It's Christmastime

I refuse to do anything Christmas-y until the day after Thanksgiving, but once it's Christmastime, I'm all in! I love the trees & the lights on the mantle & the smells & the songs. (Have you ever really listened to the words of Christmas songs? The ones we've always known & have sung since we were little kids? They're about Jesus! [Okay, maybe not Jingle Bells.] Amazing really, that those words are played over secular radio every year. I pray that they bring people to a saving knowledge of Jesus!)

If you know me well, you know my middle name might as well be "tradition." My family jokes that if we do something twice, that means we'll do it forever. I do get stuck in my ways. They are familiar & bring back memories while making new ones all at the same time. But every Christmas, God causes us to think about the ways we celebrate. We want Christmas to be about Jesus. So how do we do that? How do we keep our hearts focused on Him during this time of busyness, traffic, & materialism?

I read this blog yesterday & I love the heart that it comes from. I'm so thankful other families can help lead the way in this desire to do Christmas a little differently. Here is a resource regarding the season of Advent. If you have any great websites, please let me know!

It's all a process, & we just want to make sure our hearts are in the right place. What is eternal & what is pleasing to Jesus? We want to do those things! So every year we consider, & every year something changes. Who knows what Christmas will look like for us in the years to come! But it's a wonderful time of realizing that one night, so many years ago, a baby was born who would become the Savior of the world, & one day that Savior will come back again, riding on a white horse, in victory, to take those of us who love Him to be with Him forever. Amazing!!

Survival Mode

Last week, Elliot got a cold. This really isn't a huge deal, he was just really snotty & kind of grumpy since he didn't feel well. But that meant no Bible study & no gym all week, since that is how long his symptoms persisted. We got out one day & I meandered around Target for as long as I could because we had been stuck at home so long. Elliot also gave his cold to Josh, but I was able to fight it off.

He got better for the weekend, so I was able to go to MOPS & to church on Sunday. Then Monday he got the snots again, so no gym. Then Monday afternoon my throat started hurting. I woke up Tuesday feeling horrible, & went to the doctor to rule out strep since I felt a lot like I did when I had strep a few months ago. Fortunately, it's not strep, but unfortunately it's a viral infection that feels a lot like strep, but since it's viral I can't take any meds to fight it, I just have to let it run its course. Blahh. My throat hurts really bad & I have a lot of fluid on the right side of my face (& ear & throat, etc.) My ears are pressurized. My body hurts. & I have a baby to take care of! Lucky for me, he recently has been much better about playing by himself. So the past couple of days have been me sitting or laying on the floor while he plays. Insert feeding or changing him as needed. & that is the extent of my physical exertion.

I know he won't remember me being a completely lame mom for a few days here & there when I am sick, so I don't have any guilt about it. It is what it is, right? It's not fun, but it'll pass.

So pray for healing for our household! Elliot still has the snots a small bit, but overall seems better. I'm hoping after this week we can get back to normal!

The Early Bird

I have learned, more so now that I am a mom, that if I had to pick one, I'm probably a morning person rather than a night person. I went to bed last night (on a Friday night) at 9:15 because I wanted to. & though I don't necessarily enjoy getting up early, I do enjoy my time in the morning, when it's still dark outside & the world seems quiet... I can make some coffee (pumpkin spice these days, yum) & spend time with Jesus before Elliot wakes up & before I start going on my to-do list for the day. It's quite nice. I woke up at 5:45 this morning (Saturday, you know!) just so I can have that time... me + Jesus + coffee + quiet = a really good combo. :)

Toddlerhood

Something happened when Elliot turned one - it's like his brain switched into toddler-mode. He started the obvious toddler thing to do, which is walk full-time. He decided to get a little louder (which, since he's been a pretty quiet baby so far, still isn't too terribly loud all the time). He decided to exert a little more of his opinion. He lets me know when he wants something, usually by making noise & pointing to it, & also lets me know how upset he is when I don't let him have it. He's letting more of his personality show. Toys are littered across every floor in the house - things that are meant to be toys, as well as empty water jugs, hand towels, & rulers. It just all happened so abruptly! It's all of a sudden a whole new world. Toddlers are very different than babies! But it's been fun. & every time he acts out is just an opportunity for us to show him we don't approve of that kind of behavior, & to show him the right thing to do, which is building the foundation for being a completely obedient child. (Okay, I'm kidding about the "completely" part - but training up a child in the way they should go does start now!)

This past weekend we went to a wedding of a good friend from high school. We got to spend the whole weekend with several of our closest friends, who do not live in San Antonio. Times like those are so sweet & such a blessing. We are totally blessed to have such great friends who have the same values & priorities that we do, & we're so thankful that we are able to maintain those relationships even at a distance. It was a fun & refreshing time. I pray that one day God allows us to live in the same city as some (or all!) of those friends.

Guess I better go clean the bathrooms while Elliot sleeps... sigh. Not my favorite chore... hence the blogging!

So it's been over a month...

I know, it's ridiculous. I mean, I don't work anymore, so shouldn't I have time to blog? The problem is, Elliot doesn't really like for me to do anything on the computer while he's awake. I can get away with cooking or doing laundry (most days), but the computer, not so much. Which leaves only nap time or after bedtime. & I have other things to do, so blogging gets pushed to the back burner.

Elliot is a whole year old!! This year has gone by so fast & at the same time, it feels like it's been forever. It sure causes me to reminisce over what things were like a year ago, & remembering being hugely pregnant & being in the hospital & all of that... crazy. He's definitely a little toddler now. He walks really well, though still enjoys crawling about half the time because he's just faster that way (he tried almost running the other day, which didn't really work out!). He has a sweet little personality, & seems to be a rule follower like his mama - though we also see that human nature rebelling at times! He seems to do new things weekly, many of which crack us up!! The other day he was sticking his tongue out & moving it around for a good five minutes. Good cheap fun! :)

We are entering the busy fall season. First of all, it finally feels like fall outside which is AMAZING. I am enjoying a cup of pumpkin spice coffee as we speak. We went to the pumpkin patch last week & I got my must-have caramel apple. I love this time of year - it is my favorite!

God has been teaching me a lot lately, as well. It has been a good season of growth & really seeing Him move in the people around me. I praise Him for being so intricately involved in our lives - He truly orchestrates even the tiniest details for His glory.

