Stuck

When Josh & I were engaged, we began to see, through the couple who led us through premarital counseling, the need for adoption & the blessing it is for families who adopt. We knew before we were married that there was a calling on our lives to adopt, & in the 6 years since then, our passion for adoption has grown. I don't just desire adoption for our family, but I desire to see every orphan have a mommy & a daddy, which is something I constantly pray for.

Last night my friend Sara & I went to a one-night showing of a documentary called Stuck. (Sara & her husband will leave in a few short weeks to pick up their daughter in China.) It is about international adoption & the roadblocks that delay & sometimes prevent children from coming home to their families. It was produced by the Both Ends Burning movement, which hopes to gain a social following that will lead to political change. (Visit the website for more information & to sign the petition that will go to Capitol Hill in May.)

The documentary was very well done & drove me to tears several times; I had to hold back from being *that* sobbing woman who prevents everyone else from hearing the movie. Some of the scenes were too much - seeing babies & children practically stacked on top of each other in institutions, physically malnourished, & in the worst cases, severely mentally damaged due to lack of attention, affection, & mental stimulation. At one point I had to look away because I was so close to breaking into sobs. Conservative estimates say there are 10 million orphans worldwide. I can't even begin to comprehend that number. I so badly want to rock those babies who cry, to hold those children who have never been hugged. I feel so helpless. I know we'll adopt one day. But what is one, two, three kids in the midst of 10 million?

God reminds me that my job is to simply obey, & do what He has set out for us to do. I can't feel responsible for taking care of each orphan. But the burden is there, so I pray. A lot. The world is a broken & hurting place, & I have never been so aware of that fact as I have recently. So many times I am driven to prayer, but I don't know what to pray. But in my cries, I hear the reassuring voice of Jesus. He sees them. He knows. & with that, I must trust. He is a good God. I must believe the promises I see in scripture, & trust in the character of God, that He has this issue in His mighty hands. He sees every last orphan, & He loves them so.

I am so thankful for a God who:
- executes justice for the fatherless (Deut. 10:18)
- is the Father of the fatherless & sets the solitary in a home (Ps. 68:5-6)
- upholds the fatherless (Ps. 146:9)
- sets the Church out to take care of the orphan (James 1:27) & to defend their cause (Isaiah 1:17)
- is their Helper, who takes their cause into His hands (Ps. 10:14)
- is where the orphan finds mercy (Hosea 14:3)

Life Lately

God is still using the Breaking Free Beth Moore Bible study to kick my tail. The first couple of weeks provided enough for me to pray through for a long time, but alas, the study is 10 weeks long. I'm trying to remain in a place of letting God transform me.

Jack is sleeping a lot better for naps, but just as bad as a newborn at night. I think he's legitimately hungry, so I can't do much about that. I'm praying for strength, energy, patience, etc. every day & praying that God will help him sleep better eventually. This season is rough but I know it won't last. (At least, I'm pretty sure it won't.)

We bought plane tickets to Italy! We were provided with the opportunity to meet our friends Zac & Cara in Tuscany for a week & we couldn't pass it up. We've been to Florence & it is my favorite place in the world so far, so I can't wait to go back. We'll get to see more of the countryside this time & get to experience more true Italian life, off the beaten tourist path. It will be so great to get away with my love & best friend, too! 

I've started trying to be more intentional with my time with Elliot. As a result, the TV is off almost all day & we have had some good lessons going over letters, practicing drawing lines & circles, etc. He is at an age where he picks up things so quickly; it's so funny to hear him say things & see what he does that he saw us do. He loves to play with his cars & trains, have play dates with his friends, & go to the park, the children's museum, or the zoo. He loves his brother & goes back & forth between wanting to play with him, & taking away his toys or getting upset if Jack touches him. 

Jack is all of a sudden no longer a little baby. His personality is developing & he has so much more energy. He has decided he wants to be a big boy too, so he loves sitting up (if he's laying down or reclining, he tries to sit up straight), & if you put him on his stomach, he'll lift up & fling his arms & legs around like he's trying to crawl but just can't figure it out. He loves to watch Elliot & thinks he's hilarious. He's still super snuggly & now likes to burrow his face into my shoulder, particularly when he's tired. He is super smiley & rarely cries, except when he's hungry or really tired. It's so fun to see him develop! I thought it wouldn't be as fun the second time because I've experienced it before, but nope, it's just as great.