What a tough week. What a crazy week.
Nothing absolutely horrible has happened, but situations have occurred, the kind where all you can do is pray. You know what I mean? Something happens, or is happening, & you have absolutely no control, nothing you can do will fix or help anything... so you pray. A lot. Surrender anxiety to the peace that only God can give ("do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer & supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts & your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil. 6-7). Through these situations God has also been refining how I pray - my prayers are often very selfish, based on what I want, based on what I think should happen so I can remain comfortable & happy. God has been changing my prayers to what is Biblical - patience, truth, love, joy. I often think I also know how God should do something so He can be glorified. I'm often wrong. God will be glorified, but He knows much better than I do how that should happen ("'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways,' declares the Lord." Isa. 55:8)
Refinement hurts sometimes. But how much more good it is to look like Jesus!
"In time will I be what You're thinking of?" (Jars of Clay - I heard that lyric working out today.)
You know how in the past few months I have been learning more about listening to God every day, being still & silent & hearing Him speak to my heart & obeying what He says? Well. Let me tell you. Be prepared to hear Him!! Today He spoke some hard words for me to swallow. He wants me to let go of my worldly security & trust HIM through obedience & wisdom. He asked me to do something I did NOT want to do. But I did. & I felt immediate freedom! I will have to remain trusting the Lord & not what the world trusts, I must continue to keep my mind & heart set on Him. But He is good! He delivers. He will be glorified in my obedience, & He will take care of me. That's all I need to know.
God is moving & working & changing me, sometimes quicker than I feel ready for. But He is so good & I trust Him. So now let's watch Him move.....