Okay, time to go fold laundry before Elliot wakes up! Thanks for hanging in there during this dry blogging season. :)

The Commitment of Marriage

Sometimes, Christians (whether they actually are Christians or not) say or do really wrong things. It's frustrating & the main reason people don't buy into Christianity - we look like a bunch of hypocrites. I'm the first to say that sometimes I do what I shouldn't, because I am human, but repentance follows (sooner or later!) & I am praying to be more & more like Jesus every day.

Sometimes, I wish I could tell the world - look at JESUS to find out what He is like. He is faithful & true, loving & strong, compassionate & victorious. Read Scripture to know what God says, what His priorities are, what He values & desires.

That being said, I really liked the article I received from Family Life today:

Is It Okay to Divorce a Spouse With Alzheimer's?

by Dave Boehi

I was surprised this week when I read about the comments Pat Robertson made about divorce and Alzheimer’s on The 700 Club. On Tuesday, in a segment where he answers questions from viewers, he was asked the following question:

I have a friend whose wife suffers from Alzheimer’s. She doesn’t even recognize him anymore and, as you can imagine, the marriage has been rough. My friend has gotten bitter at God for allowing his wife to be in that condition, and he’s started seeing another woman. He says that he should be allowed to see other people because his wife as he knows her is gone … I’m not quite sure what to tell him. Please help.

Robertson obviously felt a lot of compassion for the man. “I hate Alzheimer’s,” he said. “It is one of the most awful things, because here’s the loved one, the woman or man that you have loved for 20, 30, 40 years, and suddenly that person is gone, they’re gone. They are gone.”

The next words were disappointing and controversial: “I know it sounds cruel, but if he’s going to do something, he should divorce her and start all over again, but, to make sure she has custodial care and somebody looking after her.”

His co-host broke in and asked, “But isn’t that the vow that we take when we marry someone, that it’s for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer ... ?”

Robertson answered, “Yeah, I know, if you respect that vow, you say ‘til death do us part.’ Well, this is a kind of death. … I can’t fault him for wanting some kind of a companionship, and if he says in a sense she is gone, he is right. It’s like a walking death.”

The importance of your wedding vows

This is an issue I’ve thought about the last few years as I’ve watched different people cope with similar situations. As you grow older, you view your marriage vows through a different lens. Most young married couples, with stars in their eyes, have little idea what they’re saying when they vow to remain together for a lifetime, “for better, for worse … in sickness and in health … ‘til death do us part.”

But after two or three decades of marriage, you begin to understand in a deep way how important those vows are. You realize there will likely come a day when one of you will devote much of your time and energy to taking care of the other.

That’s the normal course of marriage, and of life. Nowhere in Scripture can you find justification for divorce because of old age, illness, or memory loss. And I’ve got to say that it gives you a great sense of comfort and security to know that your spouse is totally committed to you and will never leave, no matter what happens to you.

Caring for a patient with Alzheimer’s may be one of the greatest tests of a marriage. But I think we need to be telling the church today that God will give us the strength to fulfill our vows no matter what situation we find ourselves in. There are ways for a caregiving spouse to meet his needs for companionship without starting a relationship with another woman.

A marriage marked by unshakeable commitment is a beautiful picture of Christ's relationship with the church. Here are some great comments that blogger Russell Moore made yesterday:

Marriage, the Scripture tells us, is an icon of something deeper, more ancient, more mysterious. The marriage union is a sign, the Apostle Paul announces, of the mystery of Christ and his church (Eph. 5). The husband, then, is to love his wife “as Christ loved the church” (Eph. 5:25). This love is defined not as the hormonal surge of romance but as a self-sacrificial crucifixion of self. The husband pictures Christ when he loves his wife by giving himself up for her.

Moore points out that when Christ was arrested, “his Bride, the church, forgot who she was, and denied who he was. He didn’t divorce her. He didn’t leave." Moore goes on to say,

A woman or a man with Alzheimer’s can’t do anything for you. There’s no romance, no sex, no partnership, not even companionship. That’s just the point. Because marriage is a Christ/church icon, a man loves his wife as his own flesh. He cannot sever her off from him simply because she isn’t “useful” anymore.

Someday you or your spouse will likely be faced with this type of test. For your sake and for the sake of your legacy, may I suggest that you choose today how you will respond. Look your spouse in the eye and say:

“No matter what ever happens to you, there are two things you need to know: First, God will never leave you or forsake you. And second, neither will I.”

Bittersweet

I have not known, by experience, the definition of that word as much as I have come to know it in the past couple of weeks.

Four years ago, I started working for our church part-time from home. Long story short, I had prayed a ton about what I should do work-wise, & everything I thought about pursuing, God told me no. He told me to wait. So I did, & then was approached with this opportunity in the right time. It was perfect. I had no desire to pursue a career, I just wanted something to do before we had kids. I loved the people I worked with, it was flexible, & I still had time to hang out with friends during the week, take care of our home, & exercise.

I had always said that I would work until I couldn't both work & be a mom well. Josh & I felt strongly about me being a stay at home mom, so I decided that if my role as a mom was suffering, the job had to go. That realization came a couple of months ago. I knew I couldn't do it any longer, & God confirmed for me that this season was over.

Yesterday was my first day unemployed (though we are still transitioning the role, so I'm still working a smidgen). Sometimes I'm really excited about what God has for me in this new season. We are new Life Group leaders, & I just signed up for MOPS, & am doing a Bible study with our church this fall. & I just know, because the Lord is faithful & I have seen Him do it time & time again, that when I am obedient to what He wants me to do, He blesses me. There is much joy in obedience. So I know it will be good. But I am so, so sad to not be in weekly community with the church staff anymore. I am sad to say goodbye to what has been the past four years. I have had such crazy emotions lately - so very bitter at times, so perfectly sweet at others. I know as I continue to walk this through, it will become more & more sweet. Because my Jesus is good to me. & His ways are perfect.

Giveaway!

My Phi Lamb sister Katy is hosting an Erin Condren giveaway over at her blog... go check it out!

I know of a Christian who was in solitary confinement for years and experienced much hunger and pain. Sometimes he was aware of Jesus asking him, "Is it too difficult for you? Shall I ease your lot?" Again and again he replied, "Please, Jesus, see to others. I can bear it. I'm all right."

