Book Review: Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis

This is a doozey of a book to be my first review, but it was indeed July's book, so here we go!!

This book is based on the myth of Psyche & Cupid. If you are not familiar with the myth, there is a summary in the very back of the book - it would have been nice to read that BEFORE reading the rest of the book! Needless to say, I was thoroughly confused the entire time I read the book. In my defense, I don't know that Lewis wanted it to make sense entirely - as we discussed in book club, we had to come to several conclusions on our own, & even still we are not sure of them.

The plot: the myth is retold from the perspective of Psyche's sister, Orual, the ugly one (Psyche's beauty is praised by all), & is Orual's journey to learn about the gods, & why they do what they do, specifically in regard to her sister Psyche. She writes out her story as a charge, an accusation, of the gods, while putting a different spin on the original myth. Her accusation is most of the book, then a small section at the end is her "answer" to the accusation (all told in story form).

What we talked about in book club: Apparently CS Lewis was really into myths, & he thought myths of gods to be the result of early humanity's search to understand THE God. So he used this myth to eventually point to the only God. (There are entire courses at seminary based on CS Lewis so we had to find this out from one girl's brother-in-law who is a pastor.) The book made a lot more sense to me after we all talked it out, mainly because I just needed a background for the book to understand it & what Lewis was aiming at. There are several themes running through the book that I became aware of after the book made more sense to me (but I definitely didn't catch them as I read it).

Recommendation: Hmm, I think one day I'll read it again, having an appropriate understanding of the book, & I'll probably like it more then. But if it sounds intriguing to you, do read it & let me know what you think. :-)

Blog overhaul

I felt the itch for some change in my life, & here you see the result! I changed up the template, & added labels to each post so you can read all of my posts about "our home," or whatever topic, by the click of a button (see left, scroll down). I also changed the title. As you should know, I love coffee, & to me it represents relationships, conversation, focus with the intent of listening (whether this is all with another person or with the Lord), as I feel that this blog, why I blog, is to not only keep you updated on what's going on in our lives, but to share my thoughts with you, things God has impressed on my heart, or things that randomly pop into my head (& I would think you read it so you can know these things as well, any other reasons I would like to know of :-) ).

I have also decided to start putting up more recipes & pictures, & I will be introducing book reviews. I am in a book club for our church so I think it would be fun to review the book we read each month (& perhaps some of the books I read on my own).

Hopefully I'll become more diligent about posting as well. :-)

C

We Recycle Now.

I know right? First we get all gas-conscious by trading the SUV for a Corolla, & now THIS?! Are we GREEN??? Okay, probably not. One day I just decided we should start recycling. San Antonio something-or-other-recycling-whatever provides homeowners with a green bin that you can fill with recyclables & they pick it up once a week. There is a lot of stuff we just throw away that we can recycle!! I have a complex about hating to be wasteful, so this fits in perfectly with my mental issues, plus it's good for the environment & what not. So, you should recycle too. :-)

This weekend we had lots of fun with Paige & Jason. We had planned on floating the river, so we went to the spot that Josh & I like, away from the beaten path, & the river that last year took us an hour & a half to float was this year going to take FIVE & a half hours!! It is so low because of the current drought. So, we opted to kayak instead!! Aren't we adventurous?? It was fun (altho it got really tiring toward the end, especially since the wind starting making the water flow backwards for about a mile making it seem like we were paddling upstream), but at one point Jason's kayak knocked mine from the side, pushing me to the right, & right into a tree stump - where a WATER MOCCASIN was nested!!! Oh my. It was really big, & it couldn't have been more than 4 feet from my face. I freaked out juuusstt a little bit. I don't think it ever moved, but I had instant visions in my head of it's big, white fangs bursting forward & sinking themselves into my face, causing me to die a painful death in the middle of the Guadalupe. But alas, I lived to tell the tale. I think it will be a while before I go hanging out in snake-infested waters again tho....

