purpose. If you don't have this relationship with God, you will seek to fulfill your purpose out of wrong motives; such as fear, insecurity, pride, money, relationships, guilt, or unresolved anger. God's desire is for you to be motivated out of love for Him and to desire to worship Him in all that you do. As you develop your relationship with God, He will begin to reveal His purpose for your life. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord" (Jer. 29:11).

Today, ask God to help you discover your unique purpose.

-Os Hillman

2010

2010-01-01T12:19:00.003-06:00

Happy New Year! We had a great night last night with two couples that are great friends to us, the Smiths & the Sandlins. We chatted & played a (very long!) game of Cranium - it kept us there until past 1:30 in the morning! I may not have been my most pleasant self, but hey, I made it, right? The Smiths are moving soon, which is terribly sad because we treasure their friendship, so we are enjoying every bit of time we get to spend with them.

So we have slept in, had coffee & breakfast, & Josh took down our Christmas lights & is now watching a bowl game. We spent some time in the Word as we had our coffee, & I don't know about you, but every time the old year passes & a new one comes, I consider the past & wonder about the future. God often teaches me things in seasons, & I have seen this in every year we've been married - May 2007-Dec 2007 was a period of starting our new life here, making friends, & learning how God desired us to serve Him as a married couple in the "real world." 2008 was a year of learning how to be married - communication, dealing with conflict, & specifically for us, helping each other out of grumpy moods instead of both ending up grumpy & having dumb arguments. 2009 was a year of enjoyment, really - we had three great vacations & continued to learn how to walk through life together, pursuing the Lord in the things He has given us to do in our daily lives. & within those past 2 1/2 yrs, the Lord has used this time to teach me & grow me immensely, with lots of lessons & lots of time in His Word, & I'm so thankful for this season.

So I ponder 2010 - what will it look like? What will the Lord teach us? How will we grow individually as well as a couple? What fun things will we do, & what trials will we encounter? What new ways will the Lord reveal Himself to me? Where will my faith grow, & what new truths will I really grasp? I have no idea. So I have been praying that the Lord would prepare us for the things that will come our way, that He will continue to transform us into people that truly please Him, that we will rejoice in every situation & keep our hearts solely on Him.

This morning I was led to dedicate this year to the Lord - it is His year to do with it what He will. We will go where He leads, & in every circumstance I will choose to say, it is well with my soul!

Jesus is coming again!

2009-12-31T11:31:00.003-06:00

Today's devotional was based on one of my favorite passages of scripture, regarding Jesus' return. I love the picture it gives us - He will come back on a white horse, strong & ready to save those of us who truly love Him, & to bring wrath to those who do not. This is serious business, people. Choose Jesus - then live a life that is pleasing to Him!

"I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and makes war (Rev 19:11-12).

I used to love old western movies growing up. So often the main characters would get into trouble and just in the nick of time the cavalry would show up blowing their trumpet and riding their horses to announce their arrival to save those in trouble.

Throughout our lives a battle is waged between Satan and God's Kingdom. There is a final battle coming that will see Jesus and His army invade the enemies of His kingdom. It is the great climax to thousands of years of warfare.

"He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God. The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean. Out of his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations. He will rule them with an iron scepter. He treads the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God Almighty. On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written:

KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS" (Rev 19:12-16).

We are all moving toward a day in which we will be judged: "The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books" (Rev 20:12-13). Ultimately, we will all reign with Christ in a new heaven and earth (Rev 21). How you live your life now will determine your role in the new heaven and earth.

Your life on earth is a mere blink on the scale of time. Whatever hardships you've faced on earth will pale in comparison to the glory that is to be revealed when the marriage of the Bride of Christ takes place on that final day.

Be faithful. Stand firm. And see the glory of the Lord. Amen."

Amazing coffee deal!

2009-12-30T18:14:00.002-06:00

Check this out... Gevalia is offering 3 boxes of coffee, your choice of brew, for $3!! Awesome! I love me some good coffee... & cheap is even better!

Christmastime

2009-12-19T11:31:00.003-06:00

I love Christmas. December is such a fun month... cold weather (the coldest winter we've experienced in San Antonio so far, for sure!), lights twinkling everywhere, Christmas trees & Christmas smells. Last week I went to 5 Christmas parties in one week, which was lots of fun! A couple church parties, a get-together with friends, & a traditional Mexican posada which was a new experience... we sang songs in Spanish, I have no idea what we said! But it was neat to celebrate the coming of Jesus in a completely different culture.

