What is currently in my brain - a quick post

I'm so lame when it comes to blogging these days. Honestly, with the lack of free time I have, when the children are sleeping, the laundry is done & the house is (somewhat) clean, & I can choose what to do for a little bit, blogging doesn't land high on the priority list. But I'll give it a shot; start typing & see what comes out.

I feel we are in an interesting phase right now. Just trucking along, life as usual. In some ways, we are waiting. Waiting to see what God has, & when He has it. (Yes, I'm being vague.) In other ways, I'm just enjoying things. I'm enjoying my boys at this age & trying to do fun things with them. I'm trying to have intentional relationships with people. I'm trying to get a break every now & then (got a haircut last night, cucumbers on the eyes & arm rub included!).

Lots of things to pray about. Lots of things heavy on my heart. Lots of things I yearn for & desire to see come to pass but I've definitely learned by now that just because I want something doesn't mean it's what is best for me. Learning to trust God to move when it's time. I know that He will, yet it's so hard to hold myself back & keep myself from grasping at some kind of control.

In other superficial news, can I lament on the Christmas-ing that is going on at the BEGINNING OF NOVEMBER? Ugh. I mean, I saw Christmas lights up & reindeer prancing at a shopping center when it was still October! Do you people realize we now "celebrate" Christmas 1/6 of the year? Overkill? Yes. All because of money? Sigh. So, I will ignore all of those twinkling lights & red Starbucks cups until the day after Thanksgiving.

Now when radio stations start playing Christmas carols in about a week? My head might explode.

Brothers

All of a sudden, the boys have started acting like typical brothers (or I guess I should say siblings, since I have no real life experience to tell me what brothers should act like) & it's so fun! They giggle together, making the same noises back & forth, or splashing or hitting each other with balloons. They fight over toys - it's really funny to me how at just 12 months, Jack starts crying & looks straight for me to do something when Elliot takes something from him. Usually, Elliot is scrambling to gather his toys & hoards them from Jack, who wants to play with him, & Jack gets upset. Or Jack grabs something that Elliot doesn't want him to have, & Elliot grabs it back, & Jack screams with the strength of ten 1-yr-olds. It cracks me up (with the exception of the times it frustrates me, because it does wear on a mom!).

I suppose it comes with Jack no longer really being a baby. Even though he's not walking yet, he has developed so much in the past couple of months. I love this age. So much learning & exploring. & Elliot seems to really enjoy it too. They love each other & it's so fun to watch their relationship develop.

Birthdays

...Are a big deal around this house.

It's a celebration - of that person, of their life, of what God is doing in & through them. To me, that is worthy of streamers on their door & lunch with Daddy & their favorite treats, & of course a party, with people that have a significant role in their lives. This year, for Jack, that means family, our life group, & close friends. For Elliot, since he's older & understands his birthday a little bit, that means family & his friends (& their parents, who we conveniently are friends with). So I've been spending time party planning (two birthdays less than a month apart! Maybe they'll want a joint party one day?). Elliot's party will be simpler (he is easy to please) but Jack's is a little more involved - the first year is a big deal, y'all! Especially to me. My baby isn't a baby anymore... sigh. (I promise I'll stop lamenting about it sooner or later.)

As a parent, it is a joy to see people love on your kids. It is a blessing to know that they are prayed for outside of your home. I am thankful for the people who are, & who will be in the future, heavily involved in the lives of my children. This raising kids thing is no joke. It takes a village, as they say. It truly does! I have relied on the prayers of others to get me through these first three years of parenting, & I know that dependency will continue through the years. & my kids need to see other people love Jesus, teach them spiritual truths, & show them what it is to be a part of the Body of Christ.

I pray that my kids will always feel loved - not only by the people in their lives, but by their Heavenly Father. I want them to realize their significance. I want them to know that they are highly valued, because they are made in the image of their Creator, with a purpose. I want them to know that every one of their characteristics - from what the world deems as good, down to the completely quirky - was hand-picked by their Maker & is something to be confident in, because as they walk in the Spirit through life, He has a reason for it all. I hope to teach them all of these things consistently throughout their days, but on their birthdays especially, I want them to know - to understand - what a big deal they are in our eyes & in the eyes of Jesus. Not because of what they do, but who they are, through the shed blood of Christ. A child of the King.