C

Jesus & friends

We have some new friends. Their names are Caleb & Laura (their blog is to the right, The Schafer's blog, if you are interested). I am so blessed by their friendship. Within two times of being around each other, the four of us instantly became good friends, & it's because so much of our conversation is based on the truth of the gospel. We talk about God's Word, how He is working in our lives, about lies & deception we see, about how we struggle & need accountability (this last one is something that should be done girl to girl, guy to guy by the way). They have encouraged us to be bold in speaking to strangers about Jesus. Together we have made packages to give to the homeless we see. Laura & I set a precedent of being real, admitting neither of us like putting on any kind of facade & knowing that whatever the other says is real & honest, not what we "should" say. They are in our life group, along with other amazing couples, & along with these relationships, just being at our church for the past year has painted such a beautiful picture of the Body of Christ to me. There is so much love, service, encouragement, prayer, accountability, & support in that church, all based around truth & unity. God sure knew what He was doing when He told us what the church should look like. It should point us & others to Jesus, & I am amazed that God has allowed us to be a part of something so glorifying to Him, not just our church body, but the personal relationships Josh & I have with others.

At the same time God is trying to teach me how to love people. Selflessness is a difficult thing to master, mainly because the only way we can be selfless is by keeping our minds on Jesus, & unfortunately in a world of self-made agendas & pursuits, that is a battle. But He is showing me how to love & serve, not just people I know but people I don't know as well, & with a right heart, without judgment, with compassion & mercy. Apparently this is hard for me.

God is doing a lot of things, some good, like the first paragraph, some challenging, like the second. But I am so thankful that He finds me worthy of refinement & blessings.

I am so excited... we are planning a vacation! We had thrown around a few ideas of places to go, since we'd like to take some sort of vacation each year, but everything was a little (or a lot) on the pricey side of things. But, Josh's BFF (aeaeae) Zac just moved to DC, & we just earned our second free flight with our credit card (we pay it off each month, we just use it for the benefits & to boost our credit score), SO we are planning a trip to DC! We are super excited. We have never been there, & Zac will be a great tour guide since he has seen all the sites. We are also planning on taking the AmTrak to Philadelphia. It will be a really fun (& cheap!!) vacation!!

Jason & Paige are coming to stay with us this weekend, yay! We have some fun plans... it will be a good time!!

Have a great fourth of July!

C

Thoughts on adoption

Many of you who know us well know we plan to adopt at least one child one day, most likely a trans-racial baby, & most likely through New Life Adoption Agency. I have always wanted to adopt, although never felt a true calling to adopt until Josh & I were doing premarital counseling with the Bacaks, who have two adopted children (who are ADORABLE). Before we were even married, Josh & I both felt a real passion & desire to adopt, specifically through the same agency the Bacaks went through (Jenn's mom also works for the agency). The details are unknown to us - when, how many children, etc. But it's something we are excited about doing in our future.

The other day I was speaking with a friend about adoption (as her & her husband are also planning to adopt, & she is adopted) & all of a sudden I got hit with the reality of it all. What if we get chosen by a birthmom, then she changes her mind right after she has the baby? What will the relationship look like between our adopted child & his/her birthmom throughout his/her life? Our trans-racial child will probably experience racism in his/her life & it will break our hearts. Although I knew these things before, it has never troubled me like it did suddenly. But then I realized almost as soon as these things hit me - it doesn't matter. God has placed this calling on our lives. It doesn't matter how it works out or what happens. The process will most likely be trying, & we will have to learn how to have grace for people who say & do stupid things (see this story from the Bacaks blog). But God has a plan & it will be amazing to see it worked out. I'm excited about it!

My scalp is peeling from getting sun last weekend. It looks like I have big white chunks gathering at my hairline. Grrrooosssssss!!! It's a ponytail day!!

Have a good weekend!

C

List revisions.

I have the hiccups. I am not a fan of the hiccups. You never know when they will come (like when you try to swallow & you hiccup at the same time - OUCH), or when they will end. I used to only get the hiccups before I got sick... no kidding, I would get the hiccups, then within a couple days I would get a cold or something. I don't think that's the case anymore.

So in going through my old blogs I found a list I made at some point... I can't remember what the date was; I'd guess around sophomore year. I found it interesting... so here it is, with updated commentary. :-)

I want to know that every day I've lived has mattered... that some conversation, some experience, some circumstance was memorable or has changed me or someone else in some way.