Monday is the last day of work before Josh gets to take off for Christmas, & I'm very excited to get some time together to relax & enjoy the season. Each year God makes me think of how Josh & I will celebrate Christmas when we have our own family, by considering traditions we already have as well as things we want to do to make sure our kids are focused on Jesus & the fulfillment of scripture instead of gifts.

I'm excited for this next week, for celebrating Christmas with my family, & giving them the gifts we have picked out/made! I love giving gifts & give lots of thought into what I give so it's always fun to finally present them!

However I'm not ready for the new year. This one went by so fast!! I have had to make sure I don't freak out with all the things I already see on the calendar in my head. Take it little by little... God always gives grace for the moment. Today has enough worries of its own (Matthew 6:34)!

I'll ponder 2010 another time... for now, it's Christmas, & I choose to focus on the Advent season... waiting with expectation on Jesus to come... celebrating the first time He came as God in flesh, & putting my hope in the time Jesus will come on a white horse to judge the earth (see Revelation 19) & take us to the place we were meant for... to be in the full presence of God!

good stuff

2009-12-17T10:58:00.000-06:00

Until I have time to write something, read this.

Proof of God

2009-12-07T10:45:00.001-06:00

From today's devotional by Os Hillman:

"For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse" (Rom 1:19-20).

Have you ever had someone say, "I don't see any evidence of God. How can a person believe in someone you can't see or see any evidence even exists?"

The Bible tells us that God is revealed in His creation everyday. Look at the human body and consider the likelihood of how thousands of body parts that must work together. Someone created it to work this well. If it were a manufactured product, it would be in the repair shop all the time because of all the moving parts required to make it work.

Consider the wonderful order and balance of nature and how the seas know their boundaries, the beauty of the mountains, and the balance of rain and oxygen needed to balance the ecosystems. Consider God's signature, the rainbow.

The 12th century Scottish Christian mystic, Richard of St. Victor said, "The whole of this sensible world is like a book written by the finger of God." Look at nature and wonder at the creative design of the hundreds of thousands of species of animals like the tiger, the elephant, the great whales, and the millions of species of birds, just to name a few.

Consider the planet we live on. "The Earth is a rough sphere about eight thousand miles in diameter, which means that it's about four thousand miles straight down to the center. We're accustomed to thinking of it as a ball of rock, but that's not so: the great majority of the Earth is liquid - molten rock called magma swirling, incredible slowly, beneath our feet. The solid part of the earth that we live on, and in whose hollows the sea sits, is called the crust, and on average it's only a few miles thick - maybe ten miles. That's like a layer a third of a millimeter thick coating a football. We live on that incredibly fragile, thin layer of plates floating on the subterranean sea of magma."*

Yes, God has revealed Himself in His creation.

there's only grace

2009-12-03T11:20:00.004-06:00

"During 2009, attacks by Chinese officials on house church Christians grew more vicious. Raids on house churches increased. Arrests & imprisonments of pastors & evangelists skyrocketed.... The year 2009 brought unprecedented persecution to Chinese believers."
-Article in this month's Voice of the Martyrs newsletter

God has recently called me to be aware & to pray for the persecuted church around the world. We can get so caught up in our religious freedoms here, that it's beyond us that millions of people in countless other countries are being physically persecuted for loving Jesus. People are not allowed to own Bibles. They are not allowed to teach their children about Jesus. They are not allowed to worship through song. They are arrested, forced out of their homes, beaten to the point of death by the police & government officials.

So many prayers come to me when I think of it. I pray for their strength, for them to know the comfort & encouragement of Jesus that moment, for government officials to come to know Jesus through the people they are persecuting... but then sometimes I pray, why?? Why do they go through such horrifying, detestable things, when I simply fear that someone won't like me because of my love for Jesus? There is a certain amount of guilt I am tempted to feel when I consider it all - the cards they have been dealt, compared to the life I live. I feel spoiled, selfish.