This is the bride's mentality. She tells Jesus to follow His calling as a king. She can carry the cross allotted to her in the hope that, when the evening comes, He will return to her. She is reluctant to make continual demands upon Him.

Excerpted from The Midnight Bride (pp. 154-155), by Richard Wumbrand

I have time...

I decided I should blog, but I don't feel inspired. I feel like anything I write will be mundane. There have been times I have wanted to write, but didn't have time. Thus the lack of writing! Oh well. Maybe you should read this at 9 pm to help you fall asleep, because it's now or [later than now] so this might be boring.

The past couple of weeks have been busy around here. Not necessarily time-busy, but emotionally busy. Josh searched for, found, & accepted a new job, quit his current job a couple of weeks ago, & is in the last couple of days before he's done. This has been stressful for him - quitting a job is never easy. & neither is the transition. But he is excited for his new opportunity & ready to get going. Fortunately, next week he will be in between jobs, so we get the whole week to hang out! That is a nice consolation prize, considering we don't get to take a vacation this fall now that he won't have the vacation time. (I'm pretty sad about that.) I wrote up a to-do list for the week, which includes important things like babyproofing the cabinets so Elliot can roam the house, & getting new internet & cell phone plans, & also equally-important-but-in-a-different-kind-of-way things such as "get a snow cone" & "go to the pool." It should be fun.

That's it for now, must enjoy some coffee before Elliot wakes up... I'll have more to share, but I won't say it'll be soon, because really, who knows. :)

Parenting 201

We have entered a new realm of parenting - discipline. Eek. Elliot is now crawling all over the place, pulling up, reaching for everything, & even exhibiting a bit of the "human sin nature." Oh boy. Now, if you don't think disciplining an 8 month old is appropriate, stop reading now. Josh & I believe that babies are smarter than they seem, & we want to teach him what is okay & what is not. We believe he has reached the stage where it is time to create boundaries. The problem is, how do I decide what those boundaries are?

You see, I am the type of person that lines up the kitchen table with the floor tiles. It's got to be straight. So, when my baby heads for my photo albums, do I get over it & force myself to think photos warped by drool is adorable? Or do I attempt to keep him away from everything that is not sold in the baby aisle of Target? You see my quandary.

It's hard to think about disciplining him. Who wants their child to get upset? I can see how parents end up letting their kids have or do whatever they want. But I also see what kind of kid that produces, & I don't want one of those!

God is SO teaching me right now to look to Him in EVERY moment. Stop - get my heart in the right place - pray & ask for wisdom/patience/peace - & let Him do it. Be obedient. What a process. It seems He is bound & determined to change me. How about that? Well, I might as well go with it. He really does have my best in mind, & Elliot's best. He is good. I really can rest in that!

Living radically

If you haven't read the book "Radical" by David Platt, I recommend you do so. Even more, I recommend you read it with your spouse. Josh & I are both reading it, & are only about halfway through, but it has caused many conversations between us. Reading it is much more impactful than my summary could ever be, so I won't even try. But here are some of the ways we are being challenged.

We have always been pretty frugal people (some may say "cheap"). But now we are considering - okay, when we choose not to spend our money on something, then what do we do with it? Are we frugal so that we can save save save? Or do we realize what eternal purpose that money could serve?

Now, the basis behind ANY question we ask is motive. Saving in itself isn't bad. Buying a house or a car or going out to eat aren't in themselves bad things. But when we save, is it because we are putting our security in our finances? We need a "safety net?" Is it taking away from our trust in the Lord, that He provides for all of our needs? Maybe. When we buy something, is it because the Lord is leading us to do so? Or because we want the new thing, the bigger thing?

We have, until now, thought that we would need to buy a new car soon - a new (used) SUV for me to truck our kids around in. I drive a small car & Josh drives an SUV with almost 150,000 miles on it. But what about me driving Josh's car until it dies? Well, I tell ya, I get much more excited about the thought of a newer car. But why?? I'm not saying we won't eventually buy a car. But we want our hearts to be in the right place. We want to be willing to sacrifice. We desire to live simply. We don't want our money to go toward "earthly trinkets," but "eternal treasures."

When we save money by not buying something, we are now challenged to consider where we might give it. We have always given money to our church & to other organizations. But maybe we should go above & beyond. Do we give out of excess, or are we sacrificing? God already gave us somewhere to give some money, & put it on Josh's heart for us to do so. I gladly submit to a husband who desires to give to something that will have eternal benefit!

I am also being challenged to consider my purpose. God wants to use us to make disciples; to change the world. Yes, being a wife & a mom is a huge calling that the Lord has placed on my life. But I know that's not all He has for me. & I want to be used where He wants to use me.

It may sound huge & lofty, all good & well, or it might sound crazy or legalistic. (Sidenote: One other thing I am trying to do right now is to make sure I'm not making "rules" for myself. As a rule follower, that is so easy for me. But I want there to be reason behind the things that I do.) Read the book! Platt's heart behind every word is that we might do what GOD wants. Die to ourselves that He might live through us. I am excited to see how the Lord is moving in our lives. He has GOOD things for us, & I want to be a part of it!!

Follow the rabbit trail.

So, one day after Elliot started crawling, he started pulling himself up to standing. Whaat? He is getting so big! It's so cute to walk into his room after his nap & he is sitting up in his crib waiting for me. We are going to buy him a convertible car seat this weekend. Unfortunately he is not a big fan of being in his infant seat longer than about 45 minutes, which makes 5 hour drives really, really long. So we're hoping the next step up will be more comfortable for him. Or I may need to invest in sedatives. For him or for me? I guess you'll never know! (Just kidding. Kind of.)

Last night I went to bed at 8:15. It was awesome.

Tomorrow is National Donut Day. Free donuts at Krispy Kreme & Dunkin Donuts. You're welcome.

Speaking of sugar, is there really anything better than a Double Stuf Oreo? Oh, oreo ice cream & oreo dirt pudding & oreo cake balls... good point.

We are excited for the Winnie the Pooh movie coming out soon. Elliot has two Pooh Bear stuffed animals, & a super soft Pooh diaper that says "Small Pieces of Fluff." It's so cute. I told Josh he is the Tigger to my Eeyore.

I love going through closets & drawers & getting rid of things. Throwing away, giving away, selling; doesn't matter. I love simplifying. Josh came home in a simplify mood so we cleared out our bookshelves & he cleaned his closet & some drawers in the bathroom. It's kind of like our house loses weight every time we get rid of things. It's great.