In the next month, I'll celebrate both of my boys, & what God has done in their lives so far, also anticipating what He will do. He is good, & they are evidence in my life of that truth. They are worth celebrating!

Intentionally Eucharisteo

So I'm in the process of weaning Jack, with the goal of being done around his birthday in a month (I won't go into the "I thought about going longer but then he stopped nursing and who wants to keep pumping & I can't believe I'm about to officially declare my baby no longer a baby by weaning & I think I'm going to cry now" side of it) & I'm starting to feel... different. Like I'm slowly coming out of a deep, dark fog that I didn't realize I was in for almost 2 years of pregnancy & nursing. My body seems to be getting itself back into gear & I am finding myself actually motivated to do... things. Like, not just lay around like a slug during nap time (okay, not every nap time. It is a process, you know.). And, let me tell you, it is a good thing to feel almost like a normal human again!

Along with this physiological change, I am sensing a new work being done by the Spirit in me that I'm not sure I can fully describe (because I'm not sure I yet fully understand it) but I know that it is good. I am reading "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp (writer, farmer's wife, & homeschooling mom extraordinaire of 6 kids) for our book club. I haven't read one of the book club books in a while, because of the aforementioned lack of involvement with the world outside of keeping my children & myself alive, but I had determined to read this one because I had heard how good it is. And, it is! (Some people are bothered by her writing style - it's very different, poetic - but the message is so good, I'd say, press on.) As a result of the book, I have seen that the way that I think is changing. I am more inclined to see things to be thankful for, instead of complain about. & this thankfulness had lead to a wonderful living in the moment, dwelling, enjoying. I am able to get past the tantrums & the crying & fully drink in the little moments of giggles & silly phrases & snuggles. (Eucharisteo is the word that Ann dives into, realizing that thankfulness is what leads to full life, to joy, to transformation.)

I have also been challenged to be intentional - in everything. I'm praying through my schedule to see what God has for us in this season, for each day. Casual time with my kids, time with Elliot doing preschool activities, time with Josh, time in intentional relationship with others, social activities, exercise, etc. I'm not entirely sure what this next year will look like yet for us, but I think it's going to be good. I'm excited to see what God has for me, & for our days, during the week & on the weekends with Josh.

I love to see God working in me. It's not me. But I am fully on board, inviting the Spirit to do whatever He wants in me. Abiding in the Spirit & yielding to Him produces what only He can accomplish, & that's what I want for my life. It's a process. But it is true life at its fullest!

One

My little baby will be one year old soon. How can that be? Somehow it happens so suddenly. You're snuggling your little one & you think, what are his feet doing all the way down there? He's surely not that long. All of a sudden, he's standing at his crib when you walk in his room; he's being tackled by his older brother & thinking it's funny; he's diving off the bed & you catch him by the foot & he thinks that's funny too.

Surely not.

Sigh.

To Do List

-Finish Jack's birthday book

-Plan Jack's birthday party

-Plan Elliot's birthday party

-Start to make/gather preschool materials to work on with Elliot this year at home

-Plan out our family schedule for the next year, including daily/weekly activities

I just got a good chunk of Jack's birthday book done today during nap time. Lately, I've been so tired again (I was doing okay there for a while, what happened??) so I've had no motivation to do anything productive during nap time, which isn't good. I've got to get my booty into gear to get all of this stuff done in the next few weeks! Fall is so busy for us, but I love it & am looking forward to all of our fun birthday celebrations & activities!

Morning at the Farmer's Market

This morning, Josh went to help a family in our life group pack up to move, so the boys & I headed to the farmer's market for a bit. It's a super fun atmosphere, & along with the expected produce, meat, & eggs, you can also buy specialty breads & breakfast items, coffee, honey, wine, chocolate, body products, & even crepes (so good). Even though Elliot would love to walk around out there, there are a lot of people there so I had both boys in the stroller. We checked out all the booths, bought a muffin to share, & sat for a bit to eat. I got some coffee & bought a couple items, then we made our way over to an old train car that is on display in an area that is away from the crowds. I lifted Elliot up on to the train, & he loved being up there by himself. He got to run around a bit & threw some sticks into the fountain & kept saying he didn't want to go home. We had to leave to get the pesto & eggs in the fridge, so I promised we'd be back in a couple of weeks.

This morning was nothing special, but I'm thankful for simple memories made with my boys.