God gave me this truth in an instant yesterday: every good thing comes from Him (James 1:17). I do nothing to deserve any of it, & can do no amount of good to continue receiving any kind of good circumstance. My life is not a result of my efforts or my self-righteousness. EVERYTHING IS BY HIS GRACE. It is by His grace that I am not living in China or the Philippines or India or Sudan. It does not mean that He loves me more than He loves those being persecuted. In fact, they know Jesus, as their provision, their hope, their comfort, in a way I will most likely never know Him. I can't compare myself to them. God places us all in very different lives & circumstances. What matters is not how much better or worse my life is compared to yours (any measure of that is through the eyes of the world anyways), but that I seek to know Jesus & obey Him in every aspect of my life, the same way the believers in Indonesia do. That I am thankful in all circumstances (1 Thess 5:18). That Jesus is my hope, my supply, my all.

So, pray with me for the persecuted church. Pray that they are thankful in all circumstances. Pray for the Church to continue to grow, despite the efforts of the governments around the world. & find hope in the fact that this is NOT our home, but we will one day inhabit the NEW earth (2 Peter 3:13, Rev. 21:1-8)... we'll be in a good place when we (I'm praying this for myself & all believers) can live with that always in mind.

Where o where is my creativity??

2009-11-25T14:33:00.006-06:00

The car is packed & Sage is walking around whining because she knows we're going on a car ride soon, & she LOVES going in the car so she's very antsy. We're not sure if Josh will get let off soon or not so we're just waiting around......

Anyways, lately I have really wanted to be crafty. By nature, I'm two things - decently good at things (when I work at it), & a bit of an OCD perfectionist - in an anal kind of way of course, like I freak out if one curly-q is not quite like the others. This is frustrating, because I'd love to be crafty, but I get so easily frustrated, I quit. I've recently been thinking about conquering that analness (is it even possible?). I want to sew, I want to be able to make pillows & make cards & homemade gifts for people & do crafts with our kids one day. I'm starting by making something as a Christmas gift this year for a few people. It's not really something I can mess up, I don't think, so it's a good place to start. I also have a friend that has a card-making class every month that I'd like to attend to try my hand at that. My friend Molly is super duper creative... if I could have an ounce of her talent (& clearly, patience!) I'd be happy! So, thus begins my new endeavor. Maybe I will succeed.

I'll show you my homemade Christmas gift after Christmas! I am excited about it.

I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving! This is what I am thankful for:

"But when the goodness & loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to His own mercy, by the washing of regeneration & renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by His grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life."
Titus 3:4-7

double-edged sword

2009-11-17T15:48:00.006-06:00

I am fully aware I have been a blogging loser lately.

Oh well.

This past weekend Dr. Ralph Neighbour came to speak at a leadership event at our church, & also preached on Sunday. It was a great weekend; he has so much wisdom. I could just sit & listen to his stories of God moving all day long. He wrote The Arrival Kit, a great mentoring study we do at our church, as well as Christ's Basic Bodies which I told you about here (& lots more books). He is a sweet, yet bold, 80-year-old man that we were so blessed to have with us for three days. It was also a great time of worship & ministry to each other. I am amazed at the people in the Body of believers our church represents, & so thankful for them.

Josh & I are going to read through the Bible together, both of us reading a couple of chapters a day separately then talking about them. I'm also reading through all the commentary in my study Bible as we go along, which takes some time but I love the extra information. I'm excited to see what the Lord does through it; we had a lot to talk about yesterday & it was just over creation - I mean, we've read that passage so many times - but I love how the Word has something new to offer every time I read it!

I'm trying a frittata for the first time tonight - I'll post it on the new recipe blog if it's any good!

Whole new recipe blog!

2009-11-10T16:51:00.004-06:00

I'm so excited; me & 8 of my friends are now contributing to a recipe blog! I can't wait to try lots of new recipes that I know they love.

Check it out!! Tried & True Recipe Share!

Scripture memory

2009-11-09T11:51:00.003-06:00

Though you have not seen Him, you love Him. Though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him & rejoice with joy that is inexpressible & filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
1 Peter 1:8-9

Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely, & may your whole spirit & soul & body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it.
1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

Therefore, preparing your minds for action, & being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
1 Peter 1:13

Somebody had to do it

2009-11-05T17:30:00.005-06:00

Josh & I love going to Spurs games! Josh was a fan long before we moved here, & I enjoy watching basketball, & because they are our only pro team (opposed to Houston & Dallas) the whole city loves the Spurs - it's pretty hard not to.