Here are a couple quotes at my desk that I like:
"The circumstances of life, the events, of life, & the people around me in life, do not make me the way I am, but reveal the way I am." Dr. Sam Peeples

"You are never more valuable to God than you were the day you were born." (I don't know who said that one, but it's good for the performance-driven types like me.)

It's 9 pm. Way past my bedtime!!

Crawling & marriage

I tell ya, if I didn't have things to do with my time, I'd have an awesome blog. But for the next 25ish years, this is what you are stuck with. :-)

Well, it looks like we have a crawler on our hands! After a couple days of being very frustrated over getting up on all fours but not being able to move, he figured it out & is shimmying his way across the living room. Usually toward me. Moving any previously folded laundry out of the way to get there. I tell ya (there I go, tellin' ya again), I am definitely learning how to let go of things, like always having everything neatly picked up. I do however have a nice looking living room after Elliot's bedtime! I refuse to become sloppy, but I will try not to be anal.

Yesterday was Josh & I's four year anniversary. Three years ago we were in Dallas, two years ago we were in Florence, Italy (gosh, like we'll ever be able to top that), & last year we found out Elliot was a boy, so this year was definitely low-key in comparison, but being able to go out to dinner babyless was a much needed treat!! Uncle Tyler & Aunt Kelsy watched Elliot while we went out to a delicious dinner (escargots, crab cake, bacon mac n cheese with steak, truffle lobster risotto, s'mores chocolate tart & tiramisu.... I'm drooling at the memory).

Lately I have become a little more aware that I am really, really blessed by my husband. It has surprised me to see several couples our age already divorced. I don't pretend to know or understand their circumstances, but for me, I can't imagine my life without Josh. I even have dreams where we're not married, but I know that we are supposed to be, or where another guy is pursuing me & I'm like... where's Josh??? I know people say it a lot, but he TRULY is my best friend, the person who I confide in & who I have the most fun with. Even if you stripped away every bit of romantic feelings, that would remain, as it was the foundation of our relationship for several years before romance even entered the picture. & I am so thankful for him & our relationship. I don't mean for it to say that I somehow got lucky to find that special person, or something... marriage takes a lot of work & a lot of learning to die to yourself. You can't be selfish & have a good marriage, & even if our marriage wasn't great, it is still a commitment we made before God that represents Christ & His relationship with His church, & we take that very seriously. We obviously have to work at it. But, he is wonderful. & he puts up with me. For that I am thankful!

My Identity Crisis

You know, it's amazing the things our identity can get caught up in. I think some are more obvious than others. There is the "I'm a stay at home mom;" the "I'm so successful in my job;" the "Why yes I am that person's spouse;" the "I am loving the single life;" etc. Those are identities we are more aware of. But what about roles like:

"I am so knowledgeable on this particular subject."

"I can't believe this is my life; let me tell you about my horrible life."

"I am the world's biggest fan of (insert sports team)."

"I am told I am so pretty all the time."

"I am (insert negative quality)."

"I live in a big house & drive a nice car."

We see these things that may or may not be true about us, & we dwell on them & allow them to become who we are. They determine whether or not we see ourselves as successful, valuable, or of any purpose. That's a problem. Even if those things are "good," they will eventually leave us empty & desperate for more.

I have been in a funk lately, & I am beginning to think that I have been grabbing onto these things that I see in my life, & letting them become who I am & what I am about. For instance, "I am sleep deprived & a slave to the nap schedule." My baby doesn't sleep well, & I take that to mean I am somehow failing, & afraid that others view it that way too. (That being said, if you come at me with advice, I might kick you in the shin.) Or, "this is what my body looks like now after having a baby, & the world tells me it isn't good." Great. So, if I allow these thoughts to happen, & I begin to see myself in these ways, I get frustrated & it wears on me emotionally & spiritually. Because that is NOT who I am. I am chosen by God; set free from the old, self-focused me. I have at my disposal the ability to feel freedom, peace, & joy. I want to choose those things! He has given me the role of wife & mom, & when those things are difficult, I'm not supposed to wallow in my circumstances, I'm supposed to ask Him for wisdom, for the solution to my problem. God says that what I look like on the outside doesn't matter, but my heart & my intentions do. So which one should I spend more time worrying about?? Who said my baby should be sleeping through the night every night at 12 weeks, anyways? Does God value that? (I'm not saying you're bad if you try to get your baby to sleep. I just need to make sure my heart is in the right place about it.)

I'm certainly not saying that I've figured it out. I'm trying to. I don't like being in a funk! & I think I need to focus on where I am putting my worth. That will definitely help. This is not what God has for me. He has much, much better - He has promised good things for me. I just need to allow Him to make it so.

The Royal Wedding

I have to admit, the thought of waking up in the wee morning hours to watch the royal wedding seemed kind of crazy, especially considering I truly value my sleep these days. But in the end, the desire to make a memory won out (not to mention not having a DVR; I had no "watch it later" option). I set my alarm for 4:30, & of course Elliot woke me up at 3:45, so it's 8:30 & I've been up for almost 5 hrs. I'm on to breakfast & cup of coffee #2. (It's gonna be a long day).

Anyways, it was pretty great. It was so cool to watch the royal family driving to the church, & to see everyone walking in. [Side note: I want to wear fastenators (sp?)! I think they are awesome! Can someone please start selling them on this side of the pond?]

Then to see Kate getting into the car, to see the dress, her face behind a veil - all the anticipation (that has indeed been media-driven, but nevertheless, it was there) culminating in seeing her heading toward her groom. I got emotional, it's true. & I realized that the way that we see this bride, looking amazing on her wedding day, is only a small picture of one day, when the Body of Christ, all believers, the bride of Christ, is presented to her Groom. It is going to be more amazing, more exciting, more passionate than any wedding we've ever seen or experienced. His love for us is greater than the love of a prince for his princess. It is the love of a King for His creation, for those He literally laid down His life for.

