Bittersweet

I have not known, by experience, the definition of that word as much as I have come to know it in the past couple of weeks.

Four years ago, I started working for our church part-time from home. Long story short, I had prayed a ton about what I should do work-wise, & everything I thought about pursuing, God told me no. He told me to wait. So I did, & then was approached with this opportunity in the right time. It was perfect. I had no desire to pursue a career, I just wanted something to do before we had kids. I loved the people I worked with, it was flexible, & I still had time to hang out with friends during the week, take care of our home, & exercise.

I had always said that I would work until I couldn't both work & be a mom well. Josh & I felt strongly about me being a stay at home mom, so I decided that if my role as a mom was suffering, the job had to go. That realization came a couple of months ago. I knew I couldn't do it any longer, & God confirmed for me that this season was over.

Yesterday was my first day unemployed (though we are still transitioning the role, so I'm still working a smidgen). Sometimes I'm really excited about what God has for me in this new season. We are new Life Group leaders, & I just signed up for MOPS, & am doing a Bible study with our church this fall. & I just know, because the Lord is faithful & I have seen Him do it time & time again, that when I am obedient to what He wants me to do, He blesses me. There is much joy in obedience. So I know it will be good. But I am so, so sad to not be in weekly community with the church staff anymore. I am sad to say goodbye to what has been the past four years. I have had such crazy emotions lately - so very bitter at times, so perfectly sweet at others. I know as I continue to walk this through, it will become more & more sweet. Because my Jesus is good to me. & His ways are perfect.

Remember the old days?

I have been reading through my old blog from college the past couple of days (since I think it's going to be deleted due to lack of use) & wow it's crazy to reminisce. I remember things I had forgotten, & realized how much God changed me & spoke things into my life in those four years. It's easy to forget where you've come from... who you used to be. It's so comforting to see & remember that God has been working so hard on me in the past several years (or rather I have been letting Him for that long, He probably tried before then with less cooperation from me), & I really see the truth behind the fact that "God will complete the work He has begun in [me]." I guess I'm at one of those points where you realize how far you have to go... that I have a LONG LONG way to go before I look like Jesus... but it's good to see that yes, in fact, I am closer today than I was a year ago, two years ago, etc. It is by the grace of God that I know Jesus better more & more as time goes on.

It also made me miss a few friends &, not that I miss college like I wish I were still there, but I really enjoy remembering it - remembering Java shakes at sweets & studying for hours, hanging out in the MSC, football games, random hangouts with friends... A&M was good to me.

I wish I could print out my old blog in journal format so I could always have it... but it's over three years of blogs, so I'm pretty sure that would be miserable to copy & paste. I think I'll start doing it with this one tho.

Sorry it's been a while since I last updated... I haven't really been in the mood. I'll catch you up on things.

Josh & I celebrated our one-year anniversary in Dallas a couple weeks ago. We stayed at the Hilton near the Galleria (for $55 of course) & had a really yummy meal near downtown (including the best rum cake I have EVER had!). & for those of you curious, yup, our cake was still yummy a year later. I pretty much ate the whole thing (really, Josh only ate one piece, I ate the rest... over a week so I felt less gluttonous).

Work has slowed down a lot for me (just for the summer) so I have set out to do things around the house, like paint our bedroom, get wedding pictures on the walls, etc. I think I'll make our bathroom my July project... it needs new paint on the walls, cabinets, & new cabinet knob things, & new towel racks.

That's it for now. Back to old blog reading....

C

How I love those cinnamon crunch bagels...

I have a new store to introduce to Texas. Lush. This place is fun! Josh & I first discovered it in Victoria on our honeymoon, & when we saw it this weekend in Dallas, we had to go in! He bought me a bath bomb, a bubble bar, & my favorite, a massage bar. You rub it & the heat from your skin makes the surface of the bar turn into a creamy moisturizer! The scents are yummy too. They also have solid shampoos, solid soaps, gooey shower gels (that look like jello molds), & lotions, all organic. I'm not an organic-maniac, altho I would definitely shop at World Market if it were cheaper! But this place is just so great! You must make your way to Northpark next time you are in Dallas!

Josh & I also got to stay in a four-star hotel in downtown (the one that is connected to Reunion Tower - the rotating restaurant tower ball thing) for super cheap, ate bagels at Panera Bread (yumm!), & some cupcakes at the LA cupcake hotspot Sprinkles!! I just love Dallas. I love visiting there!

These past few weeks have been really busy with work, & the busyness isn't over yet, but it's been good, & I enjoy having the Lord use me to help people get connected with other believers in our church!

On that note, I'm off to a meeting!

C

I should join the circus

Ahhh... making phone calls makes me CRAZY!!! Especially if I don't know the person I'm calling... I get all sweaty & my chest feels tight (isn't that what happens during a heart attack? Making phone calls is bad for my health!). I would SO rather talk to someone face-to-face. Iccckkkkk. Phonaphobia!!

So, got a story for ya Ags. As you faithful readers know, Josh has dyed my hair twice before, so Sunday he dyed it again. Same color as before, b/c I liked it. Well. For one reason or another (not Josh's fault), the hair in the front of my head is RED. RED. Not auburn. RED. I cried a lot & washed my hair 9 times within 24 hours with a cheap (NOT color-safe!) clarifying shampoo, & I have managed to lessen the harshness a bit. I could actually go in public without wearing a hat today! Altho, I'm sure to the stranger on the street, it's strange that the front of my hair is red, & the back isn't. (Oh, & you should see it in a ponytail, the entire pulled back part is red, & the ponytail part is not.) At least I'm not crying anymore. Let's just say no more dying will be happening to my hair!!