Last week my parents came down & took us to dinner then to the opening game of the season against the Hornets. We creamed 'em. Then our friends Matt & Whitney (shout out to my blog-reading friend!) invited us to a game on Halloween so of COURSE we said yes. Matt got the tickets from his company & they were AWESOME seats.

I'm sure if you watch sports news, you have heard about this story, I'd just like to say I was there. :-) So during the game, Whitney goes, "hey, there's a bird in here" & we talked about how that was sad. Then it flew closer & I said, "I don't think that's a bird... that's a bat!" then of course we got grossed out. So Mr. Bat flies down to the court & is flying around with the players, who started ducking & moving out of the way of the bat so they stopped the game. I have to say, it is really funny to see huge guys scared. Mr. Bat flew off & the game resumed. Then he came back & stopped the game again. At this point, the Coyote comes out in a Batman costume with a net, & one of the refs is given a towel to try to catch Mr. Bat. That wasn't working out. So as Mr. Bat is flying by Manu Ginobili, Manu reaches out & SMACKS the bat down on the ground, then doesn't hesitate to reach down & pick up the bat & walk it off the court! Everyone jumped to their feet & went crazy, cheering & chanting, "Manu, Manu!" Then a trainer ran on the court to give him a squirt of hand sanitizer. Josh, who wears Manu's number on his Spurs shirt, said, "THAT'S how they do it in Argentina!!"

I read in the paper the next day (the article was really funny) that one of the Kings players said, "Somebody had to do it, & it wasn't gonna be me."

Anyways it was a good time. Oh ya, we beat the Kings too. :-)

Now I must go de-seed some jalapenos... Josh is grilling tonight & we always grill some cream-cheese filled jalapenos. Yumm!

Marriage Memo: Five Things I Wish I Had Known Before I Was Married

2009-10-23T14:55:00.001-05:00

by Dave Boehi (from the Family Life Marriage emails I get)

#1: Marriage is not all about you. It's not about your happiness and self-fulfillment. It's not about getting your needs met. It's about going through life together and serving God together and serving each other. It's about establishing a family. It's about committing your lives to each other even though you may be very different in 10, 20, or 40 years from the people you are now.

#2: You are about to learn a painful lesson--you are both very selfish people. This may be difficult to comprehend during the happy and hazy days of courtship, but it's true, and it shocks many couples during their first years of marriage. It's important to know this revelation of selfishness is coming, because then you can make adjustments for it, and you will be a lot better off.

#3: The person you love the most is also the person who can hurt you the deepest. That's the risk and pain of marriage. And the beauty of marriage is working through your hurt and pain and resolving your conflicts and solving your problems.

#4: You can't make it work on your own. It's obvious that marriage is difficult--just look at how many couples today end in divorce. This is why it's so critical to center your lives and your marriage on the God who created marriage. To make your marriage last for a lifetime, you need to rely on God for the power and love and strength and wisdom and endurance you need.\

#5: Never stop enjoying each other. Always remember that marriage is an incredible gift to be enjoyed. Ecclesiastes 9:9 says, "Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun."

Enjoy the little things of life with your spouse: the food you enjoy together at home or in restaurants ... the movies you like ... the little inside jokes nobody else understands except for you ... the times you make each other laugh ... the games you play together.

And focus on making memories together: Plan special dates and weekend getaways. Make sure you reserve time for each other after you have kids.

When you are old, you won't look back and remember how great it was to buy that new furniture or watch that great show on television. You're going to remember what you did together and saw together and created together. (Emphasis mine.)

Why I love Williams-Sonoma

2009-10-22T16:27:00.004-05:00

I llooovvee Williams-Sonoma.

Target is my favorite store, because of all it offers (including Starbucks!) & its availability. I go there about once a week, whether I need to or not. The clothing stores I love are financially out of reach (Anthropologie, Banana Republic, White House Black Market) unless I am at the outlet or in front of their clearance rack, but I always wander through them to appreciate what they make. But my favorite specialty store... Williams-Sonoma for sure.

I love to cook you know, so what could be more fun than looking at crazy cooking gadgets & pans you can't afford but dream of using & cookbooks & sauces & fun things like lemon peel twists? Oh I'm tempted to hop in my car right now & go enjoy it all.

I've only ever bought one thing there (altho I have an apron & pot holder I got as a gift, pink & green of course) - their Balsalmic Vinegar. YUMMM.