I think there is a part of every woman that loves the fairy tale; that wants to be the princess in the gorgeous dress. Because we were made for that! We were made to be saved, to be redeemed, to be passionately loved & desired & treasured. Marriage is a picture of that, but it's not perfect. Your earthly husband will let you down - he is incapable of loving perfectly. The only way we can truly fill that need is to understand the way that Jesus passionately loves us. I would say sometimes I feel I understand it, but largely, I continue to pray that I would really experience the love that He has for me, & be able to comprehend how that love was shown at the cross. He doesn't need to prove His love for me (though He still chooses to, every day if I choose to see it) - He already did. I just need to understand & accept it in order to live in it.

One day our knight on a white horse will come for us. We will be rescued from pain, hurt, sorrow, death. We will finally be in the presence of our King, Father, Creator, Savior, Friend, Groom. Revelation gives us a little bit of an idea what it will be like, but really, we can't fathom it. But I do know, it will be more spectacular than the wedding I watched this morning (as lovely as it was). THAT will be a royal wedding, my friends. The One that has the authority over all kings & princes & governors & earthly officials will come for us, & we will be presented to Him - beautiful, adorned, pure, radiant.

And I will betroth you to Me forever. I will betroth you to Me in righteousness & in justice, in steadfast love & in mercy.

Hosea 2:19

For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name; & the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth He is called.

Isaiah 54:5

As the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.

Isaiah 62:5

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing.

Zephaniah 3:5

Then I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse! The one sitting on it is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and makes war. His eyes are like a flame of fire, and on His head are many diadems, and He has a name written that no one knows but himself. He is clothed in a robe dipped in blood, and the name by which He is called is The Word of God. And the armies of heaven, arrayed in fine linen, white and pure, were following Him on white horses. From His mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations, and He will rule them with a rod of iron. He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty. On His robe and on His thigh He has a name written, King of kings and Lord of lords.

Revelation 19:11-16

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Revelation 21:1-4

Teething, & things you do with your teeth

So I don't think that I realized how much I would hate teething. Hate it! First of all, it's one of those things that sometimes is hard to figure out... okay, fussy baby... been fed, been changed (though Elliot doesn't fuss over a messy diaper), being entertained... teething??? The past couple of nights, he has woken up & screamed & screamed, even when I'm rocking him. We've busted out the Tylenol on those occasions. It's just sad that he is hurting & I can't do anything! & that it interrupts sleep - no one wants that!! & no teeth to be seen. I do think his gums were swollen today, so maybe soon.

Elliot started solids a couple of weeks ago, which didn't start out so well, but we are sticking with fruits for now while he gets used to things & develops a taste for different flavors. He likes apple. Bananas kept him from pooping for 2 days, so I think we'll keep those away for now! That, plus his need to reach & grab things, his constant movement - I have realized I have a real live baby. No more little helpless infant, but a growing boy that is developing personality & will get into trouble (hopefully not too much; we're hoping he's lame like his parents ;-) ) that will soon be crawling then walking & talking - ah! I get ahead of myself. It's fun though. It'll be totally crazy one day when we have multiple kids. In a good way. :-)

I'd also like to mention that I started up the food blog again! You can find it on the left side of the page under my favorites - Tried & True Recipe Share. It started out with several women all contributing, then we all kind of fell away from posting recipes (my excuse was that I was not experimenting in the kitchen while pregnant). But lately I have been trying lots of new recipes, so I started posting the ones that turn out good, mostly so I have a place to store them all because my recipe box is only so big. So take a look!

Baby, massage, hummus

I am still constantly amazed that Elliot is like a real live baby now! My little infant is gone. He no longer just lays there. He always wants to play & move & grab things now. It's just crazy! This past week he has pretty much mastered sitting up. He loves to reach out to grab his toys, which sometimes includes face-planting, which he seems to find entertaining. He's going to be a mobile little guy once he figures out crawling!! He isn't a big fan of bending his legs, so I don't think crawling will happen anytime soon... of course, he changes week to week so I could be completely wrong! It's so fun to see him growing. It is a challenge on some days, especially when he's a little fussy (teething, I think) or won't nap or wants to be entertained (by me) all day. It's tiring! But so fun, & I wouldn't have it any other way.

That being said, I am cashing in Thursday on the gift certificate my parents gave me for a massage, & I am SO EXCITED. Oh man. My back has been hurting pretty bad the past month or two, so I know it will help, not to mention the relaxation factor & spa experience. Oh how I love going to the spa. It doesn't happen often, so it is indeed a treat that I REALLY enjoy!!

I made a black bean hummus last week that I must share with you. I got the recipe from Jenny Rigney, & it is DELISH! I am motivated to make different kinds of hummus. I'll have to experiment soon when I have some free time.

Here it is:

Black Bean Hummus

1 Garlic Clove
1 15 Oz Can Black Beans, rinsed and drained
3 Tbsp Olive Oil
2 Tbsp Water
Juice of 1/2 a Lemon
1/2 Tsp Cumin
1/4 Tsp Salt (we use kosher)
1/4 Cup Cilantro, chopped

1. Place garlic clove in a food processor and pulse for 1 minute.
2. Add the remaining ingredients and puree in food processor until smooth.
3. Serve with toasted pita bread, tortilla chips, or fresh veggies.

I didn't add the lemon juice because I didn't have any, & I didn't add cilantro because it makes me want to barf. I loved it with black corn chips & with Sun Chips.

Enjoy!

Dedication is more than just a day...

My oh my, poor blog, how I have neglected you. Or rather, I have neglected the five of you who read it. I hope you are sticking with me. :-)

Life has been good. I feel like I have hit a good, new normal. My work load has evened out, for the most part, & I am able to delegate the time for each part of my jobs: wife, mom, homemaker, part-time employee. My house is even clean! How about that! I have definitely learned to extend grace to myself for the times that I just can't do it all. Josh & Elliot are my priority, & so if something else doesn't get done perfectly, that is okay. Life will go on! I am thankful to work for someone who cares about our family, & understands when I need to put work on pause to tend to Elliot. I feel like I have a good balance going on right now - well, minus exercise, that one is still lacking a bit. But as time goes on, I get a little more energy, so high hopes for getting back to some kind of exercise routine.

We dedicated Elliot to the Lord on Sunday at church. It was a special time for us to stand before our church body & say that we will do everything we can to lead him to the Lord, & for them to agree with us to come along side us & do what they can as well. I know God has created Elliot's life for a good purpose, & our role is to try our best to raise him to know God & to love His Word & obey His leading.