Josh installed a garage door opener for me! It's funny, we didn't even think to ask if there were garage door openers before we put a contract on the house, who would've thought there weren't?? But alas. Josh also replaced some belts in his car recently. What a handy man! He saved us a lot of money doing those things on his own!

I'm so excited. Some girl friends from high school & I have had a girls weekend planned for this upcoming weekend for many months, & it's finally here! It will be so fun & refreshing to get away & just have fun with each other! Esp. since we're all in very different places in the world & in life, we will get to just enjoy being with each other again! Ya!

C

A lesson...

I'm sitting in my favorite coffeeshop where I often come to do work (they make really good iced lattes) & I'm waiting on the pastor I work for to be done with his meeting (in the same coffeeshop) so I can ask him some questions about something I'm doing. I had a really horrible day yesterday - for those of you that were readers of my old blog when I used stars to rate my days - this would have been a two star day (with the one star rating being for death or tragedy). It was mainly emotional; I was feeling a bit lonely, & feeling somewhat purposeless - what am I doing that actually MATTERS?? (Then I hit my face on a door & that left a welp, knocked over gatorade at the grocery store & turned my pants red, & had to call Animal Services because a roaming dog I saw didn't have identification & I didn't want him to be hit by a car. Bad day.)

Back to today. As I wait, I picked up my Bible to do the whole "I don't know what to read right now so I'll just read what I open it up to" thing. It opened up to Acts 6. I thought... "Really? Acts? Well....... okay."

1Now in these days when the disciples were increasing in number, a complaint by the Hellenists arose against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution. 2And the twelve summoned the full number of the disciples and said, "It is not right that we should give up preaching the word of God to serve tables. 3Therefore, brothers, pick out from among you seven men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we will appoint to this duty. 4But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word." 5And what they said pleased the whole gathering, and they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit, and Philip, and Prochorus, and Nicanor, and Timon, and Parmenas, and Nicolaus, a proselyte of Antioch. 6These they set before the apostles, and they prayed and laid their hands on them.
7And the word of God continued to increase, and the number of the disciples multiplied greatly in Jerusalem, and a great many of the priests became obedient to the faith.

It hit me. I am "serving tables!" I am doing things that free up the time of others so they can continue to pray & preach the Word of God. Because of the work of the "table servers," the Word of God continued to increase & the number of the disciples multiplied greatly. So encouraging! I pray that God is able to do things because of my obedience in this job. What a good reminder... the Lord is good to speak to us when we listen!

I'm going to start packing today.... I AM! We close on the house TOMORROW!!

C

Monday, Monday....

Sorry for the lack of updating! We have been busy bees these days. Normal life things, of course, plus house hunting & poor Toby has been sick. (Note: If you hate cats please skip to the next paragraph.) Toby, our kitty, began getting wheezy & sneezy & sounding congested, & turns out he has a horrible bacterial infection (this same bacteria, if in the wound of a human, say, in the leg, means the leg must, often times, be amputated). He had to get sedated & have the gunk cleared out then was put on antibiotics. At his follow-up, we had to get more meds, & were told he might have to come get cleared out again if he continues to get congested. Unfortunately the meds have trouble getting to the infection in the nasal cavity so we're not sure that he's getting better, & we can't afford to continue taking him to the vet every two weeks. We're not sure what's going to happen. So if you don't think praying for cats is stupid, please pray that we will be able to keep Toby & that he will get healthy!

I am really enjoying work. I take my laptop, basically whenever I want, to a coffeeshop, grab an iced latte or a tea, & do my thing! Sometimes I meet with my "boss" or other people that explain things I'll be doing, but it's basically the most flexible, most casual, purposeful job! I just get excited to do it, & that is a great thing. Waiting on the Lord is good! :-)

I'm not sure if I ever updated y'all on this, but Josh re-dyed the parts of my hair that didn't turn out so well, & it looks a lot better! It has faded a bit so it's not as drastic as I had hoped, but I like it being darker. My hair stylist friend Brittany explained to Josh the best way to dye my hair... everyone here thinks it's hilarious that Josh dyes my hair, AND that he's good at it! Seriously, how many women have a husband with a secret talent for hair coloring??

I just love sitting in my apartment, sipping my coffee, smelling yummy candles burning, watching Toby nap... oh then realizing I have some laundry & cleaning to do! Yuck.

Hopefully I will update sooner next time!!

C

a testament to His faithfulness

You all know Josh & I have been praying, & many of you have joined us, for God to reveal to me His plan for my time in this place. Two weeks ago on a Wednesday I felt led to pray very specifically about my situation... so I prayed, as I felt led, that God would show me exactly what He had for me within two weeks & that He would bring it to me. The next day, I was offered part-time positions by two different pastors at our church. Both pastors had been talking & knew that they both were going to offer me positions. I heard about both of them & God confirmed quickly which job I was to take.

I will begin working my way into being the assistant to one of our pastors; I will be doing database work from my own computer on my own time, helping plan events that get new members involved in the church, etc. I'm so excited! Josh & I are so blessed to have been given the opportunity to get to know our church's leadership already, & God is placing me in a spot where I will be part of the growth & change that our church is going through.

God is so good - He knew all along what I would be doing & He brought it right to me at the perfect time. He told me to wait & I did not wait in vain! God knows what He is doing & all we have to do is trust!

Thank you to those of you that have been praying about this - continue to pray that God would continue to change Josh & I to be exactly what He wants us to be, & that He would use us in our church & in Josh's work.

YAY!

J&C