I tell Josh often, one day when our kids graduate high school, I'm going to go work at Williams-Sonoma. I would LOVE that.

Anyways, a couple of weeks ago Josh & I were in there, & Nespresso, a company that sells their espresso machines at WS, had a representative in the store demonstrating the machines - therefore making yummy cappuccinos & espressos! So we got some delicious drinks & drooled over the machines that made cappuccinos & espressos close to how they make them in Italy (which makes sense since it is a European machine). SO, last weekend when I was in Austin, I (forcefully?) suggested my mom, my sister & I go by to check the machines out (slash... get a cappuccino).

It was samples galore when we walked in! Free coffee drinks, pumpkin spice cake, snickerdoodle cake with cream cheese frosting, & apple cider! Yes I had one of each. & I walked out with three free booklets - Thanksgiving recipes, Thanksgiving tips, & olive oil facts.

Williams-Sonoma + fall samples = HAPPY me. I LOVE that store!

2009-10-09T11:07:00.002-05:00

"The saying is trustworthy & deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display His perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in Him for eternal life. To the King of ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor & glory forever & ever. Amen."
1 Tim. 1:15-17

"First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, & thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings & all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful & quiet life, godly & dignified in every way. This is good, & it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved & to come to the knowledge of the truth. For there is one God, & there is one mediator between God & men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time."
1 Tim. 2:1-6

Concert!

2009-10-08T16:26:00.003-05:00

Monday night Josh & I went to a concert! Not many bands of mine come to San Antonio, I usually have to drive to Dallas or Houston, so it was exciting that Mae came to SA Monday, we just had to go. The concert didn't start until 8, & three bands opened for Mae so I knew it was going to be a late night, so we headed to Starbucks first & sat & chatted for a while. That alone was a lot of fun too, we need to do that more often.

We didn't know any of the opening bands so we listened half-heartedly, then after the second band we headed outside where the merchandise was. We were standing at the table checking things out & the lead singer of the band that had just played, Deas Vail, walked up & started chatting with us, until we realized some actual fans wanted a picture so we headed off, then ended up talking to the bass player. We eventually realized he was a believer so the conversation became meaningful. He told us about their band & their ministry. They are not a "Christian band" but they are all believers that want to make music & travel to minister to the bands they perform with. He shared some stories & Josh & I were so encouraged by his heart, & were able to encourage him by letting him know we could tell he & the lead singer were believers before he even said anything. Don't you love that? The Holy Spirit in us makes us aware when we are talking to someone else with the Holy Spirit... cool! I also loved that we were able to talk to him & will probably never see him again on earth, but we will pray for him & the band, & will see them in heaven! Anyways it was a very encouraging, uplifting conversation & you should check that band out! Deas Vail, which means Servant of God (Deas is Latin, & Vail is old French, I believe).

It was fun to see Mae perform. You know how you listen to a voice for so long, either in a band or on the radio, & then you eventually see the face that goes with the voice, & sometimes it matches up to you, & sometimes it doesn't? It didn't match up to me. Mae has come on my ipod a few times since then & I think of the lead singer's face, & it is still funny.

Anyhow, it was a pretty small showing, probably about 100 people in a fairly small venue, so we were comfortably 10 feet from the stage. That being said, it was weird because Josh & I both made eye contact with the lead singer several times - usually when you see a band they don't see you too! Josh said he felt bad because he wasn't singing along since he didn't know the words, & he was caught.

& we were out until 12:30! Can you believe it, us old fogies? We were super tired the next day. But it was worth it! A fun night.

Recipe: Enchilada Casserole

2009-10-07T18:13:00.003-05:00

I made enchilada casserole tonight & it was yummy. Josh said it "actually tastes Mexican, not like a caucasian tried to make it." So I guess that means it's good? I thought so, anyways! I don't know where I got the recipe (I have a Word document full of recipes I find & want to try), but I certainly didn't make it up.

Easy Enchilada Casserole

Ingredients
1 medium onion, chopped
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 (19-ounce) can enchilada sauce
1 (16-ounce) can black beans, rinsed and drained
1 (14 1/2-ounce) can diced tomatoes with jalapenos
1 (11-ounce) can Mexican-style corn, drained
1 teaspoon fajita seasoning or chili powder
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 (10-ounce) package 6-inch corn tortillas
3 cups chopped cooked chicken*
3 cups (12 ounces) shredded Mexican four-cheese blend

Preparation
Saute onion in hot oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat until tender. Stir in next 6 ingredients. Reduce heat to low, and cook, stirring often, 5 minutes or until thoroughly heated.