Part of that, that I am having a hard time with, is knowing that Elliot's life is in God's hands. As a mom, I take care of his basic needs - feeding him, keeping him clean, helping him sleep, etc. I protect him as best I can. But this has also brought a heaviness on me, an anxiety. I am responsible for this little person's well-being?! What if I mess up?? What if I do something terribly wrong? Oh, what a heavy burden to carry! It is not mine to carry! I am taking on more than my role. His life is NOT dependent on me. He is God's, & God will protect him regardless of my actions. Now, I'm obviously not saying I have no responsibility - but I am not fully responsible for him. I can't be. I do what I am supposed to do, & make decisions as best I can, but I am not going to mess up God's plan for Elliot, I'm just not.

I'm trying so hard to walk in faith, trusting God fully. A result of that will be peace & joy over my role as a mom. I haven't succeeded yet; I still deal with a physical feeling of anxiety. I have always struggled with fear, in different ways, & this is just a new version of it for me. But I know that this is something God wants to do in me, so I am prayerful in it. I want to trust Him with my children. I know I can. It's just walking that out, day by day, in my actions & emotions.

In other news, Elliot is five months now. He is continuing to grow like a weed. He is at least 27 inches long & about 16 lbs (these are my measurements so I know they are not exact) - 91st% for height, 32nd% for weight. Our little string bean! His weight had dropped off a month ago to 20th%, so I'm glad he bumped it up this month. He loves to stand (it's really hard sometimes to get him to sit!), loves having his fingers in his mouth (or anything, really), & has developed some fun new squeals & talks a lot more now. I think he may be teething - he has had some super grumpy moments lately, which is sad for our normally happy little guy.

Jason & Paige are coming to visit us this weekend, so we are very excited to spend time with old friends. I also got to spend time with a couple of friends last week. I am so thankful for the friendships that we have & are able to keep up with, though we don't live close to each other. I also love to see them loving on our little man. It is a blessing!

Walking in the Name of the Lord

For all the peoples walk, each in the name of its god,

but we will walk in the name of the Lord our God,

forever & ever.

Micah 4:5

I love flipping through my Bible & reading verses that I have underlined in the past. I've had this Bible for at least 5 years now, & there are a lot of verses that have been significant during that time. I came across this verse above this morning. For me, it is one that I could easily read & agree with it & the truth it holds, then move on. But in the midst of the things I was thinking about this morning, I really read it - I will walk in the name of the Lord my God. This scripture points out that all people walk in the name of a god, whether they know it or not. Some people profess to be Christians, but do not "walk in the name of the Lord."

For our family, in this time, it could be easy to walk in the name of planning - the name of financial security - the name of good intentions - even the name of trying to make God's plan happen. Ah! We could so easily be deceived to think that we're doing what is good & right. But what does it really mean to "walk in the name of the Lord?" Seeking to know Him & to serve His purposes on earth - Matthew 6:33. & verse 34! "Do not be anxious about tomorrow... sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Don't concern myself with the future. As someone who desires to know Jesus & walk with Him, I am called to TRUST His plans for me. & I do not get to approve of them first! But I know that His plans for me are good (Jere. 29:11) & that He will provide for our needs - back to Matt. 6:33 - when I seek Him & His purposes first, "all of [the things that I need] will be added unto [me]." & He doesn't need my help!!

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer & supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts & your minds in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:4-7

"Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, & we cannot take anything out of the world."

1 Timothy 6:6

"And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists & that He rewards those who seek Him."

Hebrews 11:6

So... walk in faith (I could go into what it means to do that, but I only have so much time!). Trust Him with our needs, our future, our desires. I pray that He gives us the desire for what He has for us, then the patience & faith to wait for His provision. I pray that He gives me the desire & ability to please Him in my actions, thoughts, & intentions, & to walk in obedience to what He has for us, "giving thanks in all circumstances" (1 Thess. 5:18).

I rest in this promise:

"Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely, & may your whole spirit & soul & body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it."

1 Thess. 5:23-24

The Hospital Bag

If you are a male, or if the thought of having a baby freaks you out, skip this post. For reals.

So I have several friends who are pregnant, & I wanted to write a post that would've been helpful for me in the last few weeks of pregnancy regarding -

THE HOSPITAL BAG.

Dun, dun dunnn.

What to pack, what to pack? That is the question. I'll answer what was in my bag (& some comments about why), so take it for what you will! Take my birth experience into consideration too; these things may not be necessary for everyone.

For you

* Comfy pants/shorts: like yoga pants, or goucho pants - you want to have plenty of space to be retaining water, & not getting anywhere close to where you just experienced much damage! I wore these when I left the hospital, & for a couple of weeks at home.

* Nursing bras, loose tops

* Warm socks: I heard you might need these for the hot/cold phenom, but in labor I didn't wear them, then afterward I was SO HOT I never put them on.

* Nursing gown: I stayed in a hospital gown from the time we got there until 36 hrs after Elliot was born due to not being able to stay standing up without passing out so no shower, but after I showered, a nursing gown was a very comfy option for lounging. You want to be able to hike it up when you're laying in bed so that you don't bleed on it!

*House shoes: I barely got out of bed while I was there, but did use them.

* Bigger-than-normal undies: I didn't wear them in the hospital but did when I got home. You want to make sure they wouldn't be right where a C-section scar would be, just in case. But in case you don't like the mesh underwear the hospital provides (I did!), take your own.

* Your own pillows w/ a non-white pillow case: it's nice to have them to sleep on, & you want to be able to identify them.

* Towels: their towels are like hand towels. Bring your own!

* Toiletries: shampoo, soap, etc. I didn't shave (sorry if that is gross but I don't care), didn't plan on blow-drying my hair (seriously, just gave birth, don't expect me to look good!).

* Breast pump: you never know if you might need it. You can leave it in the car & just send your hubby to run out to get it if you need it.

* Nursing pillow: we brought it but I am not sure I used it? I think I just used a normal pillow while there.

* Birthing ball (exercise ball): I did use it but it definitely didn't help my contractions, so I won't take it next time for sure.

* Chapstick: your lips get dry!

* Nursing pads & cream (though the hospital will probably provide a cream sample)

* I-pod: we brought a dock too so we could play classical music during labor. I definitely didn't pay attention to it the whole time, but it was nice to have something playing in the background - I wouldn't have liked silence.

* Computer: good for loading pictures for long hospital stays (like our 4 days!)

