Friday, September 2, 2011

Bittersweet

I have not known, by experience, the definition of that word as much as I have come to know it in the past couple of weeks.

Four years ago, I started working for our church part-time from home. Long story short, I had prayed a ton about what I should do work-wise, & everything I thought about pursuing, God told me no. He told me to wait. So I did, & then was approached with this opportunity in the right time. It was perfect. I had no desire to pursue a career, I just wanted something to do before we had kids. I loved the people I worked with, it was flexible, & I still had time to hang out with friends during the week, take care of our home, & exercise.

I had always said that I would work until I couldn't both work & be a mom well. Josh & I felt strongly about me being a stay at home mom, so I decided that if my role as a mom was suffering, the job had to go. That realization came a couple of months ago. I knew I couldn't do it any longer, & God confirmed for me that this season was over.

Yesterday was my first day unemployed (though we are still transitioning the role, so I'm still working a smidgen). Sometimes I'm really excited about what God has for me in this new season. We are new Life Group leaders, & I just signed up for MOPS, & am doing a Bible study with our church this fall. & I just know, because the Lord is faithful & I have seen Him do it time & time again, that when I am obedient to what He wants me to do, He blesses me. There is much joy in obedience. So I know it will be good. But I am so, so sad to not be in weekly community with the church staff anymore. I am sad to say goodbye to what has been the past four years. I have had such crazy emotions lately - so very bitter at times, so perfectly sweet at others. I know as I continue to walk this through, it will become more & more sweet. Because my Jesus is good to me. & His ways are perfect.

3 comments:

The Links said...

I just joined MOPS and a bible study group at my church too! I'm excited to get to know other Moms that are in the same boat as me!!

Whitney said...

" because the Lord is faithful & I have seen Him do it time & time again, that when I am obedient to what He wants me to do, He blesses me"

So true, friend.

There have been times that I have wondered if I am crazy for doing this job. Seriously. I mean, we're both moms... what makes me think that it IS the right time for me, when it's NOT the right time for you???

Then, I remember that it was not me that wanted to do this to begin with. I was leaning towards "no" originally, and then over the course of a week and a half, God opened my eyes to "yes".

So, I am a little bittersweet too. I think it's ALWAYS a little hard to leave one part of your life (that you've been comfortable with) and move on to another. Yet, like you, I know this is what I am meant to be doing right now, and there will be blessing in it.

We need to plan a play date! Of course, it might need to be in October... :)

Love you much!!!

Sandy said...

The same quote that Whitney left is the one that is so true. There is so much trust in that also.
MOPS is fantastic. I have dear, dear friends to this day from my days in MOPS. It was a huge blessing and I know you will love it.