Spoon one-third of sauce mixture in bottom of a lightly greased 13- x 9-inch baking dish. Layer with one-third of tortillas, half of chicken, and 1 cup cheese. Repeat layers with one-third each of sauce mixture and tortillas, remaining chicken, and 1 cup cheese. Top with remaining tortillas, sauce mixture, and 1 cup cheese.

Bake at 350° for 15 to 20 minutes or until golden and bubbly.

Prep: 15 min., Bake: 20 min.

*2 pounds lean ground beef, cooked, may be substituted.

**My modifications: obviously used onion powder instead of onion, & added garlic powder as well. I also substituted hominy for corn; I thought that sounded better & it did taste good.

Fall in spirit if not in weather!

2009-10-02T15:18:00.003-05:00

Hobby Lobby had all fall decor 50% off so I bought a couple things for the house! Featuring some real pumpkins & gourds... I think they are so fun!

Italy part 5 - summary & observations

2009-10-01T16:20:00.005-05:00

Basically, it was a wonderful vacation. We saw so many things that I will always remember, learned about Italian culture, & discovered where my home on the New Earth is located. :-) Josh & I really hope to go back one day.

I’ll leave you with the remainder of the notes I took:
-Italians eat their pizza folded. & yes there is a lot of pizza in Italy. Thin crust, not much sauce, with olive oil. Very good.
-Ambulances in Venice are boats. (Josh loved hearing the police car noise in Italy, because he had heard it often in movies & it’s so different than here.)
-Europeans are apparently really into see-through clothing right now. You could definitely see undergarments under the white.
-It is impossible not to get lost in Venice.
-They don’t seem to use ice often. & you have to order (& pay for) water there. It comes out in a big glass bottle. & they ask you, “gas or no gas?” because they drink carbonated.
-Colored denim is very popular there – we saw green & purple pants on men!

-They do time the military way – dinner at 1800.
-I sneezed a lot. Apparently I’m allergic to something there.
-Some public restrooms do not have toilet paper, or the seat part (you know, the part men lift up). Luckily I looked before I sat in the restroom at the Venice train station, so I didn’t get myself stuck in an unpleasant situation.
-Carnival is a big deal in Venice’s history (like when they would wear masks & party lots). They also have lions everywhere; they represent Venice.
-Florence has lots of motorcycles/vespas.
-“Prego” is Italian for: yes; can I help you; you’re welcome; please. Confusing at first, great when you realize you can say it in lots of different scenarios.
-The brooms they use look like our version of witches’ brooms.
-Getting rid of cellulite is apparently very important to Italians. There were advertisements everywhere.
-Americans linger over drinks (like meeting for coffee, going to bars to socialize) while Italians linger over food (they have 2-hour long meals).
-Drivers don’t get angry. They are very aware of pedestrians & other cars. Honking has a purpose (saying “here I am” instead of, like Americans do, “you blankity-blank-blank!”). People help each other without being asked… more of a sense of community, not as individualized as Americans are.
-In some sandwich shops & cafes, it costs money to sit at the table instead of standing at the bar. -We got a cappuccino & an espresso for 1,80 Euro. CHEAP!
-They switch the use of the comma & period in numbers… for one thousand, they do 1.000, & for one-fifty, they do 1,50.
-We watched a Spanish version of Deal or No Deal in Rome. & there were not nude people on European TV like I feel like we are led to believe.
-I love the Fiat cars there. They are super cute.
-There were kissing nuns in Florence that were pretty creepy… they made kissing noises & if they came up to you & you let them kiss you on the cheek, they made you give them money. But we did not encounter gypsies nor we did we feel like we had to be as careful to watch for pickpocketers as we had read we should be.
-Italians are more formal than we are (& so come across as less-friendly sometimes, but our tour guide Todd assured us that is not the case). They are also more laid-back, less schedule-driven.

I hope you enjoyed reading through our trip! I leave you with a few more pictures.

Where Peter's remains are buried under St. Peter's Basilica in Rome

The Doge's Palace in Venice at night

Our espresso & cappuccino... oh I miss Italian cappuccinos, so yummy!

Fiat :-)