* Snacks/flavored water: definitely came in handy for labor! & good for in between meals.

* Baby book: I took it but never pulled it out. We just stored away the things we wanted to keep for it, like the footprints & other documents.

Hubby

* Shirts/shorts/socks/underwear

* Towel

* Snacks

* Toiletries

* Camera: Josh was all over the place after Elliot was born, & I was useless

* Blanket: might be a good idea if you are boiling hot after delivery & want the room freezing cold

* Cell phone charger

Baby

* Pacifiers: we took I think 4 different kinds, which I am glad because the one that everyone said he would LOVE, he did not take! So glad we took more.

* Homecoming outfit

*Clothes: I don't think this is necessary, because they supply little shirts & hats for baby. You may want to take socks to put on their hands, or feet when they aren't swaddled.

* Receiving blanket: good for the ride home since the hospital provides them while you are there.

* Car seat

What you'll need at home

I've already mentioned a couple of things that you need (comfy pants, big undies), but here are some other things. I took them to the hospital but they provided what I needed, however it was good that I already had them at home because they definitely got used!

* Big, heavy pads: for those first few days, you need the big heavy-duty kind. (Not to mention, it was really great I had these at home when my water broke! Ew!)

* Lighter pads & pantiliners: need these for when "things" slow down a bit

* Witch-hazel pads, Dermaplast spray: while you are in the hospital, ask the nurses for an ice pack (or at my hospital, they froze wet diapers), then in this order from the bottom-up, make this combo: ice pack/diaper, witch-hazel pads, Dermaplast spray (in the mesh undies) = ahhhhh. Great relief when you HURT! When you get home, you should be okay without the ice pack, but still use the WH pads & spray on top of pads.

* Ibuprofen: my midwives provided me a prescription for hospital-grade ibuprofen (w/ 3 refills!) so I didn't need it, BUT you will if you don't get the heavy hospital stuff.

* Stool softeners: yep.

Some people use the sitz bath thing, & your hospital may provide you one, but I never did. Seemed like a lot of trouble... I probably should have used it though.

I think that's it... luckily all of this not fun stuff comes with an adorable little baby. :-)

I'm. So.

Tired.

Elliot is sleeping so well at night (he was sleeping completely through the night, but now most nights he wakes up once in between 4-6 am to eat, which I'm okay with since he could stand to gain a little weight), so it's certainly not that I'm not getting enough sleep. But I seriously feel like I could sleep for days. &/or that I need a coffee IV hooked up to me, pole & everything. & I'm not one of those coffee addicts who jokes about "needing their coffee," but seriously... so tired. I was talking to a woman at church the other week about it, & she said that I need these 9 months post-partum to get back to my normal self. That my body needs that time to recover. Well, that makes sense! I have been walking around thinking I should be completely back to normal now. Heck, I thought I'd be back to my regular routine 2 weeks after delivery (psshh!! not sure where I got that idea). She had a baby 10 months ago & is just now feeling normal again. Phew, okay, so there are better days ahead!

Oh, & don't joke about how I'm going to be tired for the next 18 years, or that I'll have a messy house for the next 18 years, or that I have forever lost my brain. My mom managed to be a mom & volunteer for a million organizations when I was a kid, as well as keep our house tidy & cook dinner without seeming to go insane, so I know it can be done!

Maybe I should write a "Things You Should Not Feel Free to Ask, Say, or Advise People in Regard to Parenting" post. (For my "TYSNFFTASOAPIRT Pregnancy & Babies" post, see here.) Hmm, there's a thought....

K, baby's awake, gotta go! :-)

Welcome, month five!!

(Okay, this can be confusing, but Elliot is entering his fifth month of life, so he is just now four months old - so when I say "Welcome, month five" that means, he is in his fifth month, not that he IS five months old... k.)

I feel like Elliot has changed so much in the past week or two! Let me tell you all about it. :-)

In regard to sleep, month four was a tough one. Elliot had been sleeping 6-7 hrs, waking up to eat, then sleeping another 4 hours every night, like clockwork. Then the "four month sleep regression" hit, & predictability went out the window, as did good sleep. There was no telling when, or how many times, he would wake up. Basically, during the sleep regression period, babies are learning how to sleep like big people instead of like newborns, which includes being able to put yourself back to sleep after waking up. So for about a month, every time he woke up, he'd need his paci & perhaps some shushing to get back to sleep. There were, I think, three nights that he woke up 6-8 times. AH! Finally, about a week ago, he started waking up only two or three times, & enter this week: Sunday & Monday night, he woke up once for his paci & went all night without eating, then Tuesday & Wednesday night, slept all night without waking up at all. WOW! What a difference it makes, sleeping all night without waking up - I'm talking about me! It's been a full year since I started waking up during the night to pee, then to tend to a newborn, so it's pretty nice to be sleeping again.

Also about a week ago, he started talking more. He has been pretty non-verbal up until now, just choosing to check things out around him without contributing a lot. Now he's just a little talker! He lays in his play yard & talks, talks, talks. I'll hold him & he'll look up at me & talk, talk, talk. I'll talk back to him & he'll smile, then talk some more. If only I knew what he was saying! It's like all of a sudden, he's just a little person, part of the world, & not just a little newborn. Sigh. Soon enough, he'll get teeth & be eating real food & sitting up then CRAWLING... oh I can't take it. Slow down, little guy!!!

Aggies & sicknesses

A lot has happened in the past couple of weeks! We went back to the Motherland (College Station, of course), Elliot got a staph infection, I got food poisoning at my birthday dinner... what fun! Well, I guess only one of those things was fun.

We hadn't been back to College Station in a long time, which is not okay, so we went back for a basketball game & tailgating (which was really just hanging out inside of an RV; no tailgate involved). I love driving into that town... seeing the sign off of Highway 21 - "College Station - Texas A&M University," rounding the corner to see Kyle Field & the smokestacks appear above the trees, passing Research Park (our park, where we had many dates, including our first date & the our engagement)... all the memories come flooding back. Such a good time. I love that all my memories of those four years are good ones.

Naturally, we went back to Sweet Eugene's for a java shake... twice. :-) Oreo & vanilla. The vanilla was superb, just as good as any I had while studying for hours on end in that place. Sigh.