Amen. That is hard for me these days, when the only time I leave the house is for the occasional work meeting, grocery store & other errands, etc. It's hard to see what God wants for my days right now when my life seems so solitary. I suppose it's true that God has taught me a lot lately. But am I influencing people??

I want to listen to more music - worship, alternative, classical - & absorb the different sounds - melodies, harmonies - & hear the way the words have formed a poetic story.

Well, okay, I seem to have settled into what I like... & that's about all I listen to. You who know me well know I rarely stray from my Christian rock. :-)

I want to be able to speak to complete strangers.

Hmm. Ya, I think I've become better at this, more confident. But it's still hard for me to really engage with people I don't know, like the checker at the grocery store. I want to be able to ask them how I can pray for them. I need to pray for that.

I want to write more often, in different forms, specifically a journal so I can eventually look back & see how God has changed me.

I have two journals - one I update rarely, just to catch up on what's going on in life so I can go back & read it one day & remember, & another that I write in when spending time with the Lord. I write in that one whenever I feel like God has placed a specific thought or idea on my heart, something I want to remember; I write in that one almost every day. I recommend doing that.

I want to live more by emotion & less by logic.

Ha... talk about a switcheroo. No more emotions, please! Being married to Josh has made me realize how much my emotions control my thoughts, my actions, my reactions, & I hate it. Emotions should not guide me because they rarely line up with Jesus (at least in my life)!!

I want a God-given passion to drive me to do my best & work my hardest in everything I do.

I still strive for this. Even in the mundane parts of life, I try to remember that I work as unto the Lord, not man. God deserves my best in what He has asked me to do, even the little things like laundry. I want to have joy in every aspect of my life.

I want to know that Jesus has initiated every circumstance in my life & trust that He will complete everything He begins.

I have been focusing on that verse a lot in the past couple of weeks (I think I mentioned it in my last post). I don't know if you have these days, but sometimes I just feel like the scum of the earth, so far from looking like Jesus it makes me sick. I have to remember - He's still working on me! & He won't give up! He will bring it to completion.

I want to love people, without fear of rejection or hurt, because the love I give will be a blessing, & the hurts I receive will build me into a stronger person.

This is probably one of my main struggles in life. It's hard for me to love people when I don't know if they do/will love me back. (Love meaning actions or pursual of relationship... either one.) I want to be able to, though.

C

Remember the old days?

I have been reading through my old blog from college the past couple of days (since I think it's going to be deleted due to lack of use) & wow it's crazy to reminisce. I remember things I had forgotten, & realized how much God changed me & spoke things into my life in those four years. It's easy to forget where you've come from... who you used to be. It's so comforting to see & remember that God has been working so hard on me in the past several years (or rather I have been letting Him for that long, He probably tried before then with less cooperation from me), & I really see the truth behind the fact that "God will complete the work He has begun in [me]." I guess I'm at one of those points where you realize how far you have to go... that I have a LONG LONG way to go before I look like Jesus... but it's good to see that yes, in fact, I am closer today than I was a year ago, two years ago, etc. It is by the grace of God that I know Jesus better more & more as time goes on.

It also made me miss a few friends &, not that I miss college like I wish I were still there, but I really enjoy remembering it - remembering Java shakes at sweets & studying for hours, hanging out in the MSC, football games, random hangouts with friends... A&M was good to me.

I wish I could print out my old blog in journal format so I could always have it... but it's over three years of blogs, so I'm pretty sure that would be miserable to copy & paste. I think I'll start doing it with this one tho.

Sorry it's been a while since I last updated... I haven't really been in the mood. I'll catch you up on things.

Josh & I celebrated our one-year anniversary in Dallas a couple weeks ago. We stayed at the Hilton near the Galleria (for $55 of course) & had a really yummy meal near downtown (including the best rum cake I have EVER had!). & for those of you curious, yup, our cake was still yummy a year later. I pretty much ate the whole thing (really, Josh only ate one piece, I ate the rest... over a week so I felt less gluttonous).

Work has slowed down a lot for me (just for the summer) so I have set out to do things around the house, like paint our bedroom, get wedding pictures on the walls, etc. I think I'll make our bathroom my July project... it needs new paint on the walls, cabinets, & new cabinet knob things, & new towel racks.

That's it for now. Back to old blog reading....

C