The day before we left for CS, I noticed that the tip of one of Elliot's fingers was really red. It didn't look like an ingrown fingernail, & it was hot, so we took him to an urgent care clinic Saturday morning. Staph infection sounds scary, & it is really contagious, but we got him on some antibiotics (that turned his poop green, like he had eaten grass... gross) & they cleared it right up.

Then it was my birthday! I love my birthday, & I usually enjoy making a big deal of it & taking advantage of my birthday... & birthday week... & birthday month... but this year, baby + work kept me so occupied, my birthday almost just slipped by. What a shame. But Josh baked me a funfetti cake (my favesies) & took me out to dinner Saturday night, where I had clam chowder & fish & chips... let's just say I won't be eating clam chowder again for a while. I can't be too sure, but I'm banking on the yucks coming from those big chunks of clam. The next morning at church, my stomach started hurting, so we went home & I had some soup & went to take a nap, & woke up with chills. We thought it was the flu, but the fever was gone Monday morning & I felt significantly better. I am still getting queasy now & then, which probably means I should not eat cake & enchiladas....

So, there is our life as of late. That, plus a lot of work, that will hopefully slow down very soon. I need to clean my house!

(I am fully aware I could have just spent this time cleaning instead of blogging. But who does that??)

Oh how He loves us!

Wow... I didn't think when I wrote that last blog post, that hundreds of people would read it! My friend Heather works for VOM, & sent my blog along to the newsletter department because they had received so much negative feedback from that picture I wrote about. & somehow it ended up on their facebook page!

This was a huge blessing to me... last night, I met with the woman who is discipling me, & I was explaining that yes, I find much eternal purpose in being a wife & a mom, but sometimes I wonder how the Lord wants to use me outside of that. I believe that He does, but sometimes I don't see it. I mentioned that sometimes I feel like a failure, because I don't have this certain character trait or that natural ability. But the Lord revealed to me through this, that He can use me right where I am. A simple wife & mom, blogging about our boring lives & occasionally about what Jesus is teaching me - He can use something like that for His glory & for the encouragement of the saints. Amazing! I am so thankful for that word from Him. Continue in the way that the Spirit leads me, & He will use me, as the part of the Body that I am.

I love when He chooses to show us... "I do love you... you are valuable... & significant in My plan..."

Beauty

I receive a monthly newsletter from The Voice of the Martyrs (if you don't receive it, I recommend you contact them to do so - it's free - www.persecution.com). This month, the cover is a picture of a woman, Yubelina, from Indonesia. She was burned in an attack by Muslims on her Christian village.

Her skin is splotchy & ranges in color from light brown to red to white. Much of it is leathery. Her nose is disfigured. She has a purplish-colored patch of skin in between her bottom lip & the bottom of her chin. Her upper lip is peeling. Her left eye is white & red; her pupil is clearly no longer able to see.

But she is smiling. A huge smile. Joy radiates from her. Why?? She must receive stares. Children are probably afraid of her. The world would call her damaged. Ugly.

Yubelina has figured out where her identity lies. She is a treasured child of the King. She has traded "a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning" (Isa. 61:3). Her smile reveals Jesus.

Yubelina is beautiful. I guarantee she has a joy, a contentment, that no name-brand, trendy clothing; no perfect haircut & makeup; no flawless skin or toned body can bring.

I want to be beautiful like that. I want my face to shine like Moses, because I have been in the presence of God. I want my treasure to lie in heaven & not in the tangible, the material. I want to be joyful & content & full of peace.

Jesus, make it so.

"I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall exult in my God, for He has clothed me with the garments of salvation; He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." Isaiah 61:10

Rainy Saturday

It is really yucky out. It's been in the 30's & 40's almost all week, which is REALLY cold for San Antonio, & today it is drizzly too. Yuck.

Elliot has a cold :-( so he has been feeling snotty, sneezing & coughing & sleeping a lot. It is pretty sad.

These two things happened to coincide with our one free Saturday of the month. We had decided to work on the house today, specifically the study, cleaning it out & organizing. We have two old computers that we are in the process of clearing so we can donate them, & I have sorted through all my work stuff, thrown away lots of old unnecessary papers... ah, it feels good to throw things away! Josh & I have also had some work to do today for our jobs, so all in all, it's been a fairly productive, inside kind of day.

We went to the doctor yesterday for Elliot's cough, as a perfectly normal nervous first-time mother would, & found out his weight is 13 pounds, 7 ounces. I measured him today at 25.25 inches. That makes him at the 78th percentile for height, & the 41st percentile for weight. Our little guy is looking long & lean! He's 3 months on Tuesday... crazy.

That's all for now, just thought I'd check in... back to being productive!

Time for Normal

Today is a big fat *sigh* to me. In a good way. Finally, Christmas gift buying is over, traveling is over (for a couple weeks, anyways!), busyness is over... phewwwww. This week, I have time to clean my house, how about that??

I am feeling thankful for newness today, as well. Yes, it's a new year, but that is just a coincidence for me - for me, it's getting back to normal like I mentioned, but also I feel like I'm getting a new start with things - back to eating well, back to exercise (at least, I have high hopes for this one starting soon, I just need to find the time), & back to spending time with the Lord in the morning with my cup of coffee. It's these things that are just good to me! & a good mixture of busyness & laziness have kept those things from being the norm lately. Since Elliot was born, I have felt like I've been in a bit of a funk, unable to get to normal routine & do anything more than the things that were pressing. All I did was take care of Elliot (because his life kind of depends on me), do laundry (because we need clothes), grocery shop (because we need food), & work (because I had a deadline). But in a less pressing way, I NEED to spend time with God every day, in the Word & in prayer; I NEED to exercise; I NEED to be purposeful about eating well. These are not New Year's resolutions to me - this is getting back to normal. This is starting fresh, full of grace. Oh yeah, & the desire to fit into my jeans again, sooner than later. :-)

We rang in the New Year in North Carolina at Zac & Cara's wedding. It was really fun to spend time with them, & their reception was a blast. Elliot did really well the first 3 days, then all that lack of napping & too much car-seating caught up with him, & he didn't do so well the day we came home. But today he's back to normal, sleeping lots. Anyways, Zac & Cara have moved overseas, so no vacations with them for at least a year & a half, but they will resume one day, & until then, plenty of Skype dates.

This month is filling up with fun, less stressful plans, like a Cotton Bowl party Friday, going to College Station, & my birthday :-) . It'